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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are children’s birthday parties in the school holidays are a bad idea?

51 replies

CouldIBeAnymoreOuting · 26/02/2022 16:53

Feeling the pressure with DS’s request for a whole class party as it’s the first party he will have since starting school because of covid rules in previous years, and likely to be the only whole class party I attempt to to for him - smaller numbers are easier!!

His birthday is over May / June half term so I worry lots of people might be away (especially because of the extra bank holidays this year).

Do attendee numbers dwindle during the school holidays or am
I overthinking this?

OP posts:
parrotonmyshoulder · 26/02/2022 20:11

My DD has an August birthday and had never really managed to have much of a party. She has had them in July/ September before, but it never feels the same. She does limit her expectations now (13 this year).

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/02/2022 20:30

My children each have birthdays that are sometimes in the autumn or Feb half terms. I tend to hold a party a week away from half term for them because my experience is that people can be away in half term, or just prefer not to tie themselves down to a party then.

AliceMcK · 26/02/2022 20:38

Fully depends on the people you are inviting, if they are children from families who go away a lot then yes people will probably be away, if from families that do go away much they will be around. All mine have birthdays in school holidays, 2 during Easter and they have always had everyone come. Other summer born, we only invited a small group last year but they all came too.

timestheyarechanging · 26/02/2022 20:41

Mine both have their birthdays during what's usually Feb half term. I used to give out invitations shortly after Christmas but a few would be away, not many though.

Liveandkicking · 26/02/2022 20:57

Yes they do, but if you invite the whole class there should still be a reasonable number, just make sure to get the invites out early and chase on class WhatsApp if no replies.

lanthanum · 26/02/2022 21:11

Summer half-term is very likely to mean lots of people are away.

DD is mid-August. She never wanted big parties at primary, so I used to check with her friends' mums, and choose a date when they were around (sometimes there would be friends she definitely wanted there, and others who we'd invite once the date was set and take pot luck on). It almost always ended up being the week they went back in September, on one of the teacher training days - most people are back then.

wendz86 · 26/02/2022 21:19

My daughters birthday is in May half term and i am doing her party on the 11th of June to avoid the holidays. I have had problems with my eldest who's birthday is usually in Easter holidays so try and avoid them if i can.

metellaestinatrio · 26/02/2022 21:54

I’d have the party the weekend before or the weekend after half term, rather than during the break, as IME lots of people go away that week.

My DS’s birthday is in the Christmas holidays so we always do his party the first weekend after they go back to school in January - we tend to get a good turnout as everyone is desperate for entertainment on a cold dark January afternoon!

Darbs76 · 26/02/2022 21:55

Yes DS2 is mid August and we had this problem. We started to have it in early September instead

Nogoodusername · 26/02/2022 22:53

Both of mine are half term holiday birthdays - one Feb half term and the other May half term. I always do it the weekend before school breaks up as it does affect attendance a lot - the end May/beg June birthday the most

JustLyra · 26/02/2022 23:12

I wouldn't do it in that half term. Too many people will be away on holiday or visiting relatives who are also off for the bank holiday. I'd do it the weekend before or the weekend after.

The only one of mine that successfully had parties in the school holidays was one right at the end of summer. It was whole class, but she was never disappointed if some didn't show. It's a small town so could easily text/remind everyone the week before and because it was always a drop and run people were happy with something to do!
But I ran the local holiday club at the time so we saw a lot of people over the holidays and it kept it in their minds.

Kite22 · 26/02/2022 23:33

Definitely don't go for May 1/2 term unless the plan is to have a small party .
One of mine's birthday is always in October 1/2 term and I was surprised how many folk are away then too, but May is even more likely that folk are away.

mnnewbie111 · 27/02/2022 06:05

I had loads every year at my august birthday but guess was a looong tome ago

GougeAway · 27/02/2022 07:03

My daughter is late August. After a disaster of a party in foundation year/year 1 summer holiday we always do something week two of September now. I wouldn't book a party for half term either.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 27/02/2022 07:12

May half term the has extra bank holidays in it this year, I imagine lots of people will be going away. Can you do the party the weekend before the end of term?

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 27/02/2022 07:18

PS / posted too soon. DDs birthday is in October half term, and DS’s in the summer holidays. I speak from experience. DH ‘s birthday in in late, he says he never had a birthday party, but I put that down to house proud control freakinesss on MiL’s behalf.

autienotnaughty · 27/02/2022 07:21

@TimBoothseyes

Yes they do and not just in childhood. I have a December birthday ( actually the worst day in December to have a birthday). I have never had a party for my birthday ever. Child or adult, not one party ever.
You seem scarred by this just want to check are you ok?😊
Fuuuuuckit · 27/02/2022 07:22

Meh. I'm August and I always had a good turnout, but never, ever had class parties. If my best friends were away I'd move it but even during term time (as I've found with my own dc) you'll get plenty of folk not turn up.

I've loved having my birthday in school holidays. Midweek sleepovers, camping in the garden etc were all HUGE hits with my friends.

autienotnaughty · 27/02/2022 07:23

Six weeks, Easter and Xmas definitely I'd say half terms are less of an issue. My dd is end July so we doit couple of weeks before.

Tigger85 · 27/02/2022 07:23

My ds birthday is late August, his dad's is 2 days before his birthday and said no one turns up to birthday party's in the holidays so we have booked his birthday party for July before school breaks up.

EssexCat · 27/02/2022 07:26

I have children with birthdays that fall often in half-term and one in august (well planned!) and yes numbers definitely are down. Now they’re older and want only a few friends I tend to doa n group chat and make sure the friends are free before I set a date.

But back when it was whole class or large groups I used to do them either side of the hols. Or not at all for the August one as he wasn’t always keen anyway.

SkankingMopoke · 27/02/2022 07:29

A PP makes a good point that it depends on the demographic of DCs class as to the liklihood many/most will be away. Where we live, a party during the summer hols would have very few numbers. Even trying to organise a class picnic where everyone has input their available dates into an app only yields 50% attendance (like another PP said, the 'best' dates IME are always the INSET days right before the schools return). Half term would give better attendance for us, although if it's a hot one I would expect lots of last minute cancellations as a high proportion of families in our area either have static caravans somewhere or are campers/caravaners and will decide to make the most of it and go away last minute. For a half term birthday, it is much easier to just have it a week earlier or later during term time.

I agree with the PP saying avoid the bank hols too. DD2 has been invited to a party on the INSET day directly after the Jubilee weekend. We had planned to take advantage of the BH plus extra day to get away, but will now need to come back a day earlier (not helped that the party is booked for the morning!), as it is one of DD's best friends and she'd be gutted to miss it. I'm pissed off at losing the benefit of the extra day so the party child's parent gets a cheaper 'off peak' deal, and wouldn't attend if it was a different classmate.

SecretSquirrel111 · 27/02/2022 07:31

It’s half term just do the week you go back, not too tricky and what everyone does!

Original poster
CouldIBeAnymoreOuting · 27/02/2022 08:09

Thanks for the responses. Think we’ll go for the week after half term. Week before is his sibling’s birthday. Wouldn’t normally worry about May half term as much as summer holidays, but the extra bank holidays throw it out a bit and I do think lots of his friends will either be away or spending that time with family.

OP posts:
ChocolateMassacre · 27/02/2022 08:27

My DS has a December birthday and we usually hold his party in January. December is clogged enough as a month! Let alone other people coming to his party, we struggle to find a free date to hold it on.

He also gets a small birthday present in December and a big present in June for his 'half birthday' to try to spread the presents around a bit.

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