21st birthday meal

[Flamingosarentreal]

Sil has decided not to attend ds's 21st birthday meal as she concerned about catching covid as she is going to Spain to her holiday home a few days after the meal.
He's her only nephew and we have only seen her a couple of times in the last two years due to her worry over catching covid.
She's not vulnerable nor elderly.
AIBU that's she prioritising a trip she does every year over a family event which will only happen once?

I don’t think you need to do a test for Spain so she would be able to go even if she did catch covid - as long as she wasn’t very unwell with it

She’s not unreasonable though; maybe she just doesn’t want to go and this is her excuse

I mean it won’t really only happen once, he will have plenty of other birthdays. I don’t think many people would prioritise one family dinner for a nephew’s birthday over a holiday so you’re being pretty unreasonable in that expectation.
I can’t imagine many 21 year olds would care either, the party with their friends will surely be their priority.

I think you’re being a bit precious, sorry.

I wonder if it’s because of new rules that people with Covid don’t need to isolate. From my point of view it makes going to restaurant noticeably less safe. I’m not elderly nor vulnerable but I don’t want to catch Covid and have CV family member. We are going for a weekend away in a month, other people are involved and it’s quite expensive so I’m planning to scale down all activities as much as possible about a week before. You don’t need to be elderly or vulnerable to be worried about Covid, there are lots of reasons why people are careful. It also might be health anxiety or she could have health issues you are not aware about .
Of course she might be not keen on seeing you. Has she been out and about a lot recently?

Does your ds care?

i would be a bit miffed too but thats just me - is she is close to your ds or does she regularly always prioritise her own plans? if she does then sometimes we just have to accept that some people dont want to have the same type of relationship with us or our children as we may wish that they had.

It's up to her what she prioritises. She's probably missed out on other things too.

I expect flights have been booked and given no self isolation I can understand someone reducing or eliminating contacts before such a journey.

I'm sure your DS will cope without his aunty.

looks like undecided1985 and I are in the minority

Does your DS care if his aunt is at his 21st? Surely he's more bothered about going out with mates at his age!

Tbh I think if I'd booked and paid for a long awaited holiday I wouldn't want to risk any socialising the week before. It's probably cost her a fair bit.

I really wouldn’t care either way about extended family at a 21st birthday meal. I certainly wouldn’t think it was obligatory. Is your DS actually bothered about having his aunt there? It’s not like it’s his wedding or something. I don’t really think 21 is a massive deal these days anyway - I think most people see 18 as the ‘special’ birthday.