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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MiL wording

8 replies

NameChangeCity123 · 24/02/2022 14:27

Please tell me if IABU but I'm getting mighty pi*d off with my mil and the way she words things. We already have a difficult relationship and today she's just irritating me.

She Has not seen my baby in weeks, which is the norm- fine. Asked to come and take him a walk- we're in Scotland and it's yellow weather warning. Was snowing this morning and is currently snowing again. Didn't think it was a good idea but DH said fine, he can go in between as it was sunny enough earlier to have melted the first snow and the second lit was due at 2 (it's on now). Had baby in pram suit, fur lining for pram, hat, rain cover etc. Choose your battles and all that..

She went the walk and then stood in the main stair for half an hour letting all the heat out of our flat, talking to DH. I'm in the bath. She Didn't want to come in, needed to get home before the snow came on etc. DH meant to be working from home, his phone is pretty much constantly ringing and she's never once said 'I'll let you go etc'

Then says to DH 'I would have taken baby on the bus to your sisters but it's snowing.' There was no asking, she was telling him. His sister lives in a different council and it would be two buses and an hour and a half EACH WAY to get there on the bus. He's 8 months. I don't think so.

Then mentioned an upcoming meet up with her, me, SIL and BiLs girlfriend. DH said oh it'll be boys day for me and the baby then. Mil then says 'oh no, he will be coming with us, to see all the female relatives and get kisses and cuddles' again- telling not asking. Still all the while letting my heating waft out the flat- electric heaters so not costing the bloody earth or anything....

AIBU to be hacked off with comments like this or am I reading into it too much cause of our already tense relationship? We are civil and if anyone walked in on us chatting, I guarantee they would have no idea there was an issue but it's still underlying.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 24/02/2022 14:30

I would be very alarmed that she would have taken your baby to your SIL without asking first. You can't trust her, and I wouldn't allow these unattended walks again.

NameChangeCity123 · 24/02/2022 14:40

@Aquamarine1029

I would be very alarmed that she would have taken your baby to your SIL without asking first. You can't trust her, and I wouldn't allow these unattended walks again.
Thank you, honestly I was worried I was reading too much into it due to our relationship but I rally think that's over stepping by a long way. If she had done that I would genuinely have driven there and brought the baby back in the car and that would have been the end of it
OP posts:
Mummy1608 · 24/02/2022 14:45

@Aquamarine1029

I would be very alarmed that she would have taken your baby to your SIL without asking first. You can't trust her, and I wouldn't allow these unattended walks again.
I agree with this.

I think you need to get DH to see your point of view otherwise this is just going to get worse

Creeeper · 24/02/2022 14:49

Why didn’t your husband shut the door instead of blaming her for standing with the door open?

I think the sil bus thing is weird but the other comment was fine

NameChangeCity123 · 24/02/2022 14:51

@Creeeper

Why didn’t your husband shut the door instead of blaming her for standing with the door open?

I think the sil bus thing is weird but the other comment was fine

Honestly I don't know- in fairness I agree he should have and he should also have said he was busy working. I think both comments are presumptive and if she had take my son without asking she wouldn't be getting left with him again. There's a history of her being manipulative (crying to DH about me etc) and honestly he just can't see it, it's so frustrating
OP posts:
NameChangeCity123 · 24/02/2022 14:53

@Mummy1608 I know but he honestly just can't see it. There's been a history of her manipulating him and he just doesn't get it. I'm continuously working hard to put boundaries in place and it seems like she gets round them every time. I feel like I'm glowing massively controlling just to be able to put basic boundaries in place which should be common sense

OP posts:
twilightcustard · 24/02/2022 16:13

I think you sound very petty altogether.

NameChangeCity123 · 24/02/2022 16:13

@twilightcustard

I think you sound very petty altogether.
Fair enough
OP posts:
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