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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stranger picked baby niece up.

37 replies

Whiskersonkittens21 · 22/02/2022 23:43

I was out for a meal with my 10 month old niece today, my mum, my dad and my partner. As I walked in and said Hello to my niece a lady from a couple tables over shouted over "she's coming home with me". I have anxiety so a stranger talking to me would set me on edge anyway so I just laughed and sat down. My mum and dad went up to the bar to order so my niece became fussy and began crying as my mum went out of sight. Within seconds this woman swooped over and grabbed my niece out of her high chair and began hugging her. I was literally too stunned to speak. I took her off her and took her away as I was absolutely baffled.

AIBU to think she shouldn't of grabbed her or was this woman just being friendly?

OP posts:
GrowingUpIsATrap · 22/02/2022 23:55

No one should pick up someone else's baby without permission.

SoFriendless · 22/02/2022 23:56

Very odd behaviour of her, you don’t just pick up other peoples babies!

Original poster
Whiskersonkittens21 · 23/02/2022 00:01

Glad I'm not overreacting. It really set my flight or fight mode off as she was really clutching her to her chest and my niece was not happy at all. I wish I'd said something at the time but I was desperately trying to avoid a scene

OP posts:
BearOfEasttown · 23/02/2022 00:02

I'd have probably knocked her out her to be honest. Fucking weirdo. Hmm

ButtercupOfFlorin · 23/02/2022 00:04

Whilst it’s not appropriate, you surely just have realised she wasn’t ACTUALLY gonna kidnap her?

I think many people also don’t realise the a Ute pain loneliness brings.

I am most definitely in the MN minority because I actually enjoyed it when strangers fussed over my babies, stroked their faces and even picked them up - a few times I managed to eat my lunch whilst still hot thanks to women of a certain age having a cuddle

BearOfEasttown · 23/02/2022 00:07

@ButtercupOfFlorin

Whilst it’s not appropriate, you surely just have realised she wasn’t ACTUALLY gonna kidnap her?

I think many people also don’t realise the a Ute pain loneliness brings.

I am most definitely in the MN minority because I actually enjoyed it when strangers fussed over my babies, stroked their faces and even picked them up - a few times I managed to eat my lunch whilst still hot thanks to women of a certain age having a cuddle

Yep you ARE in the minority. Like fuck would I have let some weird random woman, looking for a baby to cuddle, pick my baby up, whilst I drank my cappuccino and ate my teacake! FFS. Just when I thought I had read everything on here. Confused
ButtercupOfFlorin · 23/02/2022 00:09

Oh I’m sorry that I’m not a completely overreacting weirdo who would ‘fucking knock them out’ (which we all know you wouldn’t, unless you’re a complete scally?)

Chonfox · 23/02/2022 00:09

Really weird. Had your mum been chatting to this woman before you arrived? You just don't pick up other people's babies without asking!

Original poster
Whiskersonkittens21 · 23/02/2022 00:10

@Chonfox

Really weird. Had your mum been chatting to this woman before you arrived? You just don't pick up other people's babies without asking!
Nope, she was equally as horrified when I told her.
OP posts:
Kite22 · 23/02/2022 00:14

@ButtercupOfFlorin

Whilst it’s not appropriate, you surely just have realised she wasn’t ACTUALLY gonna kidnap her?

I think many people also don’t realise the a Ute pain loneliness brings.

I am most definitely in the MN minority because I actually enjoyed it when strangers fussed over my babies, stroked their faces and even picked them up - a few times I managed to eat my lunch whilst still hot thanks to women of a certain age having a cuddle

I agree with this.

I mean, it is a bit unusual to pick up the baby if a family member is there, but she was hardly running off with her.

some complete over reaction on here as so often is .

Divebar2021 · 23/02/2022 00:17

It isn’t really weird… it’s slightly disconcerting that’s all. Best you don’t ever visit Italy.

Original poster
Whiskersonkittens21 · 23/02/2022 00:18

@Divebar2021

It isn’t really weird… it’s slightly disconcerting that’s all. Best you don’t ever visit Italy.
I hadn't planned on it. 😂
OP posts:
OhWhyNot · 23/02/2022 00:21

I’m in the minority too

I found it lovely when ds was fussed over that he could make others happy just by smiling he loved the attention I appreciate not all children do. In Italy he was passed around the next table and Turkey helped the waiters serve dinner I was watching all the time nothing sinister was going on at all

The joy and happiness little children and babies bring to adults is something to be celebrated not frowned upon or seen as weird.

Chonfox · 23/02/2022 00:21

I visited Italy when both my DDs were babies and no one did this! No one ever picked them up without asking, no one barely picked them up at all except immediate family - I was so sick of holding them day and night that at one stage I probably would have welcomed this weirdo intervening Grin

BearOfEasttown · 23/02/2022 00:22

@ButtercupOfFlorin

Oh I’m sorry that I’m not a completely overreacting weirdo who would ‘fucking knock them out’ (which we all know you wouldn’t, unless you’re a complete scally?)
Well I must be a complete 'scally' as I WOULD knock someone flat out, if some random weirdo laid a finger on my baby, and tried to pick them up. Yes I really fucking would .

Then again, I have always loved and cared for my children, and take a dim view of complete strangers picking them up and 'cuddling' them. Hmm

FFS, what kind of person thinks this is OK? I sincerely hope you don't have children.

BearOfEasttown · 23/02/2022 00:25

@Chonfox

I visited Italy when both my DDs were babies and no one did this! No one ever picked them up without asking, no one barely picked them up at all except immediate family - I was so sick of holding them day and night that at one stage I probably would have welcomed this weirdo intervening Grin
Exactly! Most people aren't weird enough to pick up a stranger's baby. Nope, not even in ITALY! Hmm

I can't believe this conversation is happening here. Such bollocks. As IF anyone would be OK - in real life - with some random stranger picking their baby up and 'cuddling' it. Do me a fucking favour!

ButtercupOfFlorin · 23/02/2022 00:25

@Divebar2021

It isn’t really weird… it’s slightly disconcerting that’s all. Best you don’t ever visit Italy.
Or Greece!

British people can be strangely uptight about things like this and I really don’t think it does our children any favours at all.

OhWhyNot · 23/02/2022 00:26

BearOfEasttown you are coming over as a totally over the top dramatic mouthy prat 🙄

ButtercupOfFlorin · 23/02/2022 00:28

Well I must be a complete 'scally' as I WOULD knock someone flat out, if some random weirdo laid a finger on my baby, and tried to pick them up. Yes I really fucking would

Yes I’m sure you would approach and middle age woman and assault her so hard she’d be unconscious. Because that actually happens in real life.

Give over, you’d probably sit there with a face like a slapped arse and whinge about it on the internet later.

If you WOULD ‘fucking knock her out’ may I suggest you seek medical help? It’s not normal to want to do that to someone who is not harming you or a loved one in any way.

Divebar2021 · 23/02/2022 00:29

British people can be strangely uptight

And aggressive apparently. I can remember visiting Italy when my DD was about 18 months. I think she got whisked off or picked up by every waiter or waitress we had.

Cissyandflora · 23/02/2022 00:30

@Divebar2021

It isn’t really weird… it’s slightly disconcerting that’s all. Best you don’t ever visit Italy.
Ha yes agree! It’s not horrific, shocking, weird or an offence worthy of being knocked out over. It’s picking up a baby for a cuddle. It wasn’t welcomed and it is overly familiar and a little disconcerting perhaps but now move on. Tomorrow is another day.
GriffinSsoup · 23/02/2022 00:31

@BearOfEasttown - Gosh you sound like some of the thugs in my home town. 😒

Chonfox · 23/02/2022 00:32

Wondering why the Italians didn't deem my babies worthy of being picked up now... Grin

ButtercupOfFlorin · 23/02/2022 00:32

Then again, I have always loved and cared for my children, and take a dim view of complete strangers picking them up and 'cuddling' them

Nope, not even in ITALY!

They really do (some people have left their hometown, just so you know). There are places in the world that are different to your world. You’re welcome.

Oh I must be a terrible mother because I don’t go around assaulting anyone who dares glance at my little Messiah 😂😂

I sincerely hope you don't have children

I do, and they’re independent well rounded happy children who literally never came to any harm interacting with strangers. I wouldn’t go round thumping random people in front of my kids so as not to make them violent, anxious, dysfunctional messes thanks.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 23/02/2022 00:33

You can fuss over a strangers child without picking them up for fucks sake, unless you’re a complete bore I suppose and can’t engage a child?

Not asking is incredibly rude and crossing so many boundaries, imagine if a stranger just came up to you and put their hands all over you, I certainly bet you’d have something to say. Why not advocate that for your child? That’s worrying that you wouldn’t tbh. What else would you let a stranger do to your child just because it “brings joy”.

Loneliness might bring “acute pain” but at the same time you have absolutely no idea what am that family / mother / child is going through, something like this could cause a great deal of upset, so why does strange woman with no boundaries trump that?