Planning stuff

[Heathofhares]

Please can you let me know who (if anyone) IBU in this situation.

Married couple with two primary aged kids. Adult A works in a office and gets a normal amount of annual leave. Adult B is a teacher, so lots of holiday but no flexibility on when to take it.

The whole family is looking forward to going away a bit this year and catching up on trips that have been postponed due to covid etc.

Adult A likes to be spontaneous and finds it hard to commit to planning in advance. They think that it is risky to book up as things might change etc. - Adult A thinks Adult B is a fuss pot and should chill out and do whatever comes.

Adult B likes to have trips booked up in advance to look forward to and also to get the cheaper flights and a wider choice of accommodation. - Adult B thinks that adult A doesn't quite get the reality of booking school holiday travel in covid times isn't a good idea.

The children are happy just to go away - but they have been very disappointed on multiple occasions when promised plans have had to be changed or abandoned due to lack of availability once a decision to go has been reached.

Adult A has also admitted that they are jealous of Adult B who has more holiday than they do...

So WIBU?

Think adult A and B need to have a proper discussion about what they want. Being a teacher you don’t have flexibility about time off therefore it’s more expensive to go anywhere as all the prices are bumped up.

Adult A might be jealous about B’s holidays but lots of those ‘holidays’ are school closure days so really out-with B’s control.

Think it might be best to come to an agreement where one holiday a year is booked and arranged. Then the other holidays can be more free and maybe just involve day trips or short overnight trips. That way you get the best of both.

I'm like adult A because I love spontaneity & the idea of booking something 6 months plus in advance is weird to me. Plus with dc there are so few things you can do spontaneously. However I do find myself tied to the school holidays because I have kids & then I decide a few weeks before that actually I do want to go away & kick myself because everything is booked but then I find something & have a great time.

I'm with adult B.

I like to have things planned ahead and know what's coming up.

Adult A sounds like an idiot. Maybe marriage and kids wasn't for them if they love spontaneity so much.

But I feel like we're hearing from adult B, not adult A so difficult to judge without both sides of the story.

Things do need to be planned to a point, but not in absolute detail. For example, you could decide to go away May half-term, but leave the actual booking last minute and just take whatever is left as a bit of an adventure.

Neither adult A or B should be telling the children they're going to do things before those plans are confirmed, so the disappointed children is on both of you.