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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To worry about dp's anxiety over the Ukraine/Russia situation?

7 replies

squashedalmondcroissant · 02/03/2022 16:51

Dp is great but is quite an anxious person and gets worried and worked up about things in the world relatively easily. Since the news broke about the situation in Ukraine he has been quite on edge and admitted he has been watching the news/ reading articles about it almost constantly when he's home and I'm at work. He said he'd been watching so much about it it's really getting to him and taking a toll, he had to stop the other day as it was making him so upset.

On the one hand I'm glad he is so empathetic and sensitive but I'm worried that he's going to wreck his mental health by constantly feeding the anxiety and looking at a stream of negative things. It's important to remain informed and do what we can but I also think it's not doing him any good to be SO involved with it to the point where he feels horribly guilty living his life and being 'normal'.

How do I help him? It's all a bit alien to me as I tend not to worry about things I have no control over. It's not that I don't care but I just approach it in a very different way and I don't know what to say.

OP posts:
MagicFox · 02/03/2022 18:31

Bumping this for you as my husband would say the same about me!

ssd · 02/03/2022 18:34

Yes I'm exactly the same as your dh @squashedalmondcroissant

In fact i thought it was a woman thing, as dh is the opposite. Hearing your dh is like me makes me realise its a people thing.
But im glad you're trying to help him. I feel dh is getting tired of my anxiety and worries.

SnackSizeRaisin · 02/03/2022 18:34

He needs to stop watching or reading about it all the time. And divert his mind to other things. Keep busy with exercise, hobbies, socialising, work instead.

PollyPepper · 02/03/2022 19:01

My DH is the same. Maybe he could set limits on his screen time? Kind of like a child I know but the problem is we all get our news right in our hands now, it's not like a newspaper where you can pick it up, read it, and the next day its something different when you've had time to divest yesterday's, you can refresh BBC news every 10 minutes at the moment and it will show something different and more shocking than last time.

Is he getting any help for his anxiety? My husband is on citalopram which seems to help.

Frazzled2207 · 02/03/2022 19:05

A few years ago my dh was similar about a different issue. It really got to him to the point that he sadly had a breakdown.

He saw a therapist for a few months. And ever since he has been involved as a volunteer with a pressure group that supports a relevant cause. He feels he’s doing something to help and that’s been really cathartic. He still gets worried about it but these days mostly deals with it and leads a normal life.

eglantine7 · 02/03/2022 19:06

I'm the same as your husband :(
Yes he has to step away from the news and distract himself for his own good which is what I did today.
I've donated some money towards help for Ukrainians but I feel very helpless and useless. Watching the reports and news makes me physically ill but I can't help it. I'm making an effort to distract myself.
It's a horrifying situation and feel powerless as a person and the fact our countries cannot step in because of the fear of being dragged into a nuclear war. This is what makes it so awful the fact the Ukrainians have to fight on their own.

Frazzled2207 · 02/03/2022 19:06

On a rather more straightforward note just a bit of willpower to stop watching the news and delete Twitter will do the world of good.

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