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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Who gets the treats?

63 replies

Coolcoolcool · 02/03/2022 16:22

Please help settle a marital debate.
I’m currently wfh. Husband is in the office. He gets frustrated when I eat more than my ‘share’ of treats from our cupboard whilst at home e.g. I had more mini eggs out of the tube than he did, or yesterday I finished off a pot of posh yoghurt, when he had only had a little bit. AIBU to think that because I wfh I am going to be eating proportionately more food in the house than he is? He obviously buys lunch when he’s at the office and I don’t lay claim to 50% of that! We share finances equally so it’s not a money thing.
So
YABU - save the treats for a 50:50 allocation
YANBU - he can buy his own mini eggs!

(Probs should be eating less treats in general, but that’s a whole other thread 😂)

OP posts:

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 02/03/2022 16:43

My Dh tries to hide snacks just for him!

I always find them and make sure l scoff more than l would normally to stop him being a twat. Dd aids me in this.

Fairyliz · 02/03/2022 16:44

tbh I would try and eat healthily at home during the day and share treats when you are both at home at the weekends/evenings.

I know from bitter experience how easy it is to get use to regular treats when you are at home and they are in the cupboard calling your name.

mrsm43s · 02/03/2022 16:50

FFS just buy more treats. The amount of treats being bought in the weekly shop is clearly not adequate if someone is still left wanting treats.

I'd have fruit bowl and snack box set up in your home office, that you buy for in addition to the snacks that you regularly buy as part of the normal weekly shop. Move these things over to your home office on the day the shopping arrives, so they don't form part of the general household stores. He can also add fruit/treats to the weekly shop to be taken into his office if he likes, but presumably he'd prefer to buy on a day by day basis.

JellybabyGina87 · 02/03/2022 16:50

Not something we think about let alone argue about. People just eat what they want in the house. DH buys things for himself that only he really likes but he wouldn't be bothered if someone ate one.

RealRaymondReddington · 02/03/2022 16:52

Clearly you need his and hers mini eggs.

irishfarmer · 02/03/2022 16:56

Buy more and keep then in your desk draw. I WFH and DH says I hide sweets in my drawer, yes I do! We don't have a strict (or any) policy/ policing of who eats what by any means but it really annoys me if I buy a 12 pack of crisps and multipack of chocolate in the weekly shop, only to look of 1 during the week to find the whole lot gone, days before the next shop is due!! So now when the shopping arrives I stash a little away in my office :)

Fernandina · 02/03/2022 16:58

Is he complaining that you wfh means you use more than your fair share of toilet rolls?

Thought not.

He's a grown-up. He can go and buy more sweet treats if he wants them, the prat.

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 02/03/2022 17:01

I think this is a really hard one!

If I opened a pack of mini eggs, they would call to me all day and it would be impossible for me not to eat them all.

On the other hand, if I was looking forward to some mini eggs when I got in and dh had eaten them all I might have a (light-hearted) grump and send him out to get me more!

I think it depends how serious he is and how petty it is. I work in a school so there's often treats of some sort. It would definitely BU if I started moaning about dh wfh finishing a yoghurt! Mostly I'd just expect one of us to pop to the shop if we really wanted something.

Cakelover17 · 02/03/2022 17:01

You sound just like my 4 and 7 year old buy separate treats - a tube of mini eggs each, oh and grow up!

SartresSoul · 02/03/2022 17:02

Buy a mini egg pack each, problem solved.

Beautiful3 · 02/03/2022 17:04

Buy separate treats. We all have our own for the week, I bag up half uneaten treats and write on them in sharpie pen, who it belongs to.

PinkSyCo · 02/03/2022 17:08

The obvious solution is to buy extra treats that you squirrel away so that you have your own secret stash. I thought everyone did that!

godmum56 · 02/03/2022 17:09

I'd mind if there were none left for me because the other person had eaten them all...same as I'd mind if they had used up all the milk/coffee etcetera and not made sure there was some left or replaced it. I don't think that WFH is an excuse.

MintyGreenDream · 02/03/2022 17:10

I really really want some mini eggs

affairsofdragons · 02/03/2022 17:12

Tell him when he starts making packed lunches to save money, as you're essentially doing, then he can complain about your lunches at home.

FFS

TravellingFrom · 02/03/2022 17:15

@Coolcoolcool

We both have our petty moments to be fair 😂

Yes he could buy his own treats, but he would rather rely on me to get them in the weekly shop…

Why? He can’t buy them when he is buying his own lunch? Or ion his way back from work, at the weekend etc….?

Having said that, our rule in the house is that if you want something in the weekly shop, you have to write it in the white board (where I out all the stuff that needs to bought/replaced, (Eg jar if spice, salt running out etc…)

Jvg33 · 02/03/2022 17:17

My children have eaten all the treats. Oh well. Next week there will be another chance. I'm not going to be annoyed about it.

Crunchymum · 02/03/2022 17:17

Depends, if I was relying on something being available for me to have and someone else has eaten it all - that is shit

if someone has get a few more of something than I do - no problem

Just don't leave me treat-less

TravellingFrom · 02/03/2022 17:19

@godmum56

You see I think it depends.

If there is little coffee left, I’m not expecting the person wfh to do Wo coffee so I can have one coming back home. It’s something everyone uses. If there has been an issue with ordering/forgetting to buy some, the. We will just go buy some at the corner shop.

I could understand better the ‘posh yogurt’ whatever that is but only if very clearly BOTH people are keen on it. And I’d review i we shouodnt be buying more of that.

The chocolate eggs? Fgs, that’s just petty and childish. He can buy some himself!!

FantasticFebruary · 02/03/2022 17:19

If he's complaining you had MORE than him, he's being pathetic, if he's complaining you ate them all & there were none left when he fancied some, he's not.

I currently live alone, but I can't remember any of this drama with any of my Ex's - and by Christ some of them were petty/munchers/selfish.

I grew up knowing treats were to be shared & only to have your fair share & at least don't eat the last one if you're being a bit greedy!

So so many threads about this lately!! Makes the downsides of living alone seem worth it frankly!! (Especially with a FWB!!)

WouldIwasShookspeared · 02/03/2022 17:20

Each have your own box of treats. When they're gone they're gone.
I did that with my kids because they'd squabble over them.

girlmom21 · 02/03/2022 17:20

Why are people getting so angry over this thread?

OP I started buying 2 of everything but specifically buying two large blocks of chocolate he doesn't like

SpicePumpkin · 02/03/2022 17:22

Have separate treat boxes is the way forward here. I wouldn't share mini eggs though.

I have a husband who eats the last of everything or who eats my yoghurts before I've even had chance and to be honest it's fucking annoying as hell. I don't like the same flavour he likes, he apparently likes all flavours though!

Starbonnet123 · 02/03/2022 17:24

My ex used to be like this , he also used to take his share out of the weekly shopping that I'd paid for and put it in "his" cupboard that me and the children weren't allowed to touch x

TravellingFrom · 02/03/2022 17:24

I grew up knowing treats were to be shared & only to have your fair share & at least don't eat the last one if you're being a bit greedy!

I don’t think I’ve ever done that with my dcs. Because I’ve never felt there was any need.
Like everyone, they have slightly different taste. The cupboard was open to all (Incl adults) so everyone is eating what they fancy.
There has never been the situation where someone was grumbling that A had more than B because it wasn’t relevant! No discussion about ‘but there isn’t any of A left’ because well, no there isn’t. There will be some next week. And everyone at some point will have finished a packet.
There has never been a fight to get to the ‘best snacks before it disappears’ etc either.

I don’t know. For me it’s a strange way to approach things.

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