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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To still feel like this

2 replies

Givemeyouropinion · 27/02/2022 08:13

Please be gentle. I know this may sound pathetic to some but I will try to explain as best I can. Around a year ago I found photos my husband had liked of a woman I had already told him I had had concerns about, she was the parent of a child my husband to coach, about a week before I found this I had asked my husband to stop
Following her on social media, he refused as he said I was being silly, at the time I didn't know she had started working where he works, when I found that out he explained he didn't want to remove her because he felt it would make it awkward at work, since then I found he had liked her photos, nothing sexy or anything just filtered pictures of her face, nobody else in them.
The thing is he would be gutted if it was the other way round, especially if it was someone he thought I would fancy.

Fast forward to now, we've decided we will
Stay together but he knows that if he ever does that again it's over (that may seem a bit much for some but that's how I feel) my problem is I don't cope well
Now when he is in the office (2 days a week) I don't feel enough at all anymore, I didn't have a lot of confidence before but now it's through the floor. And I constantly think he is looking at other women wherever I go.

I just don't know how to be ok anymore, I hate feeling the way I do, I hate that my confidence is so low and I hate feeling like I need to look a certain way (fake lashes, hair extension; constant lot looking perfect ) to be enough.

One thing I will say is that my husband tries his best and tells me all the time how he fancies me and loves me but that isn't making a difference, I don't trust him hit I really want to, I want things to be ok I just dont know how to get there. Does anybody have any advice please?

OP posts:
Givemeyouropinion · 27/02/2022 09:11

Anybody?

OP posts:
MartinMartinMarti · 27/02/2022 09:14

Gently, this sounds like a massive over reaction on your part.

When you say you ‘already had concerns’ - why’s that? Has he cheated before, or is it just because she’s the sort of person he might fancy?

If the latter, you need to focus on yourself, before this jealousy (not his actions) causes problems.

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