BF Talking to Mutual Friends About My Children AIBU?

[Spitspatspot]

Met BF of three years through an activity my DC do. Had been at the club for over a year before we got together, and became friends with the club leaders (married couple) who were also friends with BF for many years prior.
BF and I have a good relationship - our children all get on well together, etc. but I sometimes feel like we don’t have a very ‘deep’ relationship, as he doesn’t really chat to me much about what’s going on in his life apart from a quick ‘how was your day’ conversation, though I do chat to him about wider friends and family on my side.
I had thought it was maybe just that he is quite a quiet person - but more and more I’ve been surprised by mutual friends asking me about things that I’ve only spoken about to BF - so he is obviously quite chatty with other people!
Most irritating of these, though, has been things about my children that their club instructor has brought up. I’m a little annoyed that he’s having these conversations with other people, when surely they should be asking me directly? AIBU to feel a bit off and upset?

Why are you with him if you don't talk much? Are you OK with that?

We do talk - but from his side it tends to be more trivia based, news stories or about films or TV programmes we’re interested in, nothing particularly personal.
It’s fine - we have fun together and laugh a lot - but I’m starting to feel like I need to pull back and take the relationship at face value a bit more? Companionship rather than partnership, as it were - or is that an overreaction?

I don't think it's a good thing he's talking about your kids to other people. I would have him about that if I were you and be asking him to explain himself. I'd also be wondering if he's not only a bit superficial, but is he a bit 2-faced and a bit of a gossip? What are you getting out of it OP apart from some chit-chat (that you could have with any acquaintance) and a few laughs?
I don't think you're BU at all ! He does sound "off" to me and my concern would be that I couldn't trust him to keep things in confidence. Listen to your feelings of "offness" and be wary of him because I suspect he's not trustworthy. It seems he doesn't respect confidences and I really do not like the fact he's talking about your children to people! He also sounds very shallow! Sorry.

What sort of things is he saying to other people? Is it "Spitspatspot's DS really enjoyed X activity and is doing well at it"?
Or is he saying "Spitspatspot's DS hasn't been sleeping well and it's putting us all in a bad mood"?

I'm trying to understand if he's a bit shy to talk about his feelings and is showing off about you and your children, or if he's sharing confidences that he shouldn't be.

Thanks for your thoughts @2Gen
I don’t think there’s any malice in what he’s doing, and in other ways he is great - he is supportive of me and helps me in a practical sense around my house, etc.
We’ve all been on holiday, spent Christmas together - we genuinely have a lot of fun and compared to my abusive ex, he’s amazing.
I’m genuinely feeling in turmoil, which probably sounds silly, but - if he has more involved / personal conversations with others, why not me? I feel quite hurt to be honest. Is it his way of not getting too close, I wonder?

• Why are you in a relationship with someone you can’t have a proper conversation with?
• What sorts of things I’d be saying about your kids? And to whom?

What has he been telling other people about your child?

Good points, @CurbsideProphet
To clarify, it’s more along the lines of how is DC1’s injury, has he had a diagnosis, etc. Although there has been mention of other things around issues I was having with my ex and how it was impacting the kids.
I think mutual friends believe BF and I have a genuinely close relationship, so probably ask him questions because it’s quite natural for partners to know about their OHs life, etc. My point is, is that if they were to ask me things about BFs life in a similar vein - I wouldn’t have a clue as he doesn’t tell me. It’s not good, is it? :/

I would not want anyone gossiping about my children. If you tell him things in confidence he should not be repeat g that to any of his other friends. If course it depends what type of things his is talking about.
If it's just something like, we all went to Blackpool at the weekend and Spitaspot and her ds were nearly sick on one of the rides it was so fast, then I think that is fine.
Do you feel you can talk to him about serious issues?
I can talk to dh about anything. For example we were discussing the situation with Ukraine earlier. After that dh was telling me about how much he prefers one of his managers than the other.

@Gardeningcreature thanks for your reply
As to whether I can talk to him about serious issues - I do, and I have, raisers things with him and he has been really supportive, and will have a discussion. BUT it never seems to come the other way. I’ve asked him about it, and he says it’s because he’s never had anyone available to listen to him that way and so he just ‘gets on with it’.

Start asking him about more in depth stuff?

@Spitspatspot I can see why you would be upset he is telling other people your private conversations about your ex, that's not ok at all.