To think depression is just something you have to put up with these days

[Anonnyno]

I know I'm depressed. Probably quite significantly for a variety of reasons, including the implosion of my marriage and family, toxic culture at work and the general state of the world. I know I'd never actually attempt suicide though - my fear of death is far too strong.

The usual advice is to have therapy however a) its expensive (and I certainly wouldn't have the surplus cash to "try a few until you find a therapist that's right" as is often advised), b) the more affordable ones are all booked up and c) GPs are waaay to stretched with everything else to find time toget me anything on the NHS (which, from what I hear, would mean sitting on a very long waiting list anyway).

And this really leads me to why I'm posting. I get why all these therapists are booked up, because it isn't just me. Lots and lots and lots of people are suffering at the moment. Not just from the pandemic. From the general state of the world. From the cost of living going up to those with an "I'm alright Jack" attitude of those in charge. There just doesn't seem anything to hope for anymore.

I'm not sure chatting with a professional would even change anything. Someone told me my depression was "situational" - in that my situation is the cause. But if you can't really do anything about said situation, surely you just have to be stoic and try your best to get through the day as best you can? It isn't something you can cure. A shitty situation will make you feel shitty. So I honestly wonder if depression isn't something we should be reframing as something you have to learn to bear as opposed to cure, at least in the current climate?

I hear you.
I am struggling too. Trying therapy (6 free sessions) but not doing anything.
I agree with the 'situational' descriptor although it isn't all situation.

I had this feeling when my mum committed suicide - I was utterly overwhelmed with guilt and sadness, leading to situational depression. I thought nothing could possibly help, really, because it wouldn't make my mum any less tragically dead an do that was the problem, wasn't it? Soldiered on for about 18 mths then had a breakdown. Was prescribed citalopram, which changed my life. Really. Obviously it didn't bring my mum back but it really allowed me to live again, to get out of my pain even if just for moments at a time, to focus, to SLEEP.

Our minds are just machines. Traumas trigger hormonal reactions which can (in some cases)be managed by medication. It was a bit of a terrifying realisation at first, as if "I" wasn't really real, my depression and my grief weren't "real" if they could be so easily allayed by a daily pill. Nowadays I don't care. It works and that's all that matters. Consider it please. It's only one life you live and there are no prizes for being the bravest little toaster who grits their teeth and bears it. Do whatever works.

I think depression because your circumstances are difficult and depression for no good reason are different things. But I do think counselling can help people deal with their feelings.

I sort of know what you mean - if by learn to bear you mean accepting that occasionally you will have bad days and plans won't work out as you expect and that idiot at work isn't going anywhere. I don't agree if you mean just accepting that you will feel rubbish all the time. I think we can hope for more than that from life.

I'd suggest seeing your GP or finding out if your work has any wellness package available which could help you. You can't know it won't help if you haven't tried it.

I'm sorry but i had to come in to say that many therapists offer a free first session. I tried two before deciding on mine and they were free. Otherwise Im sorry and I wish you the very best OP.

If you are in England (maybe Uk-wide) you can self refer for six free CBT sessions, and they usually come through within a month. Worth doing. I've done it twice and both times found it useful.

Agree with PP that if the depression is severe, Citalopram is a bloody godsend. It gave me my life back for a while. (Too long on it is not good news, but to get you through a really tough patch when you can't change yoru circumstances, it might be worth it.)

I also belive in micro-adjustments. You can't change the horrible big stuff, and the small stuff won;t make any difference really but it might give you give minutes break from the stress of the big stuff, so listening to your favourite music every morning, or watching reruns of favourite comedies at night after work, a few healthy food treats, a few small things that brighten life up just give you a tiny break from the relentlessness of the stress. Best of all, a good workout - walk, run, bodyweight HIIT, yoga etc.

No you don’t have to accept or live with depression. Most of the time it is precipitated by stressful events - treatment works for both the ‘endogenous’ and ‘reactive’ kinds. Simple measures like exercise, structuring your day and limiting alcohol can make a big difference to mood as can drawing on social support. CBT helps lots of people with depression and antidepressants to do. You deserve hope , care and feeling back to normal. It is available via primary care.

Sorry meant antidepressants do too not ‘to do’.

@Viviennemary

I think depression because your circumstances are difficult and depression for no good reason are different things. But I do think counselling can help people deal with their feelings.

This.

There is 'shit life syndrome'. Meds might take the edge off, but ultimately talking about things will help. Will help you to reflect and reframe things, and take more control.
Then some depression is just a chemical imbalance that anyone can be struck with.