Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to dread going to the doctor for my haemorrhoid problem?

107 replies

TurkishDelight57 · 02/03/2022 15:21

this post might be TMI

After two years of procrastinating, I’m finally going to a specialist for my little haemorrhoid problem. The bleeding has become alarming, and it’s scaring me now. I feel like I’ve put it off long enough. Can someone please tell me what the examination at the specialist involves? There aren’t any female specialists in my area so I’ve been referred to a male doctor. That does make it sightly more embarrassing for me, I won’t lie! What exactly does the whole visit involve? How painful/embarrassing is it? I might also need to have a rectal biopsy (which sounds terrifying), does anyone have first hand experience that they can share?

I’ve had the issue for over two years now- started when I became constipated due to some medications I was taking. There was blood every time I wiped (sorry, TMI), but I kept ignoring it thinking it was normal and would go away. Well- it hasn’t. The bleeding has just gotten worse, the pain isn’t unbearable by any means, but it’s worse than before. And there’s a constant itchiness/discomfort. I’ve tried OTC remedies and they did help, I’m very tempted to just carry on with those and avoid going to the doctor Blush

OP posts:
TurkishDelight57 · 03/03/2022 00:48

@RyvitaBrevis I mentioned anxiety. I mentioned therapy, I mentioned medication for anxiety. The point is- I don’t need to mention either abuse or anxiety, because it my body and therefore my choice. And nobody gets to pass judgement on that for any reason.

OP posts:
Bagadverts · 03/03/2022 00:58

You should always feel free to ask students are not present. I’ve had a lot of treatments and generally don’t mind them but we aren’t just mannequins or dolls, we have feelings. That should be respected fully. I hope things go well.

I agree with you about some doctors and other professionals try to minimise what you are going through. It may be routine for them, but it may be the only time I encounter it. I think it would be good if medical students had the option to have some of the tests performed on them if they haven’t. Definitely the things that happen at routine screening, should feel what it is like in scanners (even if there is no actual scan and radiation). Lie in a hospital bed and see what it’s like when someone stands at the end of your bed and how different it is in a gown in bed to being on the other side.

DoorWasAJar · 03/03/2022 01:11

[quote TurkishDelight57]@Cherryblossoms85 so sorry to hear you’re suffering too SadFlowers I’m going (probably going, still not fully convinced) just in case it’s cancer. Otherwise, I’d live with it, it’s nowhere near as painful as endometriosis which I most probably have (I say most probably because apparently to even diagnose endometriosis they need to do a laparoscopy Hmm Cutting myself open to diagnose (not even fix) a condition that has no cure? No thank you. I’ll pass Angry

You’d think they would have come up with something less invasive in this day and age right??! Like a high resolution CT scan or something, which doesn’t need to go up people’s bum Fhs. Do they possibly enjoy torturing us with discomfort and humiliation? I wonder sometimes![/quote]
Interesting you mention this, IIRC they made a non invasive test for prostate cancer because men were avoiding the examination...

DoorWasAJar · 03/03/2022 01:12

Women are made for rooting around inside of, why make less invasive options?

DoorWasAJar · 03/03/2022 01:14

OP, thought you might appreciate this, women and hysteria through the ages:

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3480686/

Have you seen the Cumberlege report: First Do No Harm? On how women are second class citizens in healthcare.

violet232 · 03/03/2022 01:19

Bless you OP Flowers

Try not to overthink, I know it’s bloody hard. Google symptoms and it’s cancer, bleed from the bottom and we assume it’s cancer, find a lump and we think it’s cancer! I’ve had multiple scares myself and it’s a terrible dark hole to fall into. It’s like we all naturally assume the worse!

Deep breathes you’ve got this, wishing you all the best Flowers x

DoorWasAJar · 03/03/2022 01:32

@KLH87

You could make your own "colorectal dignity shorts" (yes that's really what they are labelled as!) by cutting a hole in a pair of boxer shorts. That's what I would do if I needed a colonoscopy/flexi.

Not a nice thought getting examined I know OP, but you need it looking at, hopefully it is just piles.

This is a brilliant idea.
DoorWasAJar · 03/03/2022 01:44

www.theguardian.com/society/2021/mar/11/bowel-cancer-screening-capsules-the-latest-in-at-home-care-trend

I saw on Amazon endoscopy mini cameras you can hook up to your phone to view for DIY enthusiasts 😦

DoorWasAJar · 03/03/2022 01:46

@TellOrNot1981

I had surgery on piles a few years ago.

I remember at the consultation the doctor put a rocket shaped torch up my bum, that’s my overriding memory. The consultation really wasn’t terrible, the doctor will have seen thousands of bumholes and it’s not really that awkward.

I had halo surgery which was good for about 2 years and solved the problem. But then the piles returned and now I just live with it and eat as much fibre as I can.

The colonoscopy was my least favourite part, I really didn’t enjoy the sensation of that and felt a bit traumatised afterwards. My advice is if they offer you sedation for that, take it.

I recommend big Magnesium Glycinate doses, it really helps constipation and heals haemorrhoids.
DoorWasAJar · 03/03/2022 01:49

@50DaysAF

My friends DH got Botox injected into his anus (?) to help this problem. Too early to say if successful or not but the issue he had was the scarring. Every time he had a hard stool the whole lot ripped open again. He’s on a low dose laxative permanently as well.
Please tell you friend to look into Magnesium supplementation (high dose Glycinate) as most people are terribly deficient, it really works for constipation and healing haemorrhoids.
TurkeyRoastvBubbleandSqueek · 03/03/2022 02:44

I have read all your posts OP, but only the first page of replies, so I apologise if I say something already covered.

Some blood tests can show whether it is more likely that you have a cancer or not. The ones that can do this won't necessarily be able to say what type of cancer you have, just that something unusual is going on.

The only way that they can be sure that your symptoms are not caused by a cancer is by looking at the area your symptoms suggest is the problem. In your case the only way they can do this is by at first inserting a finger a little way into your anus to see if they can feel anything obvious - they use lots of lubrication on their finger, it feels strange, and a little uncomfortable, but here are no sharp pains or anything. I was extremely embarrassed before having mine done, worrying about them getting a finger covered in faeces. We, as the patients, just have to face the embarrassment I am afraid. The Dr's are very used to doing this, they wear gloves, after all they chose this category of health care as their speciality. The Dr's face does not go near to your bottom to watch what he or she is doing, they will stay standing up while they do the digital (finger) exam by feel, so they certainly don't get a close up view of your genitals. It is nothing like where a medic has to peer into one's vagina for a smear test.

If the doctor could't tell by the digital exam whether it is one or more simple haemorrhoids causing your symptoms, he or she will make another appointment for you to have the last part of your large colon examined thoroughly, by using a very well lubricated tiny camera, inserted into your large colon, through your anus. As you describe you blood as bright red after having opened your bowels, he or she will almost certainly only have to examine the first part of the bowel that they come to through your anus. This is because if there is a problem higher up, the blood tends to be occult (occult only means hidden, it has no supernatural meanings at all). Occult blood may be observed by anyone who is examining faeces, seeing tarry looking stools, or just very dark to black stools. However, dark or tarry looking stools can be caused by lots of other things, including what you have eaten in the past few days. So anyone presenting with dark stools would be asked to collect some of them in a stool sample jar, which then needs to be examined under a microscope to see if it is in fact blood that it contains.

Anyway, I think you said that yours is red and flows more like a period. So like I said before, you probably won't have to have too much of your bowels examined. When I had this done - in a private facility, but paid for by the NHS - I was offered paper pants which have a convenient hole in them in the right place, and I was also offered I sedative.

They usually slip the sedative into a vein on the top of your hand, which only feels like a sharp prick (I know they are supposed to say scratch, but it always feels more like a prick to me!). The sedative doesn't actually send you to sleep, but it pleasantly relaxes you, and a lot of people afterwards can't remember anything about what procedure they just had. Again the doctor doesn't stay down by your bottom, he will probably be sitting down on a stool, but he will be watching what just looks like a TV screen, situated somewhere above you. He does not need to look at your bottom, but he does have to concentrate on the screen. If he doesn't see anything questionable, or some sore looking areas, he will probably give you the all clear, if he does see something that might be of some concern he will take a quick biopsy.

Unfortunately OP, the only way he or any other Dr or scientist, etc can tell for certain if you have a cancer is by doing these tests. Even private practitioners will not do more tests than are actually needed. Please go for whatever tests are advised OP, if they turn out to be negative, rejoice at that outcome, don't feel hard done by because you had them in the first place. Your severe embarrassment is understandable, to let it stop you having any advised tests is not.

Before you go for your endoscopy (I am just calling it that as I can't be certain how much of your bowels they will need to examine) you will probably have to take a rather disgusting drink for 2 to 3 days beforehand to clean your bowels (so that the camera can see all of its surface). It is not a bitter taste as such, it is more an unpleasant taste and texture, but that might well have improved in recent years.

FleurDeLizz · 03/03/2022 04:35

I’m all sorted now, but I had the same symptoms as you op enough blood for it to be like a period every time I went to the toilet as one of mine had thrombosed.

Colonoscopy itself isn’t that bad but having the haemorrhoids surgically removed - I’m glad they’re gone but the recovery is horrific so don’t let them shove you into that option if it’s not what you want

DespairingHomeowner · 03/03/2022 08:38

Re the colorectal dignity shorts - could just take a piece of cloth (large hanky, a T-shirt etc) and drape it to cover what needs covering? I think that’s what I’d do myself

Btw : the doctors attention will be on the task on hand, not looking at the rest of you

Davros · 03/03/2022 10:27

DoorWasAjar none of that treatment will be any use for cancer. First step is to find it if it is "just piles"

BasiliskStare · 03/03/2022 11:34

If you are going privately I would be surprised if they do not give you a big pair of baggy heavy paper shorts with a pleat in the back - so nothing can be seen except where they need to see it - not even the rest of your bottom.

I can understand that you may be anxious for other reasons but if a consultant has said this is the right procedure I am not sure they are in the business of making stuff up.

@TurkeyRoastvBubbleandSqueek 's post is great. My doctor certainly spent more time looking at the screen than me & the sedative did not "knock me out" but I just found I was rather interested rather than scared There was a nurse next to me and one more in the room who was making sure all photos were taken properly & I had a biopsy which confirmed my diagnosis ( which could not have been done via a scan)
Also you are on your side with a knee drawn up which does feel more private even without the paper modesty pants

But good luck to you and best wishes & I hope you can have the procedure . Flowers

CousinKrispy · 03/03/2022 11:53

Good for you for getting it checked out, OP, it's definitely worth making sure it's not cancer.

All the many medical professionals I've had poking extensively at my bum for a similar issue over the past few years have been really lovely and reassuring and professional. I know it won't be easy for you, but just like dental work, it's worth it.

TurkishDelight57 · 03/03/2022 12:44

@TurkeyRoastvBubbleandSqueek thank you Flowers. Your post helped me understand why the more invasive tests might be necessary and the way you explained it makes complete sense.

With regards to the colonoscopy, maybe all those who have had it can answer- is it true that you can have only liquids for three days prior? If that’s the case, I wouldn’t even last 3 hours. I’m very used to small but frequent meals a day and I have other gastro related medical issues which make it impossible for me to fast like that. And the laxatives - do they expect me to take a whole day off work just to sit by the toilet? While starving? And all this for a procedure that won’t even treat the problem, it’ll diagnose something that most likely isn’t even there. Just seems like way too much effort, stress and discomfort for what it’s trying to achieve, but maybe that’s just me in a really bad mood.

OP posts:
TurkishDelight57 · 03/03/2022 12:49

@DespairingHomeowner nurses in my experience are notoriously unsympathetic and uncooperative when it comes to patients tweaking any part of the process to their needs. It’s a bit of a “computer says no” attitude. For example- I was having a pelvic MRI and wanted to keep my sports bra on (which has no metal or plastic in it whatsoever) but the answer was “No the radiologist always says to take EVERYTHING off” Why? They’re not scanning my breasts? So I’d rather not have them hanging about and poking through the hospital gown? But it’s pointless arguing with them because they either become impatient or patronising. So anyway, what I’m trying to say is, I don’t think me using my own modesty attire will fly nor do I have the energy to argue with them over it because it will just prolong an experience I want to be over before it’s even started.

OP posts:
KLH87 · 03/03/2022 14:42

With regards to the colonoscopy, maybe all those who have had it can answer- is it true that you can have only liquids for three days prior? If that’s the case, I wouldn’t even last 3 hours. I’m very used to small but frequent meals a day and I have other gastro related medical issues which make it impossible for me to fast like that. And the laxatives - do they expect me to take a whole day off work just to sit by the toilet? While starving? And all this for a procedure that won’t even treat the problem, it’ll diagnose something that most likely isn’t even there. Just seems like way too much effort, stress and discomfort for what it’s trying to achieve, but maybe that’s just me in a really bad mood.

For moviprep, you usually stop eating the afternoon before your appointment, say at 5pm and then drink the prep in the evening the night before, and finish it early in the morning of your appointment, so you shouldn't need a day off to take the prep. But for bright red bleeding I would expect that the specialist recommends a flexible sigmoidoscopy rather than a whole colonoscopy. That usually just needs an enema beforehand, and you should get the option to do it yourself, either at home before leaving or at the unit. You are usually advised not to eat for 6 hours beforehand, so requesting a first appointment might help you.

Shame that you've not had good experiences with nurses so far, hopefully if you do need any procedures you will have a better experience.

CourtRand · 03/03/2022 14:53

@RyvitaBrevis

How else are medical students supposed to learn? Seriously? I think you need to grow up a little. Smh
That's not fair. Students can learn from those who allow them to. Everyone has a right to choose privacy as their own needs dictate.

OP have you thought about counselling? Your revulsion etc makes me think you may have some medical trauma? If not just try and push through asserting your boundaries and dignity as necessary.

TurkishDelight57 · 03/03/2022 15:20

@KLH87 thank you, that’s somewhat reassuring. Although I’ve never had an enema in my life, nor do I want to. I’ll definitely be doing it myself, if it comes to that.

@CourtRand

i am currently getting therapy and also on anti anxiety and anti depressant medication.
I’m just a very private person I suppose, and a control freak- I dislike being in situations where I feel forced either by people or circumstances. And I’m definitely not doing any of this with genuine consent, it’s only so that my close family will get off my back about the cancer possibility and to some extent for peace of mind. I’d rather be doing pretty much anything else, even a smear test or visit to the dentist is infinitely preferable than this nonsense humiliation.

So many people people have already seen my bits thanks to my innumerable gynae issues that I just feel disgusted now. Almost like I’m a piece of meat, free for all? Like my body doesn’t belong to me anymore. I know it sounds dramatic but it’s how I feel.

OP posts:
BasiliskStare · 03/03/2022 19:15

@TurkishDelight57 - I had a colonoscopy - it was light lunch the day before - you can have clear liquids ( which I believe include e.g. chicken stock so you may feel a little hungry but you can drink clear liquids - what I was told is no ribena ) or anything red because it messes up the process. )

In all honesty I had a difficult birth and doctors have seen more of me than Dh has but I can honestly assure you when I had this procedure it did not feel like I was a "piece of meat" - Only you will know but seriously I skipped out - by which I mean happy - I did not leave early - because I felt they had done it so respectfully & it didn't hurt and they saw what they needed to.

When I agreed to mine the Doctor / consultant said - we need to do this & I said this would not be my leisure activity of choice - he laughed but I cannot emphasise enough how much less intrusive it felt than I thought and how very considerate and nice people were. At no point did I feel like a piece of meat.

You must make your own decision - but just one experience.

Rainartist · 03/03/2022 19:28

@TurkishDelight57

What do they need to do a colonoscopy for usually? I thought they only did that to 50+ males BlushHmm Obviously I’m very uninformed. But whatever they do it for, unless it’s to diagnose cancer, my answer is a polite no
A colonoscopy excludes cancer, diverticular disease, inflammatory bowel disease(Crohn's & colitis), polyps (which can turn cancerous) it wouldn't be done lightly, so ease don't refuse if the doctor thinks it's necessary.

I understand where you're coming from having just seen the GP this week for the same reason. Like you I left it a long time but had a lot of blood and thought I'd better go after telling DH and him nagging me. I'm dreading the colonoscopy but it's a necessary evil.

Hope you get sorted.

Rainartist · 03/03/2022 19:40

Op if you really can't bear the thought of a colonoscopy and you're paying private could you ask for a CT colonoscopy as a first step? It will obviously i volve a radiation dose but if your anxiety and fear is very high and you disclose you've had experience of abuse (I hadn't read that post when I replied before) the Dr is more likely to make an adjustment in protocol to accommodate the most appropriate care pathway.

The CT would exclude gross pathology and give a first impression but there is no opportunity to take biopsies as there would be with the colonoscopy, so you may need that done at a later date.

itsbritneybitch92 · 03/03/2022 19:55

OP be careful taking medical advice from the Internet