AIBU to think it's me?

[ohffsitsme]

When I went to school I had a best friend. She was like a sister to me and we where always together. When she went to university we drifted apart as friends do.
She went to university and I was a teen mum to a baby with special needs. I wasn't there for her when I should of been, she reached out and I rarely got back to her as I had PND and wasn't coping very well. (That's on me I know not her)
Then I developed pretty bad mental health issues which is no excuse but I reached out to her and then stopped stupidly as I got anxious incase she didn't want me in her life anymore and was to polite to say. (She's very much that type she's very kind hearted.)

I've recently gotten better in myself it's taken me six years as I had a massive knock back a few years ago.
I've tried my best to be in contact with her to the best of my ability as I don't deal with texts/messages/phone calls well due to anxiety little comments here and there. Sometimes get repiles, sometimes not.

Now I've never had a bad word to say about her. I still love her very much and wish her truly the best. I really regret my behaviour now I'm better and can see what I've done.
But would it be weird to reach out and apologise? Or if it was you would you tell this person whose done nothing to push you away through no fault of your own to fuck off?

What would you apologise for? You've done nothing wrong. Neither has she as I presume she was very busy with Uni too. You've just grown apart. It's a completely normal and natural process when people grow up and loves go in different directions. By all means get in touch with her again but don't apologise for anything!

I don't think you owe her an apology at all!

But if you got in touch and explained why you weren't in touch for a long time, and that you still think of her and would love to meet up for a coffee and catch up, she might let you know whether she's in the right place to do that or not.

If she's not, this doesn't mean you've done anything wrong, but as you said people move on, and change, and sometimes an old friend is better left in lovely memory that getting back in touch and it all not working out.

I hope you are able to get back in touch with her OP.

Why don’t you write her a letter saying what you’ve said here? She’ll either be happy to hear from you and contact you and you can go from there, or she’ll ignore you but at least you’ll know you’ve done everything you can and can move on.

I would say though that childhood friendships where the children took very different paths in life often don’t last, and the people find they have little common ground as adults. But you’ll never know until you try.

We still have a lot in common. She doesn't have a family but we have a big major interest we both still share. I don't live locally to her anymore but when I visit my family I can meet up.

Thanks everyone, I think I may reach out and see what happens. You've given me a bit more confidence.

I think it would be nice for her to know you weren’t rejecting her friendship

You don't owe an apology but an explanation might go a long way.

However, if you dont do communication very well then I'm not sure how you can keep in touch with her.

Definitely no need to apologise. I would keep touching base and see where it leads.

My best friend and I grew apart after uni. We got back in touch after my divorce and are now closer than ever. Just talk to your friend.