He doesn't have time for me

[EzzieB]

I've been dating someone for six months but have been acquaintances for years.

He's usually thoughtful and considerate but he never has time to see me except on his terms. When I ask if he's free, even with notice, he doesn't answer my text yet when it finally suits him he'll ask if I want to meet up.

It's really getting on my nerves but maybe I'm just being needy.

I've tried to discuss it both by text or by phone and he doesn't text me back when I raise it or by phone he says he's busy and will speak later.

When we do see each other the dates are really good.

He's single and definitely not seeing anyone else.

You're too available. He only sees you when it suits him, you only see him when it suits him. There's a pattern and it'll continue if you keep seeing him. Cut him loose.

I dated someone like this, for a while it worked, he was career focused, promoted twice in our time together from normal class teacher to assistant principal both roles that take up alot of time and I was a single parent to a toddler at the time so getting together occasionally was a good distraction for us both.

Eventually I got bored, bored of being the one to always text first although he made time to text his mates about the footy etc. I got a new job and texted him to let him know and got radio silence, I left it and decided if he was that fussed he would message me back a congratulations, he never did and that was the end of that.

I think if your unhappy nows the time to let him go, he isn't going to change, as they say unfortunately for whatever reason "he's just not that into you" which hurts but we make time for the things that are important to us.

@Justmuddlingalong thank you. I feel like I'm being unreasonable when he doesn't text back to discuss it. He doesn't have a particularly busy life. Just I don't seem to fit into it much.

You're not a priority for him. It isn't needy to expect replies to your text messages and for him to meet sometimes when it is at your convenience.

I'm not saying he's a bad person, just that you seem to come low down on the list of what is important to him.

It's up to you whether you can accept this casual sort of relationship - it sounds as though you, quite understandably, want more - so I would suggest you seriously assess the future of this relationship. Don't waste more of your life on it in the hope he will change, because he won't.

Are you really going to tolerate this shit behaviour? You are just an afterthought in his life. Dump this rude twat and find someone who makes you a priority. Raise your standards.

Thanks @ClariceQuiff. That's exactly how I feel. At the very bottom of his priorities below all his friends, below everything else in his life. Am I just convenient for sex for him?

@Aquamarine1029 I don't want to tolerate it anymore. I'm just really sad that I don't mean anything to anyone. Even him.

Do you have dates, go out together, meet each others friends or family? Or, does he contact you, you meet up and have sex?

[quote EzzieB]@Aquamarine1029 I don't want to tolerate it anymore. I'm just really sad that I don't mean anything to anyone. Even him.[/quote]
Don't base your self-worth on the attention given by an arsehole like this. What a waste of emotional energy. Get rid of him, pick yourself up, and promptly move on. Yes, unfortunately, he sees you as an easy shag. Don't allow this for one more minute.

He's just not that into you I'm afraid. You're convenient for him. Stop being so available and see if that changes anything. And if it doesn't forget about him and find someone who actually wants to spend time with you and who thinks of you (rather than themselves). You know you deserve better than this.

Thank you for your answers everyone. I'm going to have to call it a day with him aren't I? It's just awful but he can't see what's wrong with the situation.

Funny thing is, this has happened to me before.....and....not being petty....one time he messaged me first, asking for a meet up, I'd accidently left my phone at home and couldn't go back for it until my break came up 5 hours later. There was the first message, asking for a meet up, one about an hour later asking if I'd seen the first message .....then another thirty minutes after that, asking if am I ok ....then a few missed phone calls. It was only then I realised that while it was convenient for him to do to me, it wasn't convenient for hlne tobdo to him. So I started to not instantly reply to his messages...... promise I wasn't being petty

*me to do to him....(stupid phone)

Thank you for your reply @Tothemoonandbackx . Why are men such arseholes? This one is ignoring me. Not sure if it's a power thing but I've told him not to contact me again.