To think I'm never going to feel better?

[Angie657]

Hi everyone,

I just need somewhere to write my feelings down, to get it off my chest and vent a little I suppose.

I'm a young, recently single mummy. I say recently single, it's been over a year now and the relationship was well and truly dead in the water before that. I was married to my child's father but he had been doing things he shouldn't have even before we got married and before our child was born, but anyways we have now separated. I have bought a house for me and my child and we are settling in nicely, we don't have much but it's our home.

I am feeling really really down, I just can't help but think that I am never going to be good enough for anyone. I have a good job, I work hard, everything I have is my own but I just feel like I'm never going to happy, no one is ever going to accept me because of the car crash that my life has been and currently is.

My mental health and confidence has really taken a battering lately. I did reach out to my doctors and she referred me to a counselling team. A mental health nursed phoned me and chatted about my mood and concluded that it's normal to feel this way and that I will be ok, that was back in January, I haven't heard anything since. I don't know what to do or who to turn to. I have no family, a small group of friends who have been supportive, but they think because I'm in my own home now that I should be ok, but I'm really struggling.

Hi. I didn't want to read and run, but I am sorry you are feeling this way.

Do you have any friends or family you can go on play dates with. Or maybe a hobbie of your own to help give you a sense of purpose?

Or do you do any exercise to get those endorphins flowing?

Hope you're OK.

Your doing an amazing job. Your a single mum, you work full time and you've managed to sort yourself your own home - that's a HUGE achievement 👏 give yourself some credit xx

Hello Whiteminnowfish,

Thank you so much for taking time to reply to me, I really appreciate it.

I had my child quite young so I don't really have any mummy friends, I do try to walk most days, it helps me a little and I've recently signed up to a gym, my first class is actually tomorrow night, so I guess it is a focus for me.

Those who are close to me are telling me that I should be proud etc and maybe I should, but I'm just really struggling to see the bigger picture right now, like really struggling. I feel so unwanted, my confidence is in my socks. I just don't want to feel like this forever, I'm so embarrassed at how my life has panned out and I'm only on my mid 20's

I've recently signed up to a gym, my first class is actually tomorrow night, so I guess it is a focus for me.

Brilliant. This can do wonders for you. Youll meet people, have time for you and as pp said really get those endorphins going.

You're doing brilliantly by the sounds of it. And to have achieved so much by your mid 20s?! You absolutely should be proud. I'm not minimizing your feelings however.

I'm angry for you that the nurse decided you were 'fine'.
There are lots of helplines you can call for a chat and there must be some community centres or services in your area to help with getting counselling or any extra support you may need/want.

Keep on going! It's hard to see the bigger picture yes, but just keep going. All will reveal itself as you start to enjoy life a little more.

Do more for yourself. You are not unwanted with your child. And you don't need a relationship to be happy..really tell yourself this because it's true.

Keep talking when you need to, to anyone who will listen and also lovely people here any hour of the day for an extra boost

You are a single mum but have worked hard to get your own house, a massive achievement.
Agree that getting some you time at a gym will probably give you a lift.
Also may be worth looking into online support, especially if you are feeling isolated.

I think because thinks have been rough for you and haven't been as you would have liked, this has impacted you to the extent you don't see the good stuff.

You are a mum. You have a beautiful baby, a good job and have provided a safe and consistent home for them. You also had the courage to leave someone who didn't deserve you. You need to start giving you credit for that. You had challenges but have come out the right side of it with huge positives.

I'm not a single mum but my sister is as she's a bit like you in that everyone she thinks very highly of her but she's very tough on herself too.

You also appear to have some decent friends, are trying to look after your mental health so have great awareness. Maybe try some mums & baby groups to build up a network.

Don't knock yourself. You have no reason to.

I think you are going to be fine. This is obviously a tough time but you will come through this. It's great you are going to the gym. When I was a single mum it was nice to have another single mum friend round for dinner especially on a Sunday. We would take turns and it kept the weekend blues at bay

Sounds like you've got a lot to be proud of OP. Stop being so hard on yourself. You are still grieving a breakdown of the relationship but things absolutely will get a lot better, once you start to feel better. I'd talk to GP again. I felt similar to you some years ago and found antidepressants to be so helpful i'd wished i'd given them a go a lot sooner than I did, but i'm no doctor so obviously thats my experience. I started on a low dose and thats all i needed to notice a big difference. Be good to yourself, life can surprise you xx