To be a bit put out?

[WhackingPhoenix]

Namechanged.

DP’s birthday is soon, he’s invited friends to go out drinking for the afternoon. He wanted it to be just him and his mates but his friend has invited his girlfriend along (DP doesn’t really know her but was too polite to say it was mates only, and now others are inviting their partners along too), so I said I might as well come out but DP doesn’t really want me to. We normally socialise all together so I was a little surprised he doesn’t want me there. AIBU to feel a bit hurt? I feel a bit childish being upset not to be invited but I can’t put my finger on why I’m a bit hurt. I get on very well with all DP’s mates and get invited to pretty much everything so they’re bound to ask why I’m not there

I dont understand why you dont understand why your upset.
Of course you are everyone else is going as couples and your dp doesn't want you there. I think most people would find thus deeply hurtful.

@Ohmygodyesthatsit

I dont understand why you dont understand why your upset. Of course you are everyone else is going as couples and your dp doesn't want you there. I think most people would find thus deeply hurtful.

Everyone isn’t going as a couple, this one friend has assumed he can bring his partner and DP hasn’t said otherwise. A couple of his other friends have now commented on the FB event asking to bring partners but he’s not said anything. I imagine they’ll just turn up with them tbh

Bit annoying that he hasn’t told his friend no partners, but won’t let you come. One thing if it’s loads only, but if he doesn’t mind other girlfriends being there why should he mind you.

But odd if you ask me.

That said spending an afternoon with a bunch of drunken lads doesn’t sound like much fun. I’d rather do something enjoyable by myself or with a friend.

Jesus YANBU at all! That's horrible! Please don't marry him!

If it’s one friend bringing a partner then YABU. If it’s all of them, then you are YANBU.

It's really weird to specifically not want you there, especially if other partners are going (no matter how many). I'd be pissed off if this was me.

I just asked him outright 😂 he had a good moan about his mate bringing his girlfriend and said he’d rather nobody else did, then said he wouldn’t actually mind me coming but he can’t really say I can and none of the others.

I feel a bit better about it now, he never excludes me from plans but I just think he doesn’t want to have to justify me coming and nobody else’s partners. The woman who is coming is a bit of a drip who doesn’t like her partner going out without her

He needs to tell his mate it's a men only event.

The thing that makes it difficult is one of his closest friends IS a woman (she’s also my close friend and it’s nothing like that!) so the ‘lads only’ thing is a bit blurred

I can’t believe I’m describing my ultra nerdy DP as a ‘lad’ either

Good god if it’s mates only it’s mates only , if you go out and Pete brings his gf it’s no longer mates only so he says to Pete don’t bring gf or it’s fine to bring other half’s .

Yanbu. It's either only mates or mates and partners. It's not fair for some partners to go and some not to go.

Yes, he needs to speak up and make his wishes clear. I wouldn't be impressed by his excuse, tbh. If he doesn't want anyone but friends there, he needs to say so, otherwise it's a free-for-all. People won't read his mind.