To get my partner a Men's Health Check for his birthday?

[largeprintagathachristie]

Would it go down like a lead balloon to get my partner (late 50s) a private health Men's Health Check for his birthday? It would, wouldn't it. Hmmm.

• He smoked from the age of 14 (I know, right) into his 40's, most of that heavily
• He's put on a lot of weight and his BMI must be pretty bad, I'm guessing 30.5, which is in the obese range. (He would probably see himself as a little overweight.)
• His father died young from a heart attack

I haven't mentioned the weight for about a year as it does not go down well. And I can see I would be pissed off if the situation were reversed. But I honestly don't care what he looks like; I'm worried about cardiovascular disease.
He is quite fatalistic about some of his contemporaries starting to die from heart attacks.

Covid was also an eye-opener, as I suspect he might not have fared well, had he contracted it before vaccination.

Anyway, any advice welcome, on how to bring up the subject and have a helpful conversation without being shut down, or indeed if you think the Men's Health Check might be a go-er rather than completely inflammatory. They're really expensive but it would be worth it to me.

It's not nice to have to worry about your partner's health. I know it comes from love.

But no, that's not an appropriate birthday gift. I would get him something else, then a health check later in the year if he agrees to get one. There's really no point getting one if he won't take it seriously because change only happens when someone sees a problem and wants to change. Unfortunately 💐

If he isn’t interested in his health you can’t make him be. He probably knows he’s not healthy and is frightened to know the truth.

How’s he get in with the noom routine on his own, did he give up?

How would you feel about receiving the women's version for your birthday?

I thought this. That's a shit present.

If I were him, and read this thread, I'd dump you so fast that you'd need a time machine to observe my exit.

Remove judgement, stress and a lot of dead weight in one fell swoop.

Terrible present. Get him the latest Apple Watch instead. Lots of useful health features. You can monitor your heart rate, do an ECG, check oxygen levels,set up an alarm to call 999 if you have a fall etc etc.

No

@Bluegreensomething
You'd dump me "so fast" because I'm worried that my partner - with significant risk factors for poor cardiovascular health - is shortening his life? Yes, I'm working out what to say or not say, but it's because I care. He, in turn, is completely on my back about lifestyle measures that I'm rubbish at, that are affecting my wellbeing in a different way. And yes, it's occasionally annoying, but he has a positive intention that I can recognize.

@XenoBitch

Why wait for one day (a birthday) to show you are worried about his health? You can bring it up at any time.

Good point- giving it as a birthday present says “I’m worried about you- but I don’t want to spend extra”.

It's not that I don't think a health check would be a good idea, it is but not it's not a birthday present.

Imagine if a man organise a breast cancer screening and a smear test for a woman's birthday. There would be LTB comments everywhere.

Presents are supposed to be fun. This will not be fun.

Woah, who said romance is dead.

Having other presents as well would not make this better.

Don't do it OP. I would mention his health if you're worried however ultimately it's up to him isn't it?

Let's say you got him the tests and he did them and was told he needed to lose weight, get fitter etc - is he actually going to do this? will he just expect you to organise the food for his 'diet' etc? Nah just leave it and just get him the other gifts you've planned.

Of course you can't get him that for his birthday!

If my DH ever did that for me, I would be really upset and angry, tbh.

I asked my DH what he would think if I bought him one for his birthday and his face didn't suggest he'd be pleased.....

That's a bloody awful present idea!

Oof, no. No, no, no, no, no. Terrible idea

Buy him the health check if you like but do not associate it with his birthday. That's honestly quite cruel especially since he is worried about friends having heart attacks etc. Reminds me of 'Doctor' Gillian McKeith doing thise sadistic surprise visits where she'd show an overweight bride to be her wedding car, but it was really a hearse covered in all the calorific foods she liked eating. Psychological trauma isn't the best weight loss tool! Don't do it

“Happy birthday, Darling. Here’s a trip to the doctor so he can test your cardiovascular fitness and feel your balls and prostate. Play your cards right and I’ll get you a barium enema for Christmas.”

I would love this as a gift but I suffer from health anxiety so

That is not a birthday present.

@Wiredforsound

“Happy birthday, Darling. Here’s a trip to the doctor so he can test your cardiovascular fitness and feel your balls and prostate. Play your cards right and I’ll get you a barium enema for Christmas.”

Yep, or this health check reveals a cancer. Happy Birthday!

Im in the minority here! Im a woman and would love a private woman's health screening 😂 I'd think it meant I was cared for and they wanted to make sure I'm fighting fit and healthy. Good health is the best gift anyone will ever have in life.

@Bluegreensomething

If I were him, and read this thread, I'd dump you so fast that you'd need a time machine to observe my exit.

Remove judgement, stress and a lot of dead weight in one fell swoop.

This made me laugh, going to use that line myself...

@Wiredforsound

“Happy birthday, Darling. Here’s a trip to the doctor so he can test your cardiovascular fitness and feel your balls and prostate. Play your cards right and I’ll get you a barium enema for Christmas.”

WTF?! Why would you think this was in any way acceptable?

Doesn’t matter whichever way you dress it up op that is a shit birthday present! A sure fire way to bring a downer on what should otherwise be a happy occasion!