Partner touching me, low libido

[Secretpassword]

AIBU if i dont want my partner touching me in any sexual way when i simply dont want him to. I always feel guilty for having a low libido, ive been to tge doctors countless times, i get fobed off every time. My partner and i have been 2gether 8 years and are super comfortable with each other, we're 2 kids down and things havent been the same with my vag after our 1st (6yrs). After our 2nd (18m) ive felt an increase in libido, buts its still pretty low. We have sex 1-2x a month. He wants it all the time, but i just can not force myself, nor will i. But there are little things that seem to piss me off like him just resting his hand on my vag and having a little twiddle. I hate this, is it wrong?

Of course it’s wrong.

Have you told him how you feel?

Ugghhh I shuddered reading that, many men seem to think that it's a turn on when it couldn't be further from the truth and can actually make you very uncomfortable. Have you spoken about this?

It must be tough for your DH having a mismatch in sex drive but that doesn't mean he should go fondling you when you aren't interested.

Yes, but i think he could get confused as my libido has been up lately. But it drops so quickly. I guess he cant tell when im coming or going.

We have openly and continuosly discussed this. How i feel and how things he does can make me feel. It just doesnt seem to be getting through. I cant even say hes arrogant with it. He is very supportive and i do believe he tries his best. But im at a point of telling him off properly now.

He's not trying his best. And if he is, then his best is not good enough.

Mismatch in libido is hard, but that doesn't mean you can touch someone sexually without consent.

If he won't change his behaviour after open and continuous discussion then I suspect he'll never change.

Damn! Could this really be the hard truth!?

He is touching your vagina without your consent when you have asked him not to. You clearly have issues of low matched sex drive that you need to resolve but you resolve that by talking about how you can improve your relationship so you are both happy.

He is sexually assaulting you. This is not ok. He needs to stop it right now

Touching your vagina and “having a little twiddle” without your consent is revolting. It’s sexual assault. It also sounds incredibly off putting to treat you like a commodity in this way.

I wouldn’t want to go anywhere near him tbh

He is making the situation so much worse - and he doesn’t seem to care. At all.