Books, advice or quotes that changed your thinking/improved your life

[flashbac]

Book:
I Had A Black Dog: made me realise I was depressed.

Advice from therapist: letting your mind replay traumatic events from the past means you are re-living them, re-experiencing them.

Info from a book (can't remember the name): treat your thoughts like a radio playing in the background. You don't have to take heed of it. After a while you will stop getting annoyed by it.

Quote: "you are not your thoughts"

Cheryl Strayed, ‘Tiny beautiful things’.
Best & only book I’ve ever read of the ‘self help’ genre. Really beautiful book and I’d recommend it to anyone going through a hard time for any reason xo

"Emotions are thoughts not facts" from my counsellor really stopped me in my tracks.

The book” I'm Okay, You're a Brat!: Setting the Priorities Straight and Freeing You From the Guilt and Mad Myths of Parenthood” by Dr Susan Jeffers really helped me come to terms with not having kids.

"Those that matter don't mind, those that mind don't matter"...

Not highbrow, but sometimes useful perspective on whose opinions you care about and why.

"All your life, other people will try to take your accomplishments away from you. Don't you take it away from yourself."

Michael Crichton, The Lost World

This always stuck with me, as so many times in life people (young girls in particular) play down their accomplishments so as not to appear "full of themselves", but it's an important lesson to own your accomplishments. Others will try and minimise them, you should minimise your own achievements.

Get Rich, Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield Thomas genuinely changed my mindset towards money and consequently my financies. I was actually quite wealthy for a while, then some awful things happened and it all fell apart.
Things are better now, thankfully, I'm re-reading it and putting her advice into practice and, guess what? It's working again! 😎

"The only way out is through." Carl Jung (and Robert Frost said a similar thing).
I live by this.

"We’re looking at this [life] from just one side. Our faith has to be that there is another side." This is actually from an interview with Rabbi Patz, the uncle of one of America's first Milk Carton kids, Etan Patz, who went missing on his way to school in Manhattan in 1979. And I really love this quote (and if you read his words leading up to that quote, it gives the quote more context).

“The place in which I’ll fit will not exist until I make it” James Baldwin
I just read a page of his quotes whilst looking for this one, I’d recommend it to anyone with a few minutes to go down a rabbit hole.

12 Rules for Life (audio book)

Got me to finally take care of myself like I was somebody worth taking care of. Started anti depressants after 30+ years of depression and daily, if not minutely, suicide ideation. Once the anti depressants kicked in I was able to take in more of the book. But couldn’t “activate” theory into actual practice until I got the Fabulous app. I use the app to focus o ideas from the book into actions. My ADHD is under the best control I’ve ever had in my life. I’m on a 44 day habit streak. That’s 41 days longer than my precious best lifetime best. 😂

Can’t Hurt Me

Helps me build up a fighting spirit on day days. Book not audio. I dip in and out. He is my personal arse kicker when I just want to let the ADHD take over and run me, rather than the other way around.

Beware the fury of a patient man

The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of low price is forgotten.

If something's worth doing, it's worth doing badly.

Meaning that things don't have to be perfect. You can make bad art - it's still worth it if it makes you happy. You can go for a five-minute run - it's still worth it if it gets your heart beating for a bit. People (i.e. me) hold themselves back from things out of fear they won't be good enough. Well, average is often fine.

I saw a book in a bookshop. The title spoke to me - it spoke so clearly to me that I didn't feel the need to buy the book.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

It reminded me of a passage from Dune:

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

In Dune, I think it begins with I must not feel fear, but I disagree with that. Fear exists. True courage is not the lack of fear, but the persistence to go ahead despite feeling fear. What I take from those two quotations is that fear exists but does not rule me. I can take control.

I am still a timid, easily frightened person - but I do a heck of a lot more and enjoy a heck of a lot more. And am less frightened as well, because I know I can do it anyway and when I look back the fear will have been replaced by my self-belief.

Travel as much as you can while you are young, fit & healthy
From someone who was not in this position any longer

I can't remember which one, but in a Dick Francis novel the lead character muses about life in that it is best to climb as high as you can and admire the view you have from there, rather than be disappointed you didn't get any further.
Something like that, anyway. Always resonated with me.

Worrying doesn't stop bad things happening. It just stops you enjoying the good things.

Don't take criticism from anyone you wouldn't take advice from (I saw this one on MN)

Books-wise, anything by Cheryl Strayed. Her books have really helped me in lots of ways.

Future is only ever imagined.

Negativity is never the optimum way of dealing with any situation.

Focus on what is working.