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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No privacy!

67 replies

User20611 · 27/02/2022 09:54

I don’t no what else to do, I live in a cul de sac and have approx 10+ children in our street, They range from 3-16years.

Weather seems a lot better and the nights
Are getting lighter, out comes the children playing, (it doesn’t bother me
The slightest that children are out playing as mine some times goes out to join them to)

But every child that plays out seems to think my front garden is a playing area for the street!

My living room window is at the front of my house… I get approx 6 maybe more children think it’s acceptable to walking, riding bikes, scooters, playing dolls, football any game really on my front garden. I have children standing right up against my living room window shouting, screaming, bouncing balls the lot 🤦🏼‍♀️.

I have gone out to ask them nicely to not play out on our front garden and if they can go to play on there own garden instead but they still don’t listen, soon as I shut the door they are back on and have forgotten what I’ve just said.

Ive gone on to bashing on the living room at least 4-5 times a day, the same as my husband, they just look at me with a shocked face to think they are doing nothing wrong!

My husband is starting to get really fed up as it’s been going on for so long and no matter what we say and do they totally ignore us and can see him shouting very soon.
We have given them the polite talking to and the bash on the window to remind them but nothing stops it.

My husband works long hours and when he’s finished from work and walking to the door he’s having to climb over scooters bikes and balls even food rubbish all dumped along outside our front door! We never have peace or to be able to relax in our living room.

We would like to put hedging along our garden but feel this will be damaged from bikes and scooter and footballs being always dumped on our garden.

I have tried speak with the parents as we all get along well in our street, but seems to fall on deaf ears.

Does anyone else have any advice on what we can do, moving is not a option!

OP posts:
WhatNoRaisins · 27/02/2022 12:08

Is this going to be the garden equivalent of those threads about people walking into your home but just locking the door like a normal person isn't an option for the OP?

MalbecandToast · 27/02/2022 12:09

Another here saying a fence, how annoying you have my sympathy.

Alternatively- get your patio chairs and sit in their gardens with your book and a glass of wine - when their parents ask what your doing tell them as they don't stop their children using your garden you assumed it's fine to use theirs Smile

WouldIwasShookspeared · 27/02/2022 12:12

Agree with everyone that you need a strong fence but what I'd want to do is get a blanket and so sit on the offender's homes front garden with a cup of tea and a sandwich.
Oh I'm sorry, I thought front gardens were all communal. Your children always play on mine so I've decided I'm going to picnic on yours.

Course, I know you can't really do that but it would be so so bloody tempting!

Mochudubh · 27/02/2022 12:16

You need to break the habit by putting up some sort of barrier, even if it's not a permanent fence. If the layout is open plan where you are not allowed to put up fences could you set out planters with spiky shrubs for example?

Even just a temporary barrier like a post and rope fence might be worth trying before you go spending a lot of money.

WildfirePonie · 27/02/2022 12:17

Fence and Gate. And a diagram if it's a complicated layout.

Circe32 · 27/02/2022 12:20

Get a couple of solar ultrasonic cat repellers - kids hate them!

YoComoManzanas · 27/02/2022 12:27

I cant imagine this. Do you have a large flat lawn with no barriers to your property? Can you provide a diagram?
The obvious solution is to hire a gate guard to chase the scamps away every time. Wink

HarrietSchulenberg · 27/02/2022 12:32

Give them one warning and then confiscate anything abandoned on your property, parents can come and ask for it back.

You really need to be tougher, OP. Practice a "teacher voice" and use that to tell them to get out of your garden instead of pussyfooting round with polite reminders.

Rosieej · 27/02/2022 12:35

Get your husband to act angry and storm out and scare them a little. They won't be back Grin Always worked when I was a kid

Rosieej · 27/02/2022 12:36

@Rosieej

Get your husband to act angry and storm out and scare them a little. They won't be back Grin Always worked when I was a kid
Also anything they leave in the garden like bikes or scooters, take them away :)
pinkyredrose · 27/02/2022 12:39

Shout at the little fuckers and keep anything left on your property. Can you borrow a scary dog or two?

ThinWomansBrain · 27/02/2022 12:40

anything left in your garden goes straight to the dump or charity shop?

PainterMummy · 27/02/2022 12:44

Fence, sprinkler and if that doesn’t work, if you have a friend with a dog, ask for some firmer dog poo. Put up a beware of dog sign and put down some dog poo. You’ll only need to put a bit down, most likely short term snd they’ll not be back

DifficultBloodyWoman · 27/02/2022 12:47

Put up a small fence. Plant a hedge behind it.

Use horse manure as fertiliser for the plants and your lawn.

Nobody will come anywhere near until the hedge is well established.

Longdistance · 27/02/2022 12:50

‘Oi! What did I say to you last time? Get out of my front garden, now! You’ve been told before. How many times do I have to tell you? Go play in your own gardens, I’m fed up of you all screaming, leaving your bikes everywhere and rubbish left behind! What did I just say? (Wait for answer) I don’t want to see you in my garden again!’
They’re either thick/feral or both.

Theunamedcat · 27/02/2022 12:56

Kids cab be nightmares I had them sitting on my hedge I wandered out said there is a nest under there you need to get off got told to fuck off I went inside shut my windows they got cocky and bounced on my hedge the wasps were annoyed......I never said it was a birds nest did I

Seeline · 27/02/2022 13:01

Stop with the polite requests!

I would tell them in no uncertain terms that they need to leave and not come back. And anything left behind would be removed.

purplesequins · 27/02/2022 13:02

plant pyracantha

ElegantlyTouched · 27/02/2022 13:20

Anything left if your garden goes somewhere they can't reach. Make the parents come for them and tell them next time it goes to a charity shop.

Then fence.

girlmom21 · 27/02/2022 13:22

My husband works long hours and when he’s finished from work and walking to the door he’s having to climb over scooters bikes and balls even food rubbish all dumped along outside our front door

Call a scrap man 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
User20611 · 27/02/2022 13:32

Thank you all for the advice, we are in terrace housing, so unfortunately can’t put a gate on the front of our garden as the path to our front door is shared. The path to the front doors divides the front gardens, I am though looking at putting a hedge along the side of my path with a temp fence but I need to save some more pennies for this.

We have not long spent 3k on new back garden fencing as we had children climbing over for footballs instead of knocking!!

I have been out again to the children this morning at 10am banging on the window twice didn’t stop, I lost my shit and ran to the door to tell them to bugger off and enough is enough! They did eventually stroll off! But the look on their faces was a picture! They honestly think it’s acceptable to play on other peoples gardens!

The bikes and everything do get chucked onto the neighbours garden, we live next door to the children who invite the whole neighbouring kids over to play in the front gardens, we wish they would all just go on their own! I don’t honestly mind kids playing outside on public paths or even on their own gardens but when they then stroll to my front garden it causes me anxiety and stress!

Ino the answer is fence and hedging and that’s exactly what we will do but it all seems a lot of money and cost out of our pockets all the time, when a simple please stay off the garden and please knock on the door should of been enough to take notice! Grr!

Am I thinking respect/manners in children and adults now isn’t shown anymore?
When I was younger I wouldn’t dare to do what people do now days! If I did I was grounded lol!

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 27/02/2022 13:35

Have you spoken to your neighbour?

StormyWindow · 27/02/2022 13:37

From experience, let DH shout. It will take one of you to really get to the end of your tether and properly yell at them before this stops. You've asked them nicely, you've asked their parents nicely, you've reminded and explained why it's a problem, none of it works. Only thing that worked for us was my DH finally (after a long time and exhausting all other options) losing his temper and bellowing at them. Weirdly it's actually improved relations, they don't play outside our house anymore but always say hello now, there actually seems to be some mutual respect building up. I hate confrontation and was horrified at the idea of DH shouting at other peoples kids but I wish I'd let him do it sooner tbh, there's something to be said for an old fashioned telling off as it turns out!

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 27/02/2022 13:46

Thank you all for the advice, we are in terrace housing, so unfortunately can’t put a gate on the front of our garden as the path to our front door is shared. The path to the front doors divides the front gardens, I am though looking at putting a hedge along the side of my path with a temp fence but I need to save some more pennies for this.

The neighbour might be happy to split the costs.