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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD - Renting from relatives

61 replies

jazzyoldjim · 21/02/2022 12:17

DH and I are on fairly low wages (NHS staff) we have two young children and we have always struggled financially, we have lived in 5 rented houses together in 9 years. A few years ago it was suggested (by them) that DH's parents could buy a house for us to rent back from them - help us out.

The terms were - it was going to be in a specific area chosen by in laws for investment purposes, it had to be a new build for ease of maintenance (by them) and they agreed to charge us less rent than market value. A house was chosen and they took us to view it - seemed fine, we were happy, they were happy. They made an offer on the house and got it, they bought it outright - no mortgage. They gave us a tenancy agreement, the rent is cheaper than the market value for a 3bed however it is still quite a lot, it is the same as we were paying in our previous private rental. This house is also a higher council tax band. We are not any better off financially here.

Fast forward, we have been living here for 3 years and we are not massively happy. Its not the best area for us in terms of getting to work / social aspects / things to do for the children. The house itself is very small for 4 people and the extension needs some serious repair work (that they have been promising to do since we moved in) we have decorated and made it really homely, but I am reluctant to pay for any structural work because we will not benefit from the return if the property is sold.

My DH approached his parents and asked what would happen if we wanted to move, his mum was annoyed and said we'd need to go back to private renting elsewhere. We have secretly put ourselves on the council house list but it seems very slow going.

I don't want to seem ungrateful at all, but I can't help but think its a bit of a raw deal, and we are kind of stuck in it.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Horst · 21/02/2022 12:27

Always risky renting from family and yous always sounded like it was going to be hard work.

I get them not wanting in a bad area but your ideas for area should of been taken into consideration since they where buying it purely to rent to you.

Again with the repairs family are either great or shit looks like their want for a new build didn’t exactly pay off. Now you have two options really keep pushing for repair and go to the council about it or just live with it. If you go to the council you are going to annoy them but you are not happy anyway. At least if they evict you the council may house you eventually.

If your not saving money and unhappy leave. It’s meant to benefit everyone. You should ideally be saving up money as this was done to help you or the rent should be almost like a mortgage where you are buying the house off them. Your getting neither of those things.

billy1966 · 21/02/2022 13:16

You clearly owe them absolutely nothing with that deal.

Suit yourselves completely and do not spend another penny on THEIR property.

How awful that they are the type that would use family like that, their own grandchildren.

Awful.Flowers

ChoiceMummy · 21/02/2022 20:51

So they've paid for you to have home security? And now you wish to retract on the agreement?
You should have talked through if you wanted out before letting them proceed imo.

Original poster
jazzyoldjim · 21/02/2022 21:12

@ChoiceMummy You're right, we should have in hindsight not enough was talked through before committing. We do pay them £1050 a month however...

OP posts:
Thehop · 21/02/2022 21:13

I can’t believe they charged you the same rent as you were paying before when they could afford to buy outright!!!!!!!

HeckyPeck · 21/02/2022 21:17

If they'd taken on a mortgage to pay for it and were relying on your rent to cover costs, I might think differently, but they're making a £1 profit off you every month and not even maintaining the property.

The only good thing is stability in that you (presumably) won't ever have to leave.

I might stay a bit longer to see what fuel/rent prices are doing while the economy is crap.

ChoiceMummy · 21/02/2022 21:19

@Thehop

I can’t believe they charged you the same rent as you were paying before when they could afford to buy outright!!!!!!!
You're right, they have paid outright and charging less than market value whilst being liable for everything and giving the op home security! Do you think that it should be for free?
Thehop · 22/02/2022 08:22

@choicemummy No, you’re right, that’s definitely a better way to look at it. I just can’t imagine not letting my son and his family have a chance to save if I was so well off I could buy a house outright mortgage free.

Though I’m with you in a certain respect, I wouldn’t expect it myself.

wibdib · 22/02/2022 08:47

When they got into this, did you ever look at houses that would have been better for both you and your dh to live, for the commute and other aspects? Was there a reason why they get anything in that area? If you didn't - why was that? If they couldn't afford what you needed, where you needed it, then it was destined to become an issue in time as they weren't to be buying you somwhere a that could be along term home.
If they could have got something that would have been suitable then they only have themselves to blame. If not, then they should have got something that fitted their requirements for a rental property and so they should be happy to rent to non relatives, presumably for more rent - if not then they have been profiting from you, which is a great reason to move guilt free!

Firefliess · 22/02/2022 08:53

I don't think you owe them anything. If they're charging you less than market rent then they could presumably let it out for more privately. They probably like to feel that they're doing you a favour, but doesn't sound like it's really much of one. Just be aware that you've probably got more security where you are than with another private rental where the landlord might decide to sell up or want you out - but I guess you know that.

Meandthesky · 22/02/2022 09:03

They bought the house to suit themselves. You need to live somewhere to suit yourselves. If that’s not the house they bought anymore then fair enough. They’ve made thousands of pounds from “helping you out” so don’t feel bad about not wanting their help anymore

GizmosEveningBath · 22/02/2022 09:11

Don't feel bad about considering a move. Yes it was less than market value but it doesn't sound like anything near peppercorn rent either. If they let it to private tenants then they would have to pull thier socks of and maintain the house properly, pay an agent etc and at least they know you are looking after the place. All things considered they may be financially better off letting to you. It doesn't sound like much of a favour tbh.

GizmosEveningBath · 22/02/2022 09:11

*pull thier socks up

Theunamedcat · 22/02/2022 09:15

I dont think it should be free but I do think basic maintenance and acting like actual landlords if your paying real rent not a token amount

Totalwasteofpaper · 22/02/2022 09:17

You made a mistake 3 years ago.

Insisting on areas etc. Isn't particularly reasonable and I wouldn't have agreed on that basis. The rent isn't helping you get on the ladder and it's set at a level that doesn't enable you to save or save faster.

They are profiteering off you and it sounds like although there is a contract they are not fulfilling their obligations as a landlord.

Private tenants would involve maintainance, annual checks, betterment and letting agent fees. They are doing well off of you.
I'd move out personally.

HappyDays40 · 22/02/2022 09:17

I think you re being fair OP they have not kept to the Tennancy Agreement. Its not like you are expecting them to buy you another house is it.

DingDongDenny · 22/02/2022 10:11

I don't think they are being overly generous and you don't owe them anything. It would have been kinder to take into consideration your needs when it came to the area to buy in. It also sounds as if they aren't out of pocket financially, given the rent you are paying. You can't put your life on hold due to a perceived favour which doesn't really exist

Malibuismysecrethome · 22/02/2022 10:19

Just move out. Let them have the reality and expense of tenants.

FairyCakeWings · 22/02/2022 10:33

How is it a raw deal?

You got to see and agree to the property before it was bought, you're paying less than market rent and you have complete security. I don't see how that's a bad deal. Your in laws were trying to help, how much else do you think they owe you for it to be a good deal for everyone involved?

If you've changed your mind about the property suiting your family then fair enough. These things change and one of the benefits of renting is that you can move on more easily.

I'm not sure what the problem is on your side tbh. Of course if you don't want to stick with the agreement you'd have to go back into renting elsewhere, what else would you expect?

Danikm151 · 22/02/2022 11:07

You're paying them a significant amount each month, they have enough money to pay for the structural work, after all they've had over £37k from you over 3 years.
They don't need to pay towards a mortgage so they should be fixing what needs to be fixed, they're happy to let their grandchildren live in a place that needs work doing to it?

If the council is slow going, apply for housing association places as well, you might get lucky and that will give you more stability.

Theunamedcat · 22/02/2022 11:29

@FairyCakeWings

How is it a raw deal?

You got to see and agree to the property before it was bought, you're paying less than market rent and you have complete security. I don't see how that's a bad deal. Your in laws were trying to help, how much else do you think they owe you for it to be a good deal for everyone involved?

If you've changed your mind about the property suiting your family then fair enough. These things change and one of the benefits of renting is that you can move on more easily.

I'm not sure what the problem is on your side tbh. Of course if you don't want to stick with the agreement you'd have to go back into renting elsewhere, what else would you expect?

Less than market rent for that area which is inconvenient for them and not where they wanted to live and no maintenance done?
FairyCakeWings · 22/02/2022 11:37

But they didn’t have to agree to the area where the property was going to be bought, no one forced them into this deal. They could have said no thank you and chosen to live wherever they wanted within their budget.

The in laws were clearly trying to help. If it ends up that this arrangement doesn’t work out then fair enough, but I think the implication that the in laws were trying to profit from or control the son and his family are unfair.

Obviously as there’s a proper tenancy agreement the in laws should be making the repairs necessary for the property, but we have no idea of their reasons for not having it done quickly.

WomanStanleyWoman · 22/02/2022 12:17

I agree with @FairyCakeWings. The only area where the in-laws are at fault is with the repairs. They should have sorted that long ago.

Otherwise, the OP and her husband saw the size of the house, the location of the house and were presumably informed of the asking price in rent for the house. At ANY point they could have said ‘Thanks, but it’s not really going to work for us’. They didn’t.

My DH approached his parents and asked what would happen if we wanted to move, his mum was annoyed and said we'd need to go back to private renting elsewhere.

I’d be interested to hear the motivation for this question. Was ‘You’ll need to go back to private renting elsewhere’ an unexpected answer? If so, what was the expected answer? Maybe ‘We’ll look at reducing the rent’ or even ‘Maybe we could look into selling up and buying somewhere better for you’?

From all the references to how the rent isn’t that much below the market rate and the fact that the in-laws could buy the house outright, I’m guessing OP and her husband think they should be getting a bigger break on the rent, or some other level of financial help. I suspect the house got smaller and the area more inconvenient once the reality of the rent they agreed to kicked in.

ChoiceMummy · 22/02/2022 17:36

@Danikm151

You're paying them a significant amount each month, they have enough money to pay for the structural work, after all they've had over £37k from you over 3 years. They don't need to pay towards a mortgage so they should be fixing what needs to be fixed, they're happy to let their grandchildren live in a place that needs work doing to it?

If the council is slow going, apply for housing association places as well, you might get lucky and that will give you more stability.

Whilst not havibg access to the considerable funds that they used to buy the house for them and could have been spending that money doing whatever they wish with!
Whammyyammy · 22/02/2022 17:44

They've made £37k plus whatever the house has increased by over the last 3 years, move and don't feel guilty.

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