Lending money to friends

[1stevernamechange]

To give some context, there are three people, A,B and C. B and C are in a relationship and are both close friends with A.
B is setting up his own business, and in September, asked A to lend them £300 for an unexpected insurance bill. A at that time wasn’t too bad for money so happily lent it. B replied that they would set up instalments to pay it back ASAP. A then told B that there was no rush.
It was never mentioned again, A went on many shopping trips with B where B spent a lot of money on their hobby, Christmas came, and A told B and C how money was getting tough and that they were in their overdraft by a lot.
A spoke to C to ask how they should broach the subject of the loan with B , as it had not been mentioned, C replied to find a quiet moment and ask it B had remembered. A got nervous each time as they didn’t want to make B feel awkward, and had received some money, so it wasn’t as urgent a situation now.
B found out that A had talked to C about it ( even though B had told C about the loan at the time) and was angry and upset and now isn’t talking to A, saying they will pay it in full this week, even though A has told them they do not need to.
AIBU to think that B should have spoken to A in the meantime to say that the loan hasn’t been forgotten?

No one forgets about £300.
You don’t lend money you can’t afford to lose…. But if you borrow money and don’t pay it back you can’t get sniffy about people’s lack of discretion.

A is a bit of a wimp.
B is self centred and thoughtless. They ought to be embarrassed, not lashing out at people for talking about the money. Nobody would be talking about them if they’d repaid it…

B is bring a twat and should have returned the money instead of putting A in the awful situation of having to ask for it, either from B or C.

B never had any intention of repaying it and is annoyed you have raised it.

A needs to be more assertive and stop telling borrowers ‘there’s no need to repay it quickly.’

I’m guessing you are A, OP. Just say that, why all this subterfuge?

A is a weedy wet.
B is a cf.
C is excess to requirements.

Honestly, B should have paid back the money as soon as possible.

It's really fucking RUDE not to repay money you've borrowed as soon as you can.

A and C should not have even had to consider worrying about hurting B's feelings if B had just done the right thing in the first place. B has no moral high ground here at all.

Moral of the story - never borrow money from or lend money to friends. Never.

@ThatsNotMyGolem

Neither a borrower nor a lender be! It's a recipe for disaster.

That was my late father's favourite saying and still as true as ever!!

Exactly @DropYourSword. A has done B a huge favour and then had it thrown back in their face.

It's shit like this that stop people from lending money when it is really needed, because piss takers so often prioritise their own frivalous spending over paying back the kind person lent them the money.

And people shouldn't 'not expect it back' when they've been asked for a loan. Loans are requested and made with the intention of repayment. If the person asking to borrow is so entitled that they expect to be given money and not have to pay it back in a reasonable timescale, they should own it and ask outright for the money as a gift. Then poor sods like A will rightly be able to decide with their eyes open, and probably refuse.

I'm regularly surprised by the number of people who seemingly never learnt the lesson about not lending money to friends.

I learnt this lesson aged 12, with a CF friend who always wanted small "loans" of a quid here, quid there, just to buy typical teenage tat. She never paid me back without an argument, so I simply stopped lending. Problem solved.

Never lend to anyone, unless you're happy to accept it's actually a gift.

I’m lost here and don’t understand your tale of woe. Best thing is not to lend money to anyone and expect to get it back.

@zingally

I'm regularly surprised by the number of people who seemingly never learnt the lesson about not lending money to friends.

I learnt this lesson aged 12, with a CF friend who always wanted small "loans" of a quid here, quid there, just to buy typical teenage tat. She never paid me back without an argument, so I simply stopped lending. Problem solved.

Never lend to anyone, unless you're happy to accept it's actually a gift.

Talk about victim blaming.

There's always a sob story and you're always made to feel like a selfish bastard if you refuse.

The loan is always for some essential like insurance, food for DC, electricity, so it's incredibly hard to see a friend or family apparently not be able to cover essentials, especially when you could help them, and they beg and promise to repay the money.

Save your surprise for the number of people who guilt family and friends into 'lending' them money and not bothering to pay it back while shamelessly spending on non-essentials.

I happily lend money to a very longstanding friend. He is hard working, but average earner.

I am fortunate to be a higher earner.

Hence a few hundred pounds can make a big difference to him and I would cope without it.

However if our earnings levels were similar I wouldn't do this.

Why does A keep sending the message that repayment isn't important, if she wants the money back?

I'm not rich and my friends aren't rich but - since being teenagers we've never borrowed or lent money to each other. Why do people do it? A bus fare or a cup of coffee here and there, yes, but I just can't get my mind round using friends as a bank. How would you even broach the question?

If you need the money, surely close family are your first call, if you really can't get a proper loan and....dare I say it...perhaps, if you can't afford it, maybe you shouldn't have it? There's so much on MN about the problems caused by lending to friends and the amounts and reasons are not trivial, so it's not as though someone's short of a bag of groceries or a train fare - they are often considerable sums for a quite 'optional' reason - not emergencies.

Never lend money to friends it never ends well you either don't get paid back or you lose a friend