Thanking nasty people

[littlemisspigg]

AIBU or have you sometimes felt grateful for the nasty mean people in your life, for you are wiser, stronger thanks to them?

No.

No. I'm wiser, stronger etc thanks to ME. I achieved success in my life despite, not because of, the nasty, abusive arseholes who trashed my childhood, my adolescence, and the self esteem of the younger me.

As far as I'm concerned they can rot. And I'm unrepentant about saying so.

Only indirectly. My abusive and unloving narcissist mother made me determined to escape as far away as possible, so gave me the impetus to do well in my A levels and get accepted for medical school 450 miles away.
But the lack of confidence and low self esteem hampered me for years. I would have much preferred a loving and encouraging mother.

@littlemisspigg

AIBU or have you sometimes felt grateful for the nasty mean people in your life, for you are wiser, stronger thanks to them?

No absolutely not. I didn't need to be tougher, my life didn't need to be a battle desogned to harden me and I didn't need to be moulded by trauma.

The horrible people are the ones who broke me, I'm the one who built myself back up and my softer, loving friends with kind words, open hearts and selfless love were the ones who helped me become truly wiser and stronger.

If they weren’t there though, you’d have no reason to be wiser or stronger, would you? Because there would be no need to be. So, I get the sentiment but no, you shouldn’t need to be grateful.

I actually used to think that way op, wrote poetry about how I had to thank the people who tortured me, until I realised it was a crock of shit to make myself not have to look at myself. 51 now, and I don't owe anyone thanks for that shit, they don't deserve the steam of my piss.

I was always strong, that's what they hated about me the most.