I’m having an issue and not sure if IABU, how to approach this issue.
DH and I are married 25 years this year. For various reasons, we didn’t have a wedding when we got married. We were young and had no money. I moved from abroad to come here to marry my DH, could not work until married (fiancée visa). I had worked 2 jobs for a year to save up the money to come her. Was also a single mother who didn’t get any child support. Had to fight a custody battle with DC father after he changed his mind last minute about allowing me to move abroad with DC (was a ploy to give up all his parental rights and requirement for child support). My DH and I are different religions. Our parents are not religious but became religious as to one reason why neither set of parents wanted us to marry.
I was heart broken at no wedding as my sisters have all had elaborate weddings, engagement parties, bridal showers etc all paid for by my parents. Nothing for me, except they did fly over to attend. Nothing in my home country either, which I’d asked for a blessing in our own church. My parents refused.
Now after 25 years, we are in a financial positions to finally be a party. We’re not renewing vows but having an anniversary party, however, I’d like as much as we can towards a wedding that we ever got to have. And I’ll confess, as I’d always dreamed up but realising I’m now too old for everything (sadly, too old for a wedding dress and bouquet). We will have a cake (always my dream), we will have speeches and we will have a photographer.
I have invited my family from abroad. They are all seasoned travellers who regularly go abroad for holidays. Far flung places too. They have passports, know how to book flights, know how to travel. Very experienced.
Have repeatedly asked them over months to please book their flights. I cannot plan accommodation for them, airport pick ups, transportation to/from venue (which is an hour from my home). We are talking 8 people, in addition to other friends who are coming from my home country who have booked their flights months ago, so keen are they to come visit and attend our party. So I don’t know if I need to book a few taxis, a mini can or a coach. Hundreds of pounds difference between these options. I made tentative bookings which have been cancelled as they now have confirmed (paid deposits) bookings. Hotels are now getting booked out by other events.
I have begged, chased, asked repeatedly. Did research for their flights.
Nothing.
I’m shortly having to provide seating plans, food choices etc to venue plus order printed items such as name place cards, menu and seating plan.
There are no financial issues. There are no health issues. They’re not afraid of covid (they have traveled and flown during the last year).
IABU to set a time limit on their booking their flights and telling them their inaction is an action of telling me they’re not coming and I will move on making plans with those people who have made commitment to come?