To think just bloody go for it woman!

[PizzaEater15]

Ok I've had to name change as potentially this could make me cringe hugely depending on responses! 😆
I visit an Italian restaurant quite often and one of the waiters is awfully nice. Generally friendly as I guess staff in such roles are, but I do notice him looking at me a lot anytime I look up from my food. I visit with my DD3.5 , sometimes just her and I, sometimes with various friends too. He always makes a beeline for us, has given my daughter free ice cream etc. Always looks in my direction even if I'm just walking outside past the restaurant. I feel there's a slight 'spark' though of course could just be his friendly nature and the kind of job he's in!
Anyway, my aibu is aibu to consider messaging him on instagram (we're connected on there) not to ask him out but just to open potential dialogue with a 'thanks for the ice cream for DDs birthday' or similar?? In hope that if he's interested he might ask me out 😊
If it's relevant, I'm late 30s, he's probably early 40s. I feel like a silly teenager asking this... help!! 😆
Thanks all!

Only one negative to this I can think of and that is what if he is married or just being polite?
You may not want to go in the restaurant again if it all goes wrong

Do it! And please update us!

Also though, there would be nothing wrong with actually asking him out. May as well go for it, the worst he can say is no.

And there would be nothing to be embarrassed about if he said no, no need to avoid the restaurant as a previous poster suggested, I'm sure he'll be flattered either way!

Nothing wrong with starting a conversation...

@Bunty55 I don't think he's married, his Facebook says single though he's not been on there for a while. I don't think I'd ask him out in a first message though... just in case! But a friendly message to start a conversation maybe??
@EllaVaNight @Momijin thank you both for the encouragement 😉 might need a few more people to encourage me before I go for it... but I'm swaying more towards yes now!

Why do it on Instagram. Why not in person.

When you say you're connected on insta do you mean you follow each other? If so, go for it!

@Sportslady44 I guess because that's maybe easier for both of us than in the restaurant which is generally quite busy. We've chatted a lot in there, but not really the easiest place to ask somebody out... should he wish to of course!

How much tip do you give him?

How exciting OP! Ignore the selected others who are being overly harsh. I’d message him on instagram, no harm in trying this could be the start of something! Keep us updated! x

Do it. I did and went on a first date tonight

How much tip do you give him? hopefully he'll be giving the OP more than just the tip

@Sportslady44

Why do it on Instagram. Why not in person.

This. I think it will be easier and you can instantly get a response/ reaction

I'd leave it to him. I wouldn't flirt with him on social media. If he fancies you he'll find you. Privately 👍🏼

I don't think she should do it in person, that's his workplace.

If she just sends a friendly message on Insta (outside of the restaurant where they normally talk as customer-waiter) and he writes back in an equally friendly way then it takes their relationship outside of its existing world, into something potentially more. Whether that's just social media chatter, friends or romance, time will tell.

It also gives him the ability to not respond, or to just respond politely without prompting a further back and forth, which will indicate without too much embarrassment that he wants the relationship to stay in the restaurant and as it is.

I think a friendly Insta message is the way to go.

Good luck Op!

Oh just say hello on Instagram.
Nothing that could be misconstrued as you fancying him, of course.
Go for it.

Yeah don't obviously flirt or ask him out. Just test the water with something friendly and casual. If he's been crushing on you he'll be thrilled and respond in kind and you can feel your way from there, step at a time

@EllaVaNight

How much tip do you give him? hopefully he'll be giving the OP more than just the tip

Go for it!! Friendly.insta message is the way to go. Easy for him to let you down gently if he's not interested

I would never ask a guy out because of my own silly insecurities but I think if you message him on insta just start with something like
"Thanks for the ice cream for DD, they absolutely loved it. Anyway I hope you are well 😊" and he might respond and conversation can start from there.

Just my opinion. But good luck. This sounds so exciting lol

Go for it OP, if you keep the dialogue friendly you have absolutely nothing to lose.

I’d be too scared, unless I didn’t care for the restaurant that much….
You have nothing to lose I guess, if your ok that it could go either way then go for it.

Go for it op , but if he says no for whatever reason will you ever be able to show yourself in the restaurant again. I personally don't think I could 😕

Go for it. You're already following/friends on social media, which in itself says something. I mean, who started that? How many other people in businesses you use, do you have on FB and IG?