After some quick advice please.
ExH divorced 5 years, awful, sporadic contact, verbally abusive, Disney dad, doesn’t pay maintenance (self employed) and when I went to CMS last year he started claiming benefits so he didn’t have to pay.
We’ve had years of him not turning up for the children on his scheduled days. Sometimes for weeks on end. After a LONG period of him being unpredictable (to control me), I stopped contact as too damaging to my kids. Kids happy about this. Didn’t see him for a year.
Then Covid happened. He got in touch to say he was sorry, Covid made him realise how awful he was, will do everything possible to show us he’s changed, would never hurt kids, etc.
Kids decided they wanted to see him. Just for an hour at a time, build up to seeing if he was reliable. He was.
A new schedule was arranged last summer. He saw the kids every 2 weeks (but made my life difficult in between and during contacts, controlling - kids happy with him so I sucked it up). still doesn’t pay maintenance.
Now, he’s started again, cancelling contact and/or just doesn’t show up. Kids v upset, but youngest still wants to see him.
I want to say no. I don’t trust him. He will affect their emotional security. I want to fully stop contact to protect them.
WIBU to do this? What do I say to youngest? Ex will blame me in future.
He’s due to see them on Weds (if he turns up).