I would have posted this on the parenting forum, but most posts seem to be about babies, so not sure that's the right place for this.
I'm getting increasingly worried about my son and his behaviour and how he appears different to other children of the same age. I understand that 'normal' is a spectrum, but I'm not sure if there may be an underlying cause for his behaviour (ADHD, ADD, ASD possibly). Looking for opinions on those who have / have experience with 7 year old boys!
Some examples of his behaviour:
- Constant noise. All the time. Humming, singing, silly noises. Right now he is doing some maths, he is making constant silly sounds as he completes it! When drawing he will be noisy, playing with toys he will be noisy, watching TV he will be hanging upside down! He can be quiet when engrossed in something, for example building a lego set, playing his switch, reading a book, he can sit through a 2 hour + movie at the cinema. On those occasions he will be quiet and not jumping around.
- He is noisy around other children, who sometimes seem overwhelmed by him. He doesn’t seem to recognise when they are getting annoyed, unless they directly tell him. Will quite often ‘get in their face’ making silly faces / noises / saying silly things.
- Finds standing in lines / queues difficult… will often be the ‘odd one out’ jumping around or fidgeting. Same with sitting still at dinner time. Will often need reminding to sit properly with legs down under the table.
- Plays with a lot of the younger children at school. He does often play with his peer group too, but they can be quite nasty to him (in particular the boys), saying things like he is ‘rubbish at football’ and ‘they don’t like him’. We've had meetings with the school about the boys being horrible to him. He is more popular with the girls who describe him as kind, funny and caring.
- Very academically able. He is reading books beyond his years, very wide vocabulary, most spelling tests he gets 8/10+ (despite seldom practising at home), often gets 100% in maths tests (again with limited practise at home), lovely handwriting, very imaginative and will write stories that are pages and pages long. According to school he is excelling in maths and computing.
- Never has tantrums (or had tantrums as a toddler), never had meltdowns. He is not aggressive or mean at all. Accepting of what I say and new rules, very compliant if asked to do something, although he will often get half way through and get distracted! He has always been a fantastic sleeper.
- School has said he often appears to not be paying attention. Anything will distract him (children playing outside the window, other children chatting or moving around). However, this isn’t effecting his school work at the moment and he does consistently well. They have concerns about him moving up into KS2 with his lack of focus. He also comes out of school most days looking bedraggled (think bag wide open, hands full of stuff that could be in his bag). Quite often has to be sent back in because he’s forgotten something.
- Really enjoys minecraft / nintendo switch. Would sit and play on it all day (or watch related videos on youtube) if allowed. He currently has a one hour limit a day which he's never complained about and accepts, but will often still do a minecraft related activity, for example reading a book about minecraft or drawing a picture.
However, he will also engage with other interests - such as asking what I'd like to play that day, we watch a variety of films together, he loves David Walliams books, pokemon, Yu-Gi Oh. At the toy shop recently he spent his money on a mario lego set, minecraft book and pokemon teddy. So it's not as though he has one fixation.
I was also very academically able at school, always in the top sets and ended up with all A’s / A*’s across my school life. I notice that DS is very similar to me as a child in a lot of ways, I was described as ‘Taz’ (from the cartoon) and a ‘whirlwind’. I could never be quiet or just walk anywhere, I had to roly poly everywhere or be silly. I didn’t do any after school clubs as I just wanted to do my own thing and found clubs too restrictive. I didn’t struggle socially however, but I’ve since learnt that girls with ADHD / ASD can mask much better. Although I have grown out of a lot of those behaviours now, I would still say I am ‘quirky’, but able to fit in. I’m always spilling things, dropping food, being a bit ‘odd’ sometimes but not really caring. I have a lovely group of friends, family, partner. Jokes often go over my head and need to be clarified!
TIA