To not want to do it?

[Ohsacrebleu]

Got married a few months ago. Due to covid and bereavements, some people couldn’t attend, including many of DHs aunts and uncles. PIL want us to have another event for everyone who couldn’t go seeing as they gave cards and gifts, but since then we’ve recently had another bereavement on my side and I’m not really feeling like another event and neither are my family. I of course feel bad that people couldn’t attend. They said it won’t cost us more than a couple hundred but I also think that if you’re organising another get together, it should be as good as the day they missed so I think it’s only fair if we did it we’d buy everyone a drink too and do more than just finger food etc. I’m also worried it looks a bit grabby to hold another event as well. WIBU to leave our wedding day in the past and send out thank you cards instead?

YANBU you've had your wedding and that's that.

We had a brilliant garden party for our 1 year anniversary. I enjoyed it more than the wedding 🙈 Everyone who came to the wedding was invited plus more, I had a great dress, we had a cake & DH and I both said a few words. It was like a wedding but so stress free and just fun!! Can you suggest a compromise with a plan for a great anniversary celebration?

To me having a second party looks worse than not having one.

People will think you're cheeky because they'll assume you're expecting more gifts.

I'd actually find it very odd if I was invited to some strange second wedding reception after the actual day. I've never heard of such a thing.

If someone wants a family get together then that person can obviously go ahead and arrange one.

Perhaps suggest that to your PIL. They could arrange and host it themselves as it's something they want.

I'm sorry for your recent losses.

Don't feel pressured to do something that you're not comfortable with. My brother and sil got married in Australia on a gap year. They had a garden party to celebrate their one year anniversary. It was lovely. Perhaps that is something that you could consider instead?

Sorry for your loss

I would look at DH and say
"I have said no I don't want to do it. You nagging me isn't going to change my mind. The answer is no"

And then walk away every time he brings it up. Also Say the Same to MIL

@Ohsacrebleu

DH said they said it looks bad if we don’t hold something for people to come to. Does it?

No. Just ignore their demands, tell him to stop making himself look bad .