Not invited by former colleagues to meal

[000oooh]

Worked at a place for 1.5 years, got on with my colleagues really well I thought. Some left around the same time I did and some are still there, but we were all on a big group chat together.

Some people left the group chat quite early on but I tried to keep in touch with everyone and organize things.

There were 1/2 things I couldn't go to which were organised, but I went to one thing last summer which was great.

However the group chat seemed to die, nobody ever wrote on it and next to nobody replied, so I deleted it in the end as it seemed a waste of time, however I still have their contact details and they have mine.

I have briefly spoken to one or two of them on social media in recent weeks.

Last night some photos appeared on my social media page of a group of 10 of them out for a meal. I admit I felt a bit hurt I wasn't invited. The ones I had recently spoken to didn't mention a thing, and surely it's not because I deleted a group chat that was no longer in use at all.

Just makes me feel a bit hurt that they never really liked me that much, or maybe they started their own new chat without me. This is a group of people between 30 and 60 years old, not some high school event.

Should I bother contacting any of them again or just move on?

Just move on, this kind of thing can get tiresome at times.

they probably had another chat group, surprising they kept you on,
people are funny like that,
you are no longer part of their work

you worked there, you left. Move on.

When you say you deleted the chat, does that mean you were the char admin and deleted it for everyone, or just that you deleted it from your list of chats? If the latter, they probably dug out the chat to send the invitation, didn’t notice you’d left and have just assumed you haven’t responded. If you deleted the whole thing, they probably took that as a pretty big statement - maybe they thought it was petulance because no one had been using it?

Either way, I don’t understand why you’d cut the most obvious form of contact and then wonder why you weren’t contacted. I see people do this with Facebook - they delete people because ‘They never message me, so what’s the point?’ Surely the point is that you have the option if you need/want it?

It was probably organised by the group that still work there and then a few of them invited one or two they they became close "real" friends with rather than "work" friends. I wouldn't expect to still be in touch with a work friend a year and a half after they left.

@Toottooot

I really couldn’t get hung up over people I was colleagues with for a year and a half - get over it.

But you aren't the OP, she obviously is bothered, how is it relevant that you wouldn't care

Maybe OP you could commentor send a message along the lines of seeing that they had a good time, you'd love to know when the next night out is

If I was in a whatsapp chat that got deleted I would assume the deleter no longer wished to be in contact with me.

@WomanStanleyWoman

When you say you deleted the chat, does that mean you were the char admin and deleted it for everyone, or just that you deleted it from your list of chats? If the latter, they probably dug out the chat to send the invitation, didn’t notice you’d left and have just assumed you haven’t responded. If you deleted the whole thing, they probably took that as a pretty big statement - maybe they thought it was petulance because no one had been using it?

Either way, I don’t understand why you’d cut the most obvious form of contact and then wonder why you weren’t contacted. I see people do this with Facebook - they delete people because ‘They never message me, so what’s the point?’ Surely the point is that you have the option if you need/want it?

Agree with this. They would all see " Op left the group" Not sure why you expect old colleagues to try to contact you if you left the group

I think it's quite rare for people to stay close friends with ex-colleagues in the grand scheme of things.

I had some really, really close friends in my last job but we barely speak now. We just have different lives and live in different places and it's hard to keep in touch sometimes.

I also wonder whether you not being able to make a few of the meet-ups meant they thought you weren't bothered anymore?