To feel depressed about work?

[hannahmontana00]

My journey at work has been up and down. Initially my manager disliked me so I was constantly getting pulled up about things that others in our office weren’t eg ordering deliveroo during lunch breaks or being too talkative in the office. My work was never an issue.

My performance at work then skyrocketed where I have been nationally recognised over the past 6 months, so my manager had no choice but to tolerate me I suppose (although I rectified his concerns about my behaviour). I thought our relationship was now okay, but no.

Recently an (unjustified) complaint was made against me and my manager did not support me at all and wanted me to get the harshest punishment. The union were involved, manager didn’t follow guidance etc and nothing will come of the complaint as it was proven wrong.

However I just constantly feel stressed out about work now. I feel like he’s just waiting to get rid of me. Today he removed me from a work group chat and I have no idea why, but it’s a group chat of 40+ people so imagine how publicly shamed I feel. Aibu to let him get to me? I just feel really alone but I can’t pay bills etc without this job.

What has your Union rep said about your removal from a work WhatsApp group? That sounds hard to justify if you were to raise a grievance.

Haven’t spoken to them. It was a group chat on Teams with a collection of colleagues with a specialism across departments so I guess he will probably say I don’t “need” to be in it anymore. I’m worried when I get into work tomorrow he will tell me he’s taken my specialism away from me.

What was the complaint about? And what was the outcome of that situation? Was your manager censured internally for not following guidance?

I sympathise: I've been in a situation where a manager didn't like the cut of my jib (for no rational reason really) and was incredibly punitive to me for years about really trivial stuff that staff on equivalent lessons weren't punished for. It can be surprisingly hard to shake that off, even if its not based on anything rational.

Would you consider moving to a different company? I have to say I think once a relationship is that toxic its quite hard to move past it.

YANBU. Work is such a significant part of our lives. It’s really not acceptable how he’s behaving. You should raise a grievance. Not only is he behaving inappropriately as a manager, the WhatsApp removal essentially amounts to covert bullying.

Sorry you’re having such a shit time. It sounds really unfair and stressful.