Rude mother in law

[Oreolover]

Hi all I guess I want to vent because I have had enough and I'm now sat on the sofa in a silent rage eating grated cheese.
So a long story short I had an argument with my partner because his sisters accommodation let her down before her visit to London and she needed somewhere to stay and I said she couldn't stay with us.
Now firstly I would have normally said yes but we live in a small home and i am unwell. The only place we have to offer her would be a small sofa and I feel bad and we are an hour away from where she needed to be. He asked his mum who lives in a large house with just her husband that has 3 annex also on her property. She said yes. However 15 minuets before his sister arrived (half sister different mum) called and said no she didn't make the beds and was to tired to make them so she cant stay.
So I said I would pay for her to stay in a hotel near us as i felt guilty and also sick.
He then phoned his grandmother who is lonely and said yes she can stay with me. It was all sorted.
He then went to drop her off and stayed in his nans 2nd spare room to drop her to the train station in the morning.
Morning time came and he is furious as I was up all night sick and asked him please don't bring her back here as I'm a mess and dd had a late night.
He went on a rant at me I got upset and said ok I will close myself in the bedroom and you can both spend the day here if she isn't going to London anymore.
He said no and went on a mad rant saying my family wouldn't welcome to visit anymore and I'm disgusting for doing this. My family have always been kind to him so it was so uncalled for.
He came and picked up dd along side his sister and mum to go for a walk.
Later hos mum messaged me saying she was concerned and to call me. Dd told me she heard nanny talking about me on the walk and was cross with nanny. I have had countless problems with his family they are so so difficult and mean.
So I phoned her. She started to tell me how I looked a mess when answering the door. And I'm weak for crying. And weak for being ill and catching bugs that return home from the nursery. She said I need to speak to someone and seek help about crying as I ahould be like her as she never cries. She has constabtly put me down then always tried to sugar coat it. She patronises me and has a really big ego. She has a very well paid job and always being headhunted. But her past is not the best so I dont know why she always belittles me. Anyway I'm just so annoyed about it as she pops up every now and then but always has to try to massively put me down and convince me I'm basically a weak useless person. Grinds my gears and makes me eat grated cheese and watch awful TV 😂 anyone else have a mean mother in law

[quote ChoiceMummy]@Oreolover
Even that last response to me, just exemplifies what I previously said.
Your family are on a pedestal. His family are not welcome and you reiterate how babdkt you feel mil has behaved towards you.
If MIL's conduct has been so awful since day 1,wtf did you continue? And surely once you decided to continue regardless of the mil, you'd decided its water off a duck's back.
You've stated you're often ill. That must be sooo draining and impacting on the family. Forget you for a moment as everything appears to be about you.
Your family aren't allowed to stay because you're ill. Your children are impacted. Your partner is impacted. Where's the consideration and concern for how this impacts them?

I'm a lone parent and have health conditions. And in the entire life of my child have only once not cared for my child when ill of having a flare up, outside of serious hospital stays. It is possible. It is whether you rate their needs above yours.
And being in bed because you've yet again caught another bug from nursery (your post) is taking the piss.[/quote]
My post was asking about other people's experience with mother in laws. Not about sickness which I do still look after dd when sick. You sound like you have a giant chip on yoir shoulder and you are taking out some anger on me. Its ok because I've given a snippet of a situation that spans years and you don't personally know me. I wish you all the best and I'm not gping yo argue with you

@Chickychoccyegg

They all sound horrible, including your dh.

Yes, I agree.

Dump the lot.

get your child and your ducks in a row and then get rid of your husband and toxic MIL. Nothing will get better, nothing will change, unless you change it.

Your mother in law sounds very unpleasant but she is not forcing you to eat grated cheese, you control what you put in your mouth.

@ChoiceMummy

So you’re going to ignore the fact that MIL who is healthy and has the room changed her mind 15 minutes before they were to arrive and cancelled because she couldn’t be bothered to do the sheets which aren’t exactly a massive task but expect ill OP who barely has the room to do so.

I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t stay knowingly at an ill person’s home nor expect them to lock themselves away because of it.

Some of the posts on this thread are shameful.

Hope you feel better soon, @Oreolover.

Also, YANBU.

Sounds like MiL has been stirring the pot here as it went from fine to drama by the sound of it. Sister sounds like she was sorted with her granny, and I get that DH wants quality time with her but they can go to a cafe/out for a walk/few drinks at the bar. If my DH was sick I wouldn't dream of bringing family back home when he's not up to it.

Hi OP, I think given what you've said about your 'dp' and his family I would look to make plans to go home to your previous area. Life is too short to be made to feel that way and your dd doesn't need that toxic behaviour around her.