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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I can get some rest?!

16 replies

Buttonmoonmrspoon · 27/02/2022 09:19

Partners kids are here, they’ve been staying since Friday. I’m very involved and hands on with them, and we all went out for the day yesterday. Partner has had a bit of a sniffle the past couple of days, but nothing major - hasn’t been taking paracetamol or anything.

Last night I started feeling ill out of nowhere, and went to bed around 9pm. I didn’t sleep well and have woken up with a bad head, throat, and ears, and all congested.

I asked him if he could get up with the kids (at 9am, so not early) and ask them not to disturb me so I can go back to sleep for a bit. He’s now upset and angry and says it’s “worrying” that I said this, why should I get to stay in bed and he has to get up when he’s also not feeling great.

AIBU to have said this?

OP posts:
Mummy1608 · 27/02/2022 09:21

why should I get to stay in bed and he has to get up when he’s also not feeling great

Because he's their parent, that's what parents have to do

Mummy1608 · 27/02/2022 09:21

(Yanbu)

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/02/2022 09:22

Yes, they’re his kids! Should be the default that he gets up with them and not you, but especially when you’re not well.

Original poster
Buttonmoonmrspoon · 27/02/2022 09:48

He’s now got up and has brought me tea and paracetamol.
And actually I did get up first with the kids yesterday, so I don’t feel too bad!

OP posts:
KindlyKanga · 27/02/2022 09:49

You need to back off with the parenting. He is taking you for granted and using you.

Seeleyboo · 27/02/2022 09:58

Why do men always default their kids care onto their new partners. Ergh. Happened to me in one relationship but never again. They're his kids. Remind him of this and back away completely.

whiteworldgettingwhiter · 27/02/2022 10:00

Urgh. What a lazy twat. Sounds like he's roped you into parenting his kids and is taking you for granted.

I recommend you step right back when the dc come over next - be busy doing something else. Let him parent. Then have a chat about boundaries and how the dc are his responsibility, not yours.

Mrsjayy · 27/02/2022 10:01

He is taking the piss they are his children you getting up with them Is a favour it shouldn't be an exception. Have you don't a lft ?

Original poster
Buttonmoonmrspoon · 27/02/2022 10:07

I genuinely love having the kids here and am happy to be involved. He does do his fair share, so I can’t complain about that. And he’s up this morning and I’m still in bed!

OP posts:
Original poster
Buttonmoonmrspoon · 27/02/2022 10:08

Not yet, but I’ll do one when I get up. I do them every work day for my job anyway.

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 27/02/2022 10:08

He did moan though his initial reaction was what about him ! Couldn't be doing with that.

zingally · 27/02/2022 10:16

He should get up with them every single time as default! He's their PARENT!

KindlyKanga · 27/02/2022 10:28

@Buttonmoonmrspoon

I genuinely love having the kids here and am happy to be involved. He does do his fair share, so I can’t complain about that. And he’s up this morning and I’m still in bed!
No he doesn't. His fair share is all of it. They are his kids. Anything you do is a bonus.
LampLighter414 · 27/02/2022 10:33

So he responded a bit grouchy having just woke up, I think a lot of people can relate to that.

But he has now got up and done it. And since brought you a tea and painkillers. Sounds like a thoughtful partner to me.

Thread can be closed.

Mrsjayy · 27/02/2022 10:34

Not yet, but I’ll do one when I get up. I do them every work day for my job anyway.

Hopefully it's negative,

RandomMess · 27/02/2022 11:11

He does "his fair share" tbh ALL of it is his fair share anything you do is an added bonus!

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