Hi all. I'm sorry this is so long but I didnt want to leave anything out.
I rang my GP last week to ask for further help with my binge drinking problem. Its something that I've been trying to overcome for the past 3 years since my father's suicide and various stressful incidents/mental health decline. During that time I've had some quite long stints of full sobriety, one time 11 months and another 7 months. I dont drink every day or even every week, but when I drink I will 80% of the time go on these large binges. I'm ashamed of it and I know it's not right or normal. I have a 7 year old dd who I dont drink around (I have done on occasion but not gotten plastered, more like a few wines in the garden during the summer when friends are over sort of thing) I will drink when she goes to her dads or sometimes when she is in bed but it's usually when shes at her dads and I'm alone at home.
I'm a single parent with not much real life support. At first I used it as a coping mechanism when things got bad, I was in a bad place and so lonely, it made me feel better but slowly over time it became worse and harder to manage (having to take days off work etc due to hangover, something I've never had to do before), I'm on the right medication now and feel so much better mentally, problem is is that I'm left with this nasty "habbit".
As I said I've been trying, on my own, for a few years now to get a grip on this but keep falling into bad patterns with it, it's like when I start I find it hard to stop.
I rang my local outpatient rehab centre, got assessed and have a start date, in the mean time I am attending "pre treatment" every week which I've already started.
Last week I also rang my GP to see if they're was any additional support they could offer, the GP I spoke to was the same GP who I went to see a couple of years ago when I first noticed this becoming a problem. He asked what kind of impact, if any, I felt like this was having on my daughter. I said I do think its having an impact in the sense that when she comes back from her dads I'm hungover and too ill to do much with her. Now when I say that I dont mean I'm incapacitated, just that usually we will go on various activities such as swimming, trampoline park, a castle, beach etc etc on the day she comes
back from her dads (he has her two nights and days a week) she is used to this being the case and I feel so guilty on those times she does come home an I have to say no we cant go out today "mummy isnt well". She will play at home, do crafts and watch films, I will cook and tidy, bathe her etc but we wont go out. So yes I said I do think it has an impact due to her feeling let down an disappointed that our usual fun day together (a sunday) isnt happening as usual. As I said this isnt every week, more like once a fortnight if I had to put a time frame on it (but theres times weeks and months can go by when I dont drink at all then sometimes itll be two weekends in a row this will happen. The GP said because of this (the fact I said its having some impact on dd) he will have to make a referal to child services. I said ok and whatever needed to happened needed to happen, I know hes doing his job and tbh, I'm not 'scared' of ss. Dd is well cared for and loved and kept away from my problem as much as possible, although I know it will have an impact on her in some way and certainly something I want to sort out before it gets out of hand. I will not let that happen.
Someone from child protection rang that same day, we had a chat, she was really nice and I explained all I have above, that I'm aware of the problem and have sought help to deal with it. She said it didnt sound like there needed to be any involvement from them as shes happy with the support I have put in place and it sounds like dd is happy and cared for, but that she would like to speak to dd dad and I passed his number on. He knows what's happening as I had told him I was attending rehab and is in full support (we co parent well so can have these chats, we've known eachother a very long time) so that was fine.
SW rang and spoke to him, all was ok from what I can gather although he didnt say much other than she had said she would need to speak to dd school and then her manager would make the final decision.
Thing is, she didnt say any of that to me, just that she needed to speak to him. Nothing about school or anything so I find that odd. I'm not bothered if she does, in fact great, dd does amazing at school, shes a bright, happy, helpful girl. She wins prizes at school for being kind and a hard worker. Shes top of her class for work, home work done on time and is always clean and on time. So I'd be happy if they did ring them! Just, why not tell me they were going to?
Anyway, after that phone call I havent heard anything back. Not a thing. So what's happening? Are they looking into it further or has it been closed now?
Just I would have thought they would say one way or another? This was a week ago now but still not heard anything back and I'm starting to worry. In a way I'm not too fussed as I know all is well at home and I'm seeking the right support for myself, but also I just want to know what, if anything, is happening? I just think it's weird and that they would ring then leave it open like that? Although she did say to me that it "doesn't sound like it needed any involvement from us" so maybe that was my answer and I'm just getting myself worked up over nothing? (Strong possibility..)
Does anyone know how all this works? Its the first time anything like this has happened and I'm confused by it all.
Thank you 😊