Would it be disrespectful to my partner to text someone I was seeing years ago

[000oooh]

I had feelings for him 4 or 5 years ago and I was seeing him a little on and off but never a relationship as he didn't want. Stayed as friends after but kinda fell out and didn't speak for a while, life moved on and made amends and haven't spoken to him for 3 years.
Doesn't attract me in the slightest anymore and I now see that a relationship would have been pretty awful.

Anyway pretty sure I saw him yesterday in the street but wasn't 100% sure. Wondered how he's doing and what he's up to at the minute.
He lives very far away but knows people round here.

I've had a partner for 2 years now who I love very much and incredibly happy with. I don't even look at anyone else really, never dream of flirting with someone else and I despise cheats.

I feel worried that it would be disrespectful to my partner to text this old friend, I intend to be totally honest about sending the message and the past history with him.

If it is disrespectful or makes him uncomfortable then I won't. He did tell me once he had stayed in touch with someone he used to like a few years back (but I don't think they speak much anymore apart from bumping into each other here and there)

I've maybe overthought this a lot , another guy I briefly dated 7 years ago texted me last year asking how I was doing, he's had another partner for years now, told my partner and there was no issue at all

Give it a miss.

What do you hope to happen by texting him?

You know that you have ulterior motives Op. Otherwise you wouldn't be asking on Mumsnet.

If you're asking online if you shouldn't do it, then you probably shouldn't do it

What do you hope to achieve by texting him?

My Partner and I are both friends with people we had been seeing prior to meeting, there's no issues there. However, I would question why when you've not seen him for years you suddenly want to text to see how he's doing - it sounds as if you're hoping for something out of it and honestly I wouldn't be impressed if I was your Partner

Personally I wouldn't think twice about doing so. I don't think there's anything wrong with staying in touch with an ex, unless you still have feelings for them.

Eh if he has a partner and you’re just wondering if he’s okay/ how he has been then I don’t see what the issue is?

No feelings whatsoever and zero ulterior motive just wanted a catch up, but i won't send anything it was a silly idea, thanks