I feel miserable for no reason. What's wrong with me?

[Teadrinker11]

I'm not looking for sympathy, just advice. I have virtually no clue what's wrong with me, but I am feeling awful all the time recently. Days recently are feeling like a drag, I'm filling my time with distraction or am bored to tears and obsessing over the past and how much I want to go back in time. This is the only thing on my mind nowadays, obsessing over things I can't stop and feeling sad. I have times where I'm close to crying but can't even do that because I don't know what's going on, I can't express myself or how to articulate how I feel. I'm not able to enjoy anything at all in my life, everything feels like a drag. Just recently I had a social with some classmates I am studying with. I organised and had been looking forward to that for weeks and last night I didn't enjoy it at all. The people weren't the problem, they're all very nice and they were not the issue. When I left I felt low, underwhelmed and just back to obsessing over the stuff in my head. I feel like this is all in my head and it fluctuates, sometimes every couple of minutes I'm fine, the next I've sunk low again. I have times where I'm questioning the point of being alive, what's the point of life if we'll all be dead at some stage anyway. Whenever I think about the future I can't look forward to it at all and am wondering where the hell I'll be, what I'll be doing and not in a good way. I also feel that something in my head has changed drastically in the last while, I don't know when this started as its been fluctuating a while but has increased recently. Once upon a time I used to be fine on my own, enjoyed being on my own, doing things myself and was able to enjoy every day and now it's the opposite. I can't stand being on my own, I need to be with people, acquaintances or family. But even when I'm with them this is stuck in my head and it won't go away. I suppose this has sort of increased in the last few days because of reading and listening to what's been happening in Ukraine, the problems people there are going through and the problems everyone has in their lives yet they have to drive on and here's me miserable about something that doesn't even feel real. I feel so selfish and cannot get these thoughts out of my head. I feel so low and would really appreciate some advice.

Hi, OP. Sorry to read that you're feeling so low. But please be assured that you're not alone - so many of us feel really quite strange about what's going on right now.

I tend to set myself small goals, even if one of them today is as mundane as making soup out of tins that need using up. (I haven't done it yet, I'm just planning it in my head ...)

What are you studying? (If you don't mind me asking.)

I'm sorry your feeling so down, it sounds like you could be depressed, I think you need to see a GP.

Hi

I'm so sorry you feel like this. You don't say what age you are. Peri-menopause can bring on depression. If it's possibly connected, it would be worth considering HRT options.

You say you keep wanting to relive the past. What aspect of the past? - Your job at the time? Your freedom? A past relationship or the quality then of your current one? You could see this as a helpful indicator of what would bring happiness to your life now. Either by doing similar things, or, crucially, by doing new things that give you a similar emotional high to the one you used to have.

When I felt like you, I just started doing a lot of new things, all at once. I volunteered for a food bank so I felt useful and could help people in need. I got fit again with intensive bootcamps. I tried as many new things as I could to give life a complete reshuffle: new music, food, cafes, activities etc.

I also did a lot of meditation, affirmation, yoga, journalling and took lots of supplements, as feeling low can be a by-product of vitamin deficiency. I took B-complex, veg-based iron, Vit D spray and L-Tyrosine.

These all helped and I ended up a lot brighter with a much more interesting life than before.