For thinking I'm too insecure and needy for this relationship

[pinkchocolate101]

Been with partner for years 2 years and in that time he generally makes me feel good about myself. He tells me every day I'm beautiful and he loves me and no one compares, I'm perfect just the way in an etc......then he goes on instagram and likes half naked girls with bodies I'll never have without surgery. It makes me feel like shit because I've hated my body for 15 years and I'm in my 30s now. It's not just the liking the photos because the girls are pretty - I don't want mutual people who know us both to see that he is publicly ogling these women. I find it embarrassing and a man who loves and respects his partner doesn't do that, in my eyes.

I have raised this before and he said he will stop and came with the whole, I'm perfect, no one can compare, they could have the biggest bum and tits etc but they have nothing on me - but why does he still do it? I think he thinks I won't know but I've had one case where one of those woman have started to follow my business page - and I saw my partner had liked every single one of her bikini shots. I felt like a Dickhead. I get other people are attractive but I feel like you can admire them in your head.

I caught him 6 months ago message a girl he used to see saying he missed her after he replied to a selfie. I think this showed me that he is still a guy after all and all men are capable of cheating. I honestly thought he loved me so much he wouldn't do that up to that point. (This is what happened with my ex also). Just before that incident we had a big bust up and we're going on a break - that's his excuse he was in a dark place.

I don't feel reassured. This latest situation with him liking womens almost naked photos has been on my head since yesterday, I've been so upset! Am I too insecure for this relationship to actually work? Am I controlling by telling him what he can't like on instagram. Is he being unreasonable?

You’re not too insecure for the relationship, he’s too much of a pervy sleazebucket. Get rid. There’s nothing wrong with you.

I think he's a creepy misogynistic letch, what is the appeal of him ogling other women like that?

You don't need to worry about what other people think about it. You need to tell him it's not good enough FOR YOU.

Of course you are not too insecure ... he sounds like an immature teenager. Get rid.

He’s cheated on you so of course you’re insecure about whether he’s there for you or not

You’re not the problem

I just don't know where the line gets drawn though. I've gotten mad at him before for liking girls pictures who I know he was into before he got into me. She's a smart talented and pretty woman - I get the appeal. Is that ok for for a man in a relationship to do? Or not? I just don't know what's reasonable and what isn't.

I'm not trying to imprison him, and dictate what he can and can't do but I think it boils down too that fact I'm just so damaged and have a big lack of confidence and trust issues. I had a c-section so will never look good naked or in a bikini - obviously he says I look lovely - but compared to those girls I don't. I'm not blind - but it not their fault I hate my body.

You're not insecure, you're with a creepy letch.

Leave the ogling cheat and find someone better.

I never get these situations — who are these people? The ones who post photos in their pants, and the men who ‘like’ them? I have several close male friends and a DH of many years, all of whom are active on SM and have lots of female friends who are likewise active. No one posts underwear selfies or seeks them out.

You're not insecure and needy.

There are behaviours that you think are unacceptable and your partner ignores that. He is not the right partner for you. You can end the relationship for whatever reason you want without being critical of yourself in the process.

You don't have to have a perfect body to be loved. It's not a competition. If you look around, women are loved by their partners whether they're fat or thin, old or young, plain or pretty. And a kind and loving partner wouldn't want to make you feel inadequate. Those females probably wouldn't give him a second glance. What an idiot.

This kind of thing makes me feel old! I get that it is something some men seem to do these days. But personally I don't think it's okay for anyone to be "liking" random semi-naked strangers on the internet, especially when their partner and others can see they are doing it.

My partner doesn't do it and I would really dislike it if he did. I don't think of myself as insecure but this would make me feel insecure and I would also think it was really disrespectful.

In a non-internet world I think this would be the equivalent of your partner walking down the street with you and blatantly ogling other women or shouting "phwoar look at her".