Need an outside view as I'm not sure what i'm doing wrong, or if my dh is over reacting
Background:
2 small children (1 6year old, 1 10 month old, i have just returned to work from mat leave)
We both work full time. Dh works shifts and his job is very much more reactive. He will into work but if he doesn't get called out on a job he will sit around not really doing a lot. The shift work is hard as it involves a lot of nights, however some of his nights can be short (11 - 3)
I work in an office based role, wfh 4 days a week with 1 day in the office. Am contracted for 8 hours a day. Have a degree of flexibility and have agreed with my manager that I can work around school and nursery drop offs/pick ups. This generally means I start work around 9, have minimal breaks in the day, take a lunch at 3 to pick children up (30 - 45 mins) and will then log on when I get back until 5pm ish.
In reality after 4pm I don't get a lot done. Eldest can entertain themselves with toys/tv/homework for an hour but youngest obviously can't and has also dropped their third nap so they are needing entertaining/looking after etc.
If dh isn't on nights he will look after them so I can finish work. However when he is on nights he is usually trying to sleep, so I end up fining work at 4, but then log on after they have gone to bed.
Dh gets annoyed that when he is at home (either on days off or up for lunch when on nights) I don't always come and sit with him to have lunch/talk/watch tv. Sometimes I do bring the laptop out of the dedicated office space we have set up, but today I had calls from 11 - 3 so really didn't have chance and he got the hump. Then when DC were in bed and I had done all of the housework I logged on for an hour as agreed, he accused me of being obsessed with work and putting everything before him.
To me when wfh, for the hours I am working I am working! I will stop for 5 mins here and there to get a drink, maybe put a load of washing on or load the tumble dryer, but I'm working.
Dh seems to think I can just sit and check emails from my phone while sitting with him and ita driving me mad that he doesn't seem to take it seriously!