Just trying to gauge whether I'm expecting too much or whether my DH is being unreasonable.
The situation is this: he works full time, fairly demanding job and now earns a considerable amount more than I did/could. We've 4 kids and I stopped work after the third as nursery fees were the same as my salary and it was exhausting working a full time job and doing 90% of all the chores/childcare (pre pandemic he was out of the house 7am-8pm). While being a sahm I did at least 90-95% of everything and kind of just accepted it. I've now started a part time job (it doesn't earn much and actually doesn't cover the childcare costs for the hours I work so I've ended up having 4hours a week flexitime wfh so I have to squeeze that in without childcare- so in the evening/nap time etc).
Anyway, my issue is that I still do all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, tidying, getting packed lunches uniform ready etc. DH does give the kids breakfast some mornings if I need to catch up on 30 mins extra sleep after a rough night. He does also get up in the night when needed. other than that and sometimes loading/unloading the dishwasher he does little else (and nothing in the garden, no diy either) he plays with the kids and is a good dad but I'm starting to feel like his attitude to me is cleaner/housekeeper/nannny. Anytime I raise it he comes back with saying that he's working and so can't do it. It's become a huge issue because I'm mentally and physically exhausted and I feel like thhis is a huge cause of it. However, he says I'm just looking for another chance to have a go at him. I know he works hard and it is demanding but I can't get him to understand the toll our set up is having on me. I've tried to point out that if I was full time then surely he'd have to do something or how would it get done?
I'm just at the end of my tether as I can't see a way to change it or to get him to see anything from my perspective 😞