AIBU to be nervous about a return to work from sick leave?

[baconroll12]

I was signed off my work for almost three months and I'm due to go back on Monday. The doctor knew I needed a break but is now of the view that I need the routine. I'm straight back to full time as she didn't think a phased return was a good idea.

I'm so nervous about going back. I haven't had any communication with my line manager after the first week I was off apart from me emailing her my return to work date two weeks ago (she prefers email as she moves around different workplaces and isn't based in one place to call). I won't see my manager on my return as she's offsite.

In the first week, one of my colleagues text me asking how long I expected to be off for and she indicated my line manager has told her what was wrong with me. It's private but I know my line manager has no discretion. I've not heard from anyone since and I'm worried about the kind of reception I'm going to get when I go back. Either they'll all be pissed off they were short staffed for so long or they'll be asking intrusive questions.

Anyone been off for a long period of time and got any tips??

I was off recently for four months and literally no one asked anything, just had lots of “happy to see you’re back and well” comments. It’ll probably be far easier than you’re building it up to in your head.

@VariationsonaTheme

I was off recently for four months and literally no one asked anything, just had lots of “happy to see you’re back and well” comments. It’ll probably be far easier than you’re building it up to in your head.

this is very reassuring- thank you!

askamanager.org has some good advice if you look on there.
I'd go with a divert answer, I'm happy to be back, can you get me up to speed, rather than talking about your leave.

I returned after 3 months off and everyone was just happy to see me, treated me the same as anybody who had been off for illness/project work/holiday/maternity leave or any other reason. No problems.

I was a ball of anxiety about it beforehand though, so I totally empathise.

It's important to remember most people are largely thinking about themselves, and the passage of time is less distinct to them, particularly with things like Christmas in the middle. 3 months ago to me now doesn't seem long at all in a work context.

Most people will be absolutely fine (or at least keep any thoughts to themselves), so don't worry too much.

Perhaps prepare an answer for any more awkward questions, and the odd brush-off for anyone who is unpleasant (eg if they criticise how long you were off: "I'll be sure to consult you as well as my GP another time"). If anyone says anything indicating they've been told what was wrong with you, perhaps a comment along the lines of "I don't remember telling you the reason" might make them realise that they should not have been privy to that information and shut them up. (Your line manager should NOT have been sharing confidential information, and really ought to be pulled up on it.)

I had 3 months off for stress about 5 years ago and it was absolutely fine. My direct manager was mortified she hadn’t realised how I’d been feeling prior to that and everyone else was just really nice about me returning. No different to my maternity leaves

Fake it it until you make it op!😊
Go in cool,head up,smile,friendly,polite confident,but away any unwanted questions with let's leave that in the past,it wasn't pleasant.They will take your lead and react accordingly.You can do this.💐

My colleague was off for a long time and came back and I just happy for her to be back. Less lonely and someone to share the work with, it could be me one day so never had a bad thought about it. There is more going on in people's life than we see.

This is all really helpful- thanks so much!

I'm already not sleeping because I'm worrying about it and there's still a few days to go!