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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Covid- am I being unreasonable?

19 replies

Sarahlou25r · 21/02/2022 17:37

I don’t even know where to start-

I currently live with my partner and his elderly parents (there’s a housing crisis where we live)

I’ve lived here for over a year through the pandemic. Because his parents are older and more at risk for covid I have taken covid extremely serious. I can count one 2 hands the amount of times I’ve socialised over the last 2 years. I’ve lost touch with friends and my mental my mental health has suffered because of this.

Last week I went for a walk with a friend the next day I woke up with a stuffed nose. I took antigens which were negative for 3 consecutive days. My partner felt ill when he woke up this morning and tested positive on an antigen. The first thing he did was blame me for meeting my friend the week prior. I’m so angry I cannot even look at him. I’m really thinking leaving him.

Am I over reacting?

OP posts:
allgreythings · 21/02/2022 17:40

I’ve put YANBU but really there isn’t enough detail in your op
Assuming no one else in the households been anywhere or come into contact with anyone else it would seem likely but he’s a dick to be so rude

Original poster
Sarahlou25r · 21/02/2022 17:43

@allgreythings last weekend his family got together for their nieces christening!!

OP posts:
galacticpixels · 21/02/2022 17:45

Ridiculous to blame someone for catching a virus, even if you had been the one to pass it on.

Honestly I can't believe you've lived like this for so long. How come they get together for family social events, but you haven't seen friends in 2 years?

IsItTooHotInHere · 21/02/2022 17:45

Not every sneeze or cough is Covid. We still have the common cold, and that's probably what you had. The LFT are not 100% and can give false readings. Tell your bloke to get a grip.

Moonopoly · 21/02/2022 17:48

@Sarahlou25r I think you need to look at other housing options. Losing your friends and impacts on your mental health don’t seem worth it.
Did your partner and his parents attend the christening?
Is it not more likely that’s where he caught it rather than you walking outdoors with a friend?

Suzi888 · 21/02/2022 17:52

The problem is you live with them, it’s their rules. He has acted very badly, how long do they expect you to isolate for? Don’t you need to leave the house to work, shop, etc?

RandomQuest · 21/02/2022 17:53

Why are his family allowed to go to a christening but you aren’t allowed to do anything, to the point where you’re getting hassle for a walk with a friend? It really doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship, in fact it sounds deeply controlling. Either way this is no way to live. Prioritise finding somewhere else to live for the sake of your own sanity.

DiddyHeck · 21/02/2022 17:54

[quote Sarahlou25r]@allgreythings last weekend his family got together for their nieces christening!![/quote]
What did he say when you pointed this out?

toomuchlaundry · 21/02/2022 17:56

Well in a few days time no-one will know whether they have COVID or not and we are all going back to normal, what will they do then?

Original poster
Sarahlou25r · 21/02/2022 18:07

@Moonopoly in February there were just under 127 places for rent in the whole of the country I live! Anything that is available in our county in over 2000! So unfortunately I have tried.

@RandomQuest it is a priority Grin they’re not rules per say, I’ve never directly been told I cannot meet up with people. I think I’ve enforced them on myself to keep his parents safe I’m not really sure anymore Confused

OP posts:
Middersweekly · 21/02/2022 18:12

So you’ve tested negative 3 days straight and he’s tested positive today? He’s the one who brought Covid home by the sound of it. Either way there’s no point having a finger pointing match. Just crack on with your lives. If his whole family gathered for a christening then you’re certainly allowed to see your friend!

Original poster
Sarahlou25r · 21/02/2022 18:12

@DiddyHeck he didn’t say anything Confused

OP posts:
Moonopoly · 21/02/2022 18:12

@Sarahlou25r
Did they go the christening? You say they are elderly but even my formerly shielding mother in law is meeting with people. Are they (apart from age) particularly clinically vulnerable?
Also do you not both work?

Middersweekly · 21/02/2022 18:14

Also…if it was well over a week ago you met your friend then it’s 100% him that’s brought home Covid. That incubation period is too long!

Original poster
Sarahlou25r · 21/02/2022 18:14

@Middersweekly yes I thought that too, because I had symptoms I got the blame

OP posts:
Original poster
Sarahlou25r · 21/02/2022 18:17

@Moonopoly yep, they did!
His father is yes, but as far as I’m aware omnicron is not too serious and we’re all triple vaxxed. We do, we work remotely at the moment

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 21/02/2022 18:20

People who have to blame someone else when they are ill or have to say “I’ve caught your cold” are so annoying! Doesn’t sound like it was you who have it to him but who cares if it was? These things happen.

Moonopoly · 21/02/2022 18:28

If they are going to family gatherings then why are the rules different for you?!
Is your partner controlling in other ways?

DiddyHeck · 21/02/2022 18:31

[quote Sarahlou25r]@DiddyHeck he didn’t say anything Confused[/quote]
Then keep pointing it out until he does.

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