DS4 rude tone?

[NCshirtdetective]

Hi, I'm looking for advice about my 4 year old DS's language and tone.

He will shout, and for example a neighbour came up and said good morning X and he shouted back, 'THAT'S NOT MY NAME.'

Or he'll shout at a teacher at pickup 'I WANT THIS'/'WHERE IS MY X' and when I tell him to say it nicely he'll either refuse or just shout 'PLEASE.' If I ask him to say the whole thing nicely he just says 'NO' and if I say he then gets a punishment he just starts crying and screaming and lying on the floor.

Any tips or advice on how to change this? His friends are all well behaved/softer spoken. He is a nice boy but just gets frustrated/has a rude tone, and I don't know how to correct it.

Stay consistent with the consequences. Ignore his crying/screaming on the floor, he’s just being dramatic to try to avoid punishment! He’ll soon learn that rudeness = unwanted consequences.

@Movingsoon21 Whenever I do that it escalates the situation into a full tantrum, me having to drag him off down the road, him refusing to move and screaming.

I don't understand why his friends all seem quite easy going and he by contrast is shouty/rude and when I tell him no he refuses/it escalates into a tantrum with nothing learned.

Has he had his hearing checked?

@NCshirtdetective he’ll escalate while he knows that will break you. Just keep a light and breezy attitude “oh dear, what a tantrum!” And keep on with the process. He’ll push until he knows he won’t break you!

[quote Movingsoon21]@NCshirtdetective he’ll escalate while he knows that will break you. Just keep a light and breezy attitude “oh dear, what a tantrum!” And keep on with the process. He’ll push until he knows he won’t break you![/quote]
Absolutely this.

His hearing has always been fine and he's never had a problem hearing people speaking, whispers, or quiet noises.

He is generally very sweet but he won't just listen to me and be easygoing the way the other children do. If I say something he doesn't like he says no or screams and flails until I drag him off. It's a nightmare.

@Movingsoon21 that is good advice thank you. It does embarrass me so I try anything not to escalate the situation, but I think I need to get over that.