To book to go away when my DS has toddlers on Thursday

[worriedaboutmytoddler]

My mum usually has my son on a Thursday because she likes to take him to a toddler group at her local church. We’ve last minute talked about going down to stay near my partner’s dads due to having time off and an unexpected invoice being paid (it’s usually paid really late), and we haven’t seen them in months. They live in a really lovely part of England.

But I’m nervous of telling my mum we’re considering this in case she kicks off. It might be unfair to her? So before we book/I bother mentioning, I just wanted to ask whether I would be unreasonable to book? (Monday - Friday as found an absolute bargain and it would take hours to drive back in time for 10am toddlers on a Thursday!)

If I am we’ll hold off until the next time we have time off together. It is last minute too so maybe I should give her some notice. It’s been a rough few weeks with my son being poorly and we’ve all got cabin fever! Just wanted an unbiased opinion.

Thank you!

I misread it - I thought that you meant you and your partner would go but still want your mum to look after your son. As it's not the case you wouldn't be unreasonable to book and enjoy the mini break! I don't see why your mum would kick off but alas family relations aren't always straight forward.

You’d be mad not to go on a week’s holiday with your partner and child to a lovely part of the world visiting family in order to allow your mum to take your child to a church toddler group one morning.

Don’t be mad.

@worriedaboutmytoddler

No backstory except she is very over the top and demanding and I can imagine she will likely try to guilt me. Thanks for all the comments, I think we’ll book and go

Good opportunity to draw up some boundaries then

Is your mum quote entitled when it's come to your ds? I can't imagine why you'd feel the need to check that her not having him for one day is acceptable.
You're going to take him to visit other family, family who I'm assuming is his grandfather? Why is your mums relationship with your child superior to that of your partners father?
Just book the holiday, and enjoy a little time away with your family. If your mum kicks off, then it's time to take a step back and set some boundaries.

I have the sort of mam you are talking about. Haven't dealt with this situation, yet, as I'm only pregnant with DC1. But I've often heard "oh person a, b and c will be so disappointed that you can't do that" when it is something she wants/ will mostly benefit her.

Anyway, I'd book the holiday and text/ call her depending on what is usual for you. You want to do the usual thing so that it doesn't look out of the ordinary. So I'd say to my mam 'by the way, I don't need you to mind little Jimmy this next Thursday. I got a fantastic deal for a little holiday near FIL, isn't that great? Didn't I get such a good price, and I could do with the break". She'll be forced to agree with you. Do not ask her, tell her. And don't tell her in a way that she thinks she has any come back for feeling hurt. Yes it is pussy footing but that is what works best with my mam.

I clicked yabu...to have to put so much worry into something so simple. Time with your own dc is invaluable.. Your dm isn't the priority here..

This is the fun of having pre-schoolers, to be able to have breaks on a whim before you become beholden to term times.

You need to manage the boundaries you have in place with your Mum if she’s so over the top that you’re worried she’d “kick off.”

We booked it and are on route! Thanks for the kind comments and advice. I just sent her a text to let her know but haven’t heard back yet (eeep) too late now though! And yes FIL is my son’s biological granddad!

"And yes FIL is my son’s biological granddad!"

All the more reason to be confident in your boundaries. Glad to hear you are going to have a fun vacation and your child and FIL will get to spend time together.

@worriedaboutmytoddler

We booked it and are on route! Thanks for the kind comments and advice. I just sent her a text to let her know but haven’t heard back yet (eeep) too late now though! And yes FIL is my son’s biological granddad!

Enjoy op! Hope you have a wonderful time and don't let her ruin your break.