Guy I am good friends with we always flirt and have a laugh. Nothing has happened between us, but always a flirty vibe. Friends for years. Text multiple times a day and see each other weekly or more.
We are active on dating sites with no luck. Think I have feelings, but not sure if it’s cause I connect with him or fancy him. He ticks the boxes and we enjoy the same things, but I think we have been friends for too long. He went through a traumatic break up early last year which I supported and is starting to date.
Last week he told me he had a fling with a distant mutual female friend months ago. He kept it secret from me. She wanted a relationship and he just wanted a fling. He told me he ended it as this friend was jealous of our friendship. She stopped really interacting with me round this point, but I didn’t really think anything of it, as we were not close and in lockdown. Not sure why he told me. I asked to see the texts and she was horrible about me. She has been friends with him for a while and even been out socialising with us, with no issues.
She Accused him of sleeping with me and trying to stop him seeing me. He was delicate after his break up And I think she took advantage of his needy state and pounced - well he was no angel too.
Apparently she had turned into a mini stalker and would drive past my house and stalk me on Facebook and question him on what we were doing, trying to stop him seeing keg. I always wondered why she also phoned when he was with me.
It ended month before Xmas and he blocked her - was only a few months of seeing each other for sex every 2 weeks or so. She contacted him again at Xmas and went mental even though the hadn’t talked for ages as we spent the day together as friends and she saw this on Facebook. Her mutual friends showed her this.
He has told me yesterday when he goes on dates he always tells people about our friendship. Says I am his most loyal friend and if no one can’t understand it then he doesn’t want to date them. Wants to ensure his dates are happy with a female best friend before anything happens. It’s a bit weird to do this, as if I was the date I wouid be suspicious.
He says a few people have had an issue and as I am important to him, they either accept me or leave or he hasn’t taken it further. I did tell him the other day that if our friendship is stopping him finding happiness then we see less of each other as it will naturally happen. He disagreed. He then joked that in a few years time if we are single we will move in together, life pact.
He has essentially blocked himself from dating because of me. I was starting to think he had feelings, but keeps texting me to say he values me as a friend and I will always be in his life. Always uses the friend word.
So what does this mean? I have distanced myself last day or so as the mini stalking news made me feel uncomfortable. I have never been a threat to others - I am nothing special.
Have I been friend zoned as he has texted me loads to say I am his most valued and respected friend. Sort of mini panic or is he setting the scene? He is not the best as being direct, so sometimes I have to read between the lines.
Help me understand!