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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to tell school safeguarding re drugs

24 replies

teenagersaaaaahhhh · 26/02/2022 21:10

Have seen on a group chat that one of my Dds friends is taking drugs.
They have been saying things for a while but are now talking about class c drugs.
I don't know if it's true or if they are looking for attention. Either way they obviously need help, if it's not true they shouldn't be worrying everyone like that.
I'm right though aren't I? I can't ignore this Sad
This could really affect my relationship with Dd if I go to the school but if its true and anything happens I would never forgive myself.
For context I have never met her, don't know her family but she says she was nearly expelled before for drug use in school and is an addict.
I'm scared for my Dd too

What would you do?

OP posts:
Tillymintpolo · 26/02/2022 21:14

Which class C ?

Cakeonthefloor · 26/02/2022 21:17

How old are they?

MissM2912 · 26/02/2022 21:19

I would just phone their head of year and tell them what you know. Then it is up to them to decide what to do with the info based on what else they know/ what other concerns they have. They will be nice to her and try and support so it would be for the best to inform.

whysoserious123 · 26/02/2022 21:28

You know a child is doing drugs ( atleast claiming to and has previously) is it not your responsibility as an adult to make sure this is not ignored? Completely understand your point about damaging your relationship with your daughter but trust me she will get over it. School route is the best option and explain to the head that you DO NOT want your child mentioned ( doubt they would anyway) let the school help this poor kid

fallfallfall · 26/02/2022 21:38

how would someone find out you are the source of the information?
teens talk and often do drugs in groups not to mention the purchase of said drugs. the world is not as big anymore you really can't hide much.

collieresponder88 · 26/02/2022 21:40

I wouldn't for a class c drug no !

WandaThePanda · 26/02/2022 22:07

Definitely speak to the school in confidence. You’re right to be concerned.

WandaThePanda · 26/02/2022 22:09

Oh and I have a family member who is institutionalised because of class Cs and will likely never live a normal life. They’re not harmless, especially in teens, whose brains are very much still developing.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 26/02/2022 22:12

Of course you need to.

There's a good chance she's vulnerable to being groomed to supply the rest of her year. And once she's at the dealer's house picking up, there's a perfect opportunity for them to say 'and have some of these pills to go with the edibles; no charge'.

The DSL will need the name, you can't just say 'somebody is taking drugs'. And they don't share who gave them the information.

teenagersaaaaahhhh · 26/02/2022 22:16

@Cakeonthefloor

How old are they?
15
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whysoserious123 · 26/02/2022 22:17

@WandaThePanda

Oh and I have a family member who is institutionalised because of class Cs and will likely never live a normal life. They’re not harmless, especially in teens, whose brains are very much still developing.
Exactly

Sorry to read this sad news

teenagersaaaaahhhh · 26/02/2022 22:18

@whysoserious123

You know a child is doing drugs ( atleast claiming to and has previously) is it not your responsibility as an adult to make sure this is not ignored? Completely understand your point about damaging your relationship with your daughter but trust me she will get over it. School route is the best option and explain to the head that you DO NOT want your child mentioned ( doubt they would anyway) let the school help this poor kid
My thoughts exactly.
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teenagersaaaaahhhh · 26/02/2022 22:19

@fallfallfall

how would someone find out you are the source of the information? teens talk and often do drugs in groups not to mention the purchase of said drugs. the world is not as big anymore you really can't hide much.
I would need to show them the messages, if they show her it wu e obvious from the way my Dd has the other girls name displayed
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Xmassprout · 26/02/2022 22:19

If she was nearly expelled for drug use in school, the school must already know?

teenagersaaaaahhhh · 26/02/2022 22:23

@Tillymintpolo

Which class C ?
Tramadol
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teenagersaaaaahhhh · 26/02/2022 22:24

@MissM2912

I would just phone their head of year and tell them what you know. Then it is up to them to decide what to do with the info based on what else they know/ what other concerns they have. They will be nice to her and try and support so it would be for the best to inform.
Thanks that's what I think too
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teenagersaaaaahhhh · 26/02/2022 22:25

@WandaThePanda

Oh and I have a family member who is institutionalised because of class Cs and will likely never live a normal life. They’re not harmless, especially in teens, whose brains are very much still developing.
So sorry to hear this
OP posts:
teenagersaaaaahhhh · 26/02/2022 22:26

@Xmassprout

If she was nearly expelled for drug use in school, the school must already know?
That was some time ago
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teenagersaaaaahhhh · 26/02/2022 22:27

@NeverDropYourMooncup

Of course you need to.

There's a good chance she's vulnerable to being groomed to supply the rest of her year. And once she's at the dealer's house picking up, there's a perfect opportunity for them to say 'and have some of these pills to go with the edibles; no charge'.

The DSL will need the name, you can't just say 'somebody is taking drugs'. And they don't share who gave them the information.

Will the screen involve the police too
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teenagersaaaaahhhh · 26/02/2022 22:32

Sorry that should say will the school involve the police? Would she be excluded?

The only thing that's making me doubt it's true is that she knows I sometimes check the group chat so why would she put it on there? It might be a cry for help and not actually true (let's hope it is).
She has also said on there about previously nearly being expelled, about taking an overdose when she was younger, she's on CAHMS waiting list I think.

I'm definitely contacting school. If anyone here works in a school what will they do? Surely she'll just deny it?

OP posts:
CagneyNYPD1 · 26/02/2022 23:07

A 15 year old getting their hands on Tramadol? Damn right you should tell te school.

15 year olds do all sorts of stupid stuff for a laugh with their mates. Tramadol is not one of those things. If it is true, there could be a whole lot of other stuff going on. Def talk to the head of Year or safeguarding lead at school.

CagneyNYPD1 · 26/02/2022 23:08

Oh and she may well deny it. But she will be on the school's radar.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/02/2022 00:37

@teenagersaaaaahhhh

Sorry that should say will the school involve the police? Would she be excluded?

The only thing that's making me doubt it's true is that she knows I sometimes check the group chat so why would she put it on there? It might be a cry for help and not actually true (let's hope it is).
She has also said on there about previously nearly being expelled, about taking an overdose when she was younger, she's on CAHMS waiting list I think.

I'm definitely contacting school. If anyone here works in a school what will they do? Surely she'll just deny it?

Not necessarily. They might perform a bag search - if they find some on her, it's likely then that she'd be suspended, but the more important thing is that they'll know she's either using or 'just' struggling with her mental health. They might be able to speed up her appointment (no guarantees, CAMHS is rammed) and provide additional support, plus ensure that she doesn't leave class during lessons, as that's the sort of thing that leads to somebody taking drugs in the toilets/an empty classroom/somewhere else on site.

They don't have just a duty of care towards her, they have one to the other students, so they have to take into account that she might be posing a risk to other by bringing drugs into school/dealing - which is not as rare as you'd think. And there's the issue of grooming/county lines to take into account - girls with MH issues, good girls, the ones that people assume won't be involved with that sort of thing are perfect targets.

And it means that they'll be aware there is the possibility of drugs if she's taken ill. You need to know if somebody's taken something when they say they feel sick or dizzy, as not all staff will be familiar enough to spot the possibility - that additional knowledge could be vital in identifying an ambulance situation rather than a 'go back to class now' or 'she's not feeling well, can you pick her up' where the parents might then go back to work.

Basically, there are so many variables at play, we don't know for certain what will happen, other than the safety of both that girl and other students will be foremost.

You'll be doing the right thing.

teenagersaaaaahhhh · 27/02/2022 14:46

Thanks everyone, I'm worried sick and will contact the school tomorrow.
Next I have to try and keep my Dd away from her without her realising it's me who contacted the school.

Dd is very naive, not very streetwise and thinks the sun shines out of this girls arse tbh. I'm not looking forward to this week

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