Taken drugs or not?

[Bitconfusedhmm]

Still not sure how I feel about this so putting it to the hive

Dh was required to have an extensive substance test prior to joining an (elite, exclusive) law enforcement agency.

I saw a message from his best friend saying ‘does your wife know you’ll fail the test?’ He insisted then, and still does, that the friend was joking. I struggle to see how it can be a joke.

Dh passed the test. Not one that can be faked by someone else taking it for you - administered by an independent lab, involved a hair sample, very comprehensive in terms of substances checked for. I’m wondering how far back the test goes.

Dh knows substance use is a dealbreaker for me. To avoid a drip feed, he had a substantial cocaine addiction 15 years ago and says hasn’t touched anything since.

Aibu to think there’s something fishy here?

if it was a joke, there wasn't anything funny about it. I know he passed the test but it would make me nervous that he was hiding drug use (even if only occasional) from me. Substance abuse is dealbreaker for me too and I couldn't be with a former addict as I would always be nervous that they would relapse but hide it from me.

I'd assume the friend knows about his past heavy drug use, as you do, and that he thought that would cause a fail.

I wouldn't know how recent drug use would have to be to be detectable in a hair sample (does it depend how long your hair is?! I really have no idea about these things).

I see how it could be a joke, it sounds like friends ribbing each other. Why would he go for the test if he thought he would fail, why would he even join the agency and then what - just hope for the best?

Not everyone has the same sense of humour, I'm an addict myself and make drug/addiction jokes as well as jokes pertaining to self harm (also relevant to me). It's my way of coping.

He passed the test, that's the part that should matter and count.

He passed the test so he hasn’t used drugs. What’s the problem, and why are you reading his messages?

@WhackingPhoenix

He passed the test so he hasn’t used drugs. What’s the problem, and why are you reading his messages?

This

Of course it was a joke. Probably best if in future you don’t read messages to your husband from his friend as you don’t understand his sense of humour.

A joke and whether something is funny is entirely subjective. I read it as the friend making a joke about the previous drugs habit. He passed so move on

It was just a joke about his previous drug habits.

Just because you didn't find it funny, doesn't mean your DH didn't, or that other people wouldn't find it a harmless joke.

@WhackingPhoenix

He passed the test so he hasn’t used drugs. What’s the problem, and why are you reading his messages?

Agreed

Its an odd joke but still not sure why you're questioning it considering he passed the test.

It was a joke. He passed.

I feel as if they're that exclusive and elite he shouldn't be telling all and sundry about their recruitment process.