New nursery - AIBU?

[Maimaimai]

My 4 year old DD has just started a new private nursery for one afternoon a week. She is going for 5 mornings to a state nursery. This new nursery is Ofstead rated Outstanding and has been recommended to me by a few parents who had their children there.

However, ever since I got in touch with them the communication is very poor. No one answers the phone.. ever, emails get answered by different people with literally one line...no hello or good bye..plus the communication between staff is poor as I get different answers from different people about the same thing. However, given the rave reviews I got from parents and the fact that it's pretty close to us, I decided to take DD there.

Today was our first afternoon. I was greeted by a lady who had no clue who we were and why we were there. 10 mins of waiting and they took DD in, DD was happy and I had a lovely, productive afternoon.

At pick up, DD seemed happy and the same lady gave me a bit of feedback and told me how amazing she did, all went well and DD played with a few children.

2 hours later my DD told me that she had an accident, one boy bumped into her and gave her a bump on her head. Apparently they both cried, the boy was more sore than her but I can see she has a red bump on the side of her head. I'm quite frankly furious! Shouldn't they have mentioned that to me at pick up? She had a little accident before at the other nursery and they brought it up at pick up and explained what happened. AIBU to expect some feedback when something like this happens? It seems this nursery doesn't like communication.

On the communication, I’d give it time and see if things improve, it might have been an off day.

The bump on the head is more worrying. Our nursery does an accident form at the end of the day, and gives you a ring during the day about anything head-related. They should have procedures for that sort of thing.

I would get the full story rather than take the word of a 4 year old.

However, I would be concerned that 2 HOURS later there's a red bump. If that's the case it must have been quite a knock.

I think they should tell you re bumped head. It doesn’t sound like a good fit. You need to be happy and trust them. One afternoon is very hard on dc to understand routine, make friends. She’s always going to be on periphery or at risk of being overlooked eg only child not dressed up as you’ve not seen sign on door etc.

@WhatAHexIGotInto I'd have ignored what she said if I didn't see the bump. Must have been quite bad

Surely it’s pretty unsettling doing 5 mornings one place 1 afternoon somewhere else and I guess starting a new school in sept

@OnceuponaRainbow18 she is up for anything. We are always out after nursery until 5-6 pm, plus she has afternoon classes twice a week. She has a lot of mental energy and was really excited about this place

You need to ask them about the head injury. I think the Standard should be that they should call you about any head injuries and give you an accident form at pick up (and an explanation about what happened, what first aid they offered and if there is anything they will do next time to avoid it. They can't say nothing! But like pp I wouldn't take the word of a 4year old entirely in face value

You need to let them know about the head bump

Thank you everyone, I've just emailed them x

I would speak to them before feeling furious about it. The ratios for 3/4 year olds are something like 6-1 so they aren’t going to witness every single bump. Maybe the boy cried but maybe he couldn’t articulate what had happened or gave the staff a different story. Maybe your DD told them she was fine and they couldn’t find a bump. 4 year old minds can put an interesting spin on most situations. My son told me he got into trouble for hitting a staff member, I was mortified until I spoke to said staff member and she had no idea what I was talking about!

I think that communication at nurseries can be really poor. However, I would expect to be told about an accident and sign a form so either that was missed at collection and you’ll get it next time or else the injury wasn’t noticed.

I think you need to allow a while to settle in and one session a week might take a longer settle in than normal.

@bitchinofhitchen the bump is what concerned me rather than what she said. Although what she says is usually right. She doesn't talk much about her nursery, it's only when something really exciting or really negative happens.

You're being ridiculous. Try being a nursery worker with 4 kids minimum to each staff member. Kids get bumps. Nothing malicious there (like biting which isn't malicious really but they'll generally always tell you about it). You sound stuck up. Private nursery. Outstanding. Other parents rave and your daughter was happy. It's not a business designed to please parents via email. It's designed to keep kids safe and happy. My daughter gets bumps constantly at home because she's a baby and I can't hover over her everyday. Why would I expect it to be different at nursery when there's also other kids there who are still learning to control their bodies.

@Tomlettegregg calm down dear, honestly

@Tomlettegregg I expect a nursery to let me know when there is an injury. That's why I'm paying them. I expect minimum communication too, nurseries should not be allowed to function understaffed.

I would expect a call or if it's very close to home time then mention it then alongside an accident form to sign and you keep one copy.
That's always the standard practice when the dc have been at nursery.
Usually the phone call starts with "no need to worry but dc has had a little bunp/fall/accident. Had a cuddle and a few tears and is fine and back running around"
I would try to ring them tomorrow. Avoid drop off times if you can as it's always a bit busy

I think you're perfectly reasonable in expecting to be told about an injury - especially a head bump which was significant enough to leave a mark!

If your daughter is aged 4 & already attends nursery 5 mornings per week, I'd probably not bother with this 1 afternoon a week nursery - surely she'll be starting school in a matter of months anyway. I'd either enjoy the time at home with her or find an activity/class/play session to go to instead. This 'outstanding' nursery doesn't sound any more outstanding than any other nursery & 1 afternoon for a few months won't make much difference at this stage anyway. 🤷‍♀️

@gingerbiscuits I registered her for this afternoon as she is very active, she likes activities and I couldn't find anything else suitable for her in addition to the afternoon classes she is already doing. I'm not sending her for the 'Outstanding' credentials of the nursery, although this helped my decision. I'm at a loss sometimes in the afternoons as she only likes social kind of stuff and I thought a nursery setting will fulfill that need.

@Maimaimai

Ah, I see. That's tricky then. Totally understand wanting to keep her active & social if she's up for it. Mine were the same - didn't like being cooped up at home on their own for too long & a lot of organised sports/clubs etc didn't start till at least age 5.

Hopefully the better weather will mean you can get out to parks etc & maybe sort out some regular playdates with other children who'll be starting school with her in Sept?

She'll be in school before you know it & her social life/activities will have you running round all over the place!

@gingerbiscuits yes, it is tricky as I didn't necessarily want her to go to another nursery. But it seems it's the best thing for a child like her. I wanted her to go somewhere where she is looked after whilst she socialises with other children. Lots of them are her age, coming from a different pre school for the afternoon sessions.