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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not let DS6 watch 12 rated films

67 replies

MrsMillhouse · 24/02/2022 18:40

DS6 goes to after school and breakfast club.

They ask parents to sign a permission slip to allow kids to watch 12 rated films. DH and I haven’t signed it as we are a bit worried they might scare him.

It turns out that most of his wee pals parents have signed the form and they can watch 12 rated films.

Are we being too strict?

OP posts:

Lou98 · 24/02/2022 21:19

I would imagine it will be the likes of the marvel movies which are mostly 12's I'm sure.

Personally, I would be okay with it as I would trust that they're picking suitable films for the age group.
However, obviously what's classed as suitable differs for everyone so if you're not comfortable then don't sign it

EdithRea · 24/02/2022 21:21

Not at all, that's totally unreasonable. There are plenty of films to show a little 6 year old without showing them 12s. I'd be reconsidering the club if they're that bloody thick.

There's no need to show little children 12s; the higher rated HP films have it because there are deaths, visible injuries and ever-present threat. They're not for 6 year olds. 12 rated films can include at least one F-work, references to sexual assault and quite intense levels of violence so long as there is no blood. The adult Batman films are 12s.

RightOnTheEdge · 24/02/2022 21:22

I let my kids watch 12 films they are 9 and 10 but my ds9 has been watching Marvel films for a while which are mostly 12a so I'm not super strict but I know that they would be fine with the films and not be scared.

I think though that YANBU.
A setting like that should be sticking to the rules. As PPs have said there are loads of U and PG films they could watch and 6 is still very young and no where near 12 obviously.
It's very inappropriate!

AlabamaWorleyyy · 24/02/2022 21:24

If they’re watching 12s when they’re 6 then what will be they be watching by the time they’re 12?! I thought I was a bit lax letting my 10 year old watch 12s! No way should a school setting be doing this!

Bunnycat101 · 24/02/2022 21:27

No I wouldn’t allow it for mine. I’d also be sending an email to the governors asking if they were ok with it. The provider has to be mindful of the youngest ones in their care and that does not include 12 certificate films.

labyrinthlaziness · 24/02/2022 21:31

This is really weird, I would not sign and tbh would lose confidence in the setting.

There are loads offline PG films.

Who runs the club? I'd complain to the provider.

Kite22 · 24/02/2022 21:35

@Bagelsandbrie

I think the difficulty is that if everyone else has said yes and you say no you might ostracise him from his peers. I’d just go with it personally.

The point is, they shouldn't be asking.

What is the point in them even having a rating on films if professional childcarers think they can just ignore them.

Of course YANBU. I would not only not sign, but I would take it up with the management as to what they were thinking in even suggesting it, partly for the reasons Bagels has pointed out, that there will be some parents who just sign it without even thinking about how many dc will be upset by being shown films that aren't suitable for them, but partly through what on earth they are thinking about.

AlabamaWorleyyy · 24/02/2022 21:52

Also, on the point about being ostracised from his peers…. what?! At 6 years old?! Surely adults have to protect children and make decisions on their behalf at this age, not just go along with the majority! It’s different when they’re 14, but not at 6!

MaChienEstUnDick · 24/02/2022 21:58

I think you should do more than not sign the form, I think you should raise it formally with the ASC. My DS watched a Potter film that he was too young for (completely my fault, we were at a friend's house and I didn't realise the film's rating) - he got very scared, swore off HP and has literally never looked at a HP book or film since.

It's also massively easier to hold the line on all sorts of age-rated things if you are always consistent. Children ask for a lot of things through the years and it's soooooo much easier if they know the first words out of your mouth are going to be 'what's the age rating? And are you that age, hmmm?'

There's NO need for a childcare setting to be showing non-age appropriate films. It means that DCs like yours will be ostracised, everyone will have a harder job parenting, and fgs, it's a childcare setting, they kind of need to be following the rules! I'd complain and I'm not one of life's complainers.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 24/02/2022 22:03

Yanbu. 6 is young. They're being ridiculous.

My 10yo is OK with Harry Potter (he wouldn't have been at 6 though) but even now I wouldn't sign off on a generic 'can watch 12-rated films' permission slip. It's a case by case basis IMO, which is why it might work at home but not in a childcare setting!

Bakewelltart987 · 24/02/2022 22:39

@MrsMillhouse

I think the only 12 films that they actually watch are Harry Potter films (which, I’ve never seen!)

Harry potter films are scary for little dc the first 1 is fine and a pg I think, my dd 6 can watch that but no others.

SmallestInTheClass · 24/02/2022 22:43

At 9 or 10 and watching at home with parents around, I'd be OK with it, but there's no reason at all to need this in childcare. It's very unreasonable for them to think it is OK. I'd approach the school governors (I'm a governor and would take something like this very seriously).

TabithaHazel · 24/02/2022 22:45

If you trust the after school club to look after your kid then you should trust them to choose appropriate films. If you don't trust them you shouldn't be sending your child there in the first place.

ldontWanna · 24/02/2022 22:48

What is the film?

What's the exact set up of the ASC? Is it on school premises? Is it manned by school staff or an external provider? Are the kids mixed ages(reception to y6)? Is this a one off or a regular thing? Who picked the movie?

Kerrie21 · 24/02/2022 22:58

You've just made me realise, my nursery showed my (and other) 3 year olds a PG movie with no parent consent.

Kite22 · 24/02/2022 23:34

@TabithaHazel

If you trust the after school club to look after your kid then you should trust them to choose appropriate films. If you don't trust them you shouldn't be sending your child there in the first place.

Firstly, ASC isn't something there usually is a choice about - you go to the one at your school. You can't 'shop about', and if you work and no CMers locally have spaces, then that is it. However anyone providing a professional childcare service should not be suggesting doing any activity that is not recommended for children of the age they are looking after. Yes, we should be able to trust an after school club to make sound decisions, but it seems in this case they have proved that they are not able to make sensible choices, so therefore it is right that any parent challenges them on it.

Babyfg · 25/02/2022 00:02

I wasn't allowed to show a pg in my year one class (fundraising where the class project was to create a cinema and raise funds with tickets and snacks). We are only allowed to show a pg film for educational purposes with parental permission. It's quite shocking they would consider showing the class a 12 rated film

labyrinthlaziness · 25/02/2022 05:38

@TabithaHazel

If you trust the after school club to look after your kid then you should trust them to choose appropriate films. If you don't trust them you shouldn't be sending your child there in the first place.

Just because you send a child somewhere doesn't mean you have to passively accept everything thye do. There is supposed to be a relationship between parents and providers.

PerditaPerdita · 25/02/2022 06:32

You should be requesting a meeting with the head. Go in as a couple if possible (I know this shouldn't make a difference, but sadly it often does). Ask why you're being asked to give permission for your child to watch films legally restricted to kids twice his age, who are at puberty and young teens and not kids in the same way.

It might not just be Harry Potter. It could involve sexual inappropriacy, violence, swearing, threat of danger and other very frightening things for a 6 year old.

No way would I let my 6 year old watch Potter. There's some very dark and disturbing scenes in there.

They should be rescinding the permission from everyone and giving assurance that they will not show 12 films.

Yes what ARE they thinking of? What would the regulators/LEA think? I'd honestly be ready to report them for this.

It might not be your son who's traumatised, but others could be. Or he might be but it only comes out later. A risk absolutely not to be taken.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 25/02/2022 07:23

I Wouldn't sign a blanket permission form and my eldest is 10. (Specific ones for a certain film maybe).
I have noticed though that many parents see their child's ability to "cope" with a 12 film or game as a sign of their advancement and maturity.

Imonlyhereforthehandwringing · 25/02/2022 07:26

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Aren't most 12 movies produced in the last decade 12a? Which means suitable for under 12s at parental discretion?

20 years actually.

12A means kids under 12 can watch it with parental guidance.

I'd be surprised if your 6YO could sit through Harry Potter TBH. Mine was struggle with Clifford the Big Red Dogs run time.

Oneborneverydecade · 25/02/2022 07:33

@Lulu1919

We are not allowed to show anything other than U in our school R to Year 8 I think Year 8 watched a PG due to a history project but we got permission from parents

Isn't yr 8 12 yo anyway? So basically they're only allowed to watch the tamest Disney animations up to and including 12yo?

MinnieMountain · 25/02/2022 07:40

Our 8yo got a bit scared by scenes in a PG Indiana Jones film. There’s no way we’d allow him to watch a 12.

ClariceQuiff · 25/02/2022 07:43

Seems bonkers to me - I'd have thought this sort of scenario was the whole point of having age ratings.

Individual families will know their children well enough to judge what films might be OK but the rating means that the film is unlikely to be appropriate for an average under-12.

JodyAteApples · 25/02/2022 07:45

Primary schools usually opt for a U or a PG at worst. A 12? No way should that be in an ASC for potential 4 and 5 year olds. Will they now be excluded? So some children get to watch movies but not these ones because their parents said no?

I would be asking the school if they are aware of this.

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