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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Completely lost / sick leave?

26 replies

21butterflies · 02/03/2022 07:23

Just feel a bit lost at the moment and have no idea what to do.

So I’m suffering from really bad burnout and my job has been really bad for me. On top of that my back has been in agony, made worse by the stress and burnout, and yesterday a chiropractor told me I have an elevated first rib and I’m waiting on X-ray results to determine if there’s anything more serious going on.

The last week or so I’ve been crying non stop, due to both stress and my back pain. Ive been looking for a new job and have one interview lined up but my notice period is still two months. I’ve just been sitting at work constantly adjusting in agony and also just sitting in silence struggling to get anything done and not being productive.

I’m having to get 2 mornings off work for chiropractor and a mental health assessment. I’ve been thinking of taking sick leave but I don’t know if my reasons are valid or not? Plus I feel guilty and also SSP is terrible and I can’t really afford it?

Just feeling so lost and unwell right now to be honest

OP posts:
Girlintheframe · 02/03/2022 07:33

Definitely take sick leave! Your health is the most important thing!
Sounds like you need to get your back sorted but also need some rest and down time.

Original poster
21butterflies · 02/03/2022 07:59

I just feel guilty and also statutory sick pay is awful! I can’t afford it on top of chiropractor fees 😭

OP posts:
wingscrow · 02/03/2022 08:06

Can you ask to work from home as a reasonable adjustment while you are dealing with the physical pain? you could get supporting letters from your health team to give HR/your manager.

If not I would definitely go on sick leave and use this time to find a new job. You can also technically give your notice while on sick leave once you have found something.

No need to feel guilty. Your health should be your top priority.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 02/03/2022 08:12

Have work done a risk assessment if doing your job means you're sitting there in agony?

Original poster
21butterflies · 02/03/2022 08:22

It’s pretty hard to work from home as I’m a healthcare worker and my job is quite physical in the sense that it doesn’t work too well over zoom etc.
And there’s not much work can do as I work at different sites and the job isn’t very physically demanding

I just feel guilty as for example right now as I’ve just woken up my back isn’t hurting that much yet so I feel like it’s a poor excuse? And that I’m being dramatic taking leave for burnout and a bad back?
I am starting to feel depressed and empty and it’s having such a bad impact on my relationships too

OP posts:
Original poster
21butterflies · 02/03/2022 08:41

It’s starting to affect me and DP as I feel so numb but I just don’t know if I’m being dramatic about it

OP posts:
CapitanSandy · 02/03/2022 08:54

Health should always come first. Back problems are awful so I wouldn’t force yourself to work and potentially make yourself worse.

What would you say to a friend if they were feeling the way you are now?

FusionChefGeoff · 02/03/2022 08:55

You sound really poorly Sad both mentally and physically.

If your GP doesn't think you're ill they won't sign you off. But I'm 100% sure they will if you showed them this thread.

Original poster
21butterflies · 02/03/2022 09:38

I do feel poorly ☹️ I do feel like burnout has just come crashing down and it’s impacting my ability to do self care and also my relationship, I just don’t know if it’s good enough reasoning and I can’t afford it either

OP posts:
sweetbellyhigh · 02/03/2022 09:44

You are so unwell that you have lost sight of what matters. What good is life if it is just something to survive? Raise your standards.

Take sick leave for at least one week. I know the low pay worries you but the bigger concern is the cost of continuing as you are. You're in the sort of condition that causes people to have accidents or do something daft that leads to job loss or traffic offence and so on.

Are you sure the chiropractor is making enough difference? What about an osteopath or a cranial sacral therapist? Once you've had a good session it may be that some daily stretches are enough to keep you feeling better.

Whatever you do please don't continue torturing yourself. You are allowed to look after yourself.

Fudgein · 02/03/2022 09:48

It sounds like your only option is to take some time off, be it annual leave or sick leave. In your position I would probably ask for annual leave for 2 weeks, see how you're feeling then go on to sick leave if you can't go back, that would give you 2 weeks to rest and see how you're feeling without worrying about your pay dropping. Things sound tough, take a break x

RedPanda17 · 02/03/2022 09:53

I've had 3 months off due to burnout. I didn't know how poorly I was until i took time out, i felt terribly guilty but you just have to forget work. Ultimately your health comes first. SSP is terrible but you do need the time.

Original poster
21butterflies · 02/03/2022 09:56

Thanks so much all, I can’t take annual leave as I work in education so only get half terms sadly Sad I just didn’t know whether I was being dramatic or silly. How do I go about getting sick leave? :/

OP posts:
LizDoingTheCanCan · 02/03/2022 10:00

You sign yourself off work for the first week, then your GP will issue a fit note for any time after that. Best to speak to your GP within the first week, so you're not scrambling about trying to get an appointment once you reach day seven.

Original poster
21butterflies · 02/03/2022 10:42

I haven’t started with a chiropractor yet, I had my initial appointment yesterday and they explained what was wrong and they had to do x-rays. They want me in first thing tomorrow morning to discuss the results and so I’m going to have to take another morning off work which I haven’t said about yet as I’m worried :/
I just don’t know how to approach everything going on at the minute

OP posts:
MissMaple82 · 02/03/2022 11:13

They are 100% valid!!! Please don't keep going, you need some time for self care and reflection. I am in a similar position. I'm on sick leave until I find another job

Original poster
21butterflies · 02/03/2022 11:18

Bless you @MissMaple82 sorry to hear, how are you holding up?
How are you spending your sick leave and are you finding it beneficial? ☺️

OP posts:
Original poster
21butterflies · 02/03/2022 11:44

I’m also nervous about approaching needing the morning off (probably the day as I work an hour from home as it is)

OP posts:
MissMaple82 · 02/03/2022 12:37

Absolutely im finding it beneficial I was at risk of having a stroke I was that stressed. It is really hard finding the strength to tell them you need time off, I don't have a particularly patient or understanding manager, so the anxiety that creates is immense. But you just need to take them first initial steps. I have had a welfare meeting and they were very understanding and I felt no pressure to return until im 100% ready. Sadly i just don't think the job is right for me anymore. Sometimes you've just got to put yourself and your health first. As you know, it pacts other areas of your life and relationships.

ThinWomansBrain · 02/03/2022 12:43

who did the MH assessment? - if via your GP, can you ask whether they can provide a fit note?

Check your contract of employment or employers policies to ascertain your entitlement to sick pay.

Original poster
21butterflies · 02/03/2022 12:49

It was through the GP they put me through to the local borough MH service. I mentioned it this morning and she said she isn’t allowed to give a note but my GP could do it.

I’m just nervous my reasoning isn’t good enough, like I’m very burnt out from my job and have back pain but is that worth not being paid and also running the risk of not recovering in the weeks I take off?

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 02/03/2022 12:59

Have you discussed your back with your GP? Getting a referral for physio would be free and the wait isn’t always horrendous. My experience of chiropractors ( I know one personally) is that they will show you the X-ray and tell you what they think is wrong and then recommend you see them three times a week for months on end.

Get an independent opinion (ie your GP) before spending money.

Certainly get signed off sick but as someone with a chronic back injury I do recommend you investigate your pain and treatment further .

whatisforteamum · 02/03/2022 13:25

OP sometimes one week is enough to see things differently. I say this as someone who is physically and mentally burnt out too from a relentless workload.

Original poster
21butterflies · 02/03/2022 13:41

I haven’t yet no, I think I will see what the chiropractor says tomorrow morning and go from there.

I just can’t seem to make a decision about leave! I’m at work atm and I feel slightly better and my back isn’t quite so intense today. Still not quite with it though and very unmotivated ☹️

OP posts:
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 02/03/2022 13:59

I’ve just had to take sick leave, it’s the first time I have done in 10+ years.

Due to covid and short staffing Ive worked 10-16 hr shifts only taking 1-2 days off per month (sometimes less) for the last 2 years.

Due to this I put my body under immense stress, I’m a mum of two very active boys, normal household activities and a business to run and was trying to do everything without downtime/breaks/looking after myself etc…

My body was showing signs that I needed to slow down however I ignored them and ended up with an illness that if I’d have looked after myself I could off avoided.

I was/am physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted and I’ve hated taking time off however something had to give.

I’m only 5 days in and I feel as if there’s a weight gone, I’m now struggling lead a normally life as it’s been so long since I’ve just sat with a cup of tea or eaten a meal without being in the go, it’s honestly truly refreshing.

If your sick your sick, be that physical, mental or emotionally, DON’T feel guilty, don’t continue to put YOUR health at RISK because it will catch up with you and be 100% worse and that’s no good to anyone, not yourself, your family or your employer.

Take a break it truly sounds as if your burnt out and your body is crying for help.