This may be long, so I'm sorry in advance.
I have a 5/6 month old kitten and didn't mention that I was looking for another cat or thinking about it. DM and DB both had told me about gettin another cat to keep kitten company but I hadn't agreed nor disagreed, I was happy with current situation.
Last weekend DM calls me and asks if I wanted another cat, I thought she was joking and on about taking her cat as he can be a pain in the ass, so I asked what he had done now. She said no, DB is going to pick up a cat that a woman needs to re-home asap as they need to move back home. I was a bit put on th spot and didn't really say yes or no but I was busy with my DD so needed to go. About a couple hours later my DB turns up with the cat. She's beautiful but clearly scared and he told me he thinks she's better here than DM's or DB's as my house is quieter. DB has a cat, 2 dogs, a parrot, rats, reptiles and fish and also a toddler. DM has 2 dogs and a cat.
So I gave her a chance, I looked into what to do and it said to keep them in a room to start with until comfortable, she took residence on top of my fridge and only ever came down for food or the toilet. I kept the door closed for the first couple days as my kitten was constantly trying to play with her and she was aggressive with him (hes neutered). After that I would leave the door open so she could come and explore if she wanted. Every night I would go and sit out the kitchen with the door closed and give her some love and attention, but if she heard my kitten outside of the door then she'd jump straight back up to the top of the fridge. I would try and bring her into the living room but she would run straight back to th fridge.
After a week there was absolutely no improvement, infact she got even more aggressive with my kitten. I felt bad for her, she clearly didn't feel comfortable here and my kitten was the issue as she was so affectionate with people. She is 7 years old btw. A step family member had mentioned at a family gathering during the week, that they had been searching for a cat for a while with no luck. There is only 2 of them in their house and no other pets.
Today I tried to get cat from on top of the fridge but she wouldn't even let me pick her up, she just huddled into a ball and pushed herself back. I felt terrible for her as she looked unhappy. I messaged step family member and explained and asked if she'd like to give her a home. She came round to see her today and decided she'd love to take her a home. She has since sent me multiple videos of the cat and she looks so comfortable, she's exploring the house, cuddling into them, chilling on the sofa etc and looks so much more relaxed. I thought I did the right thing, I gave her a much suitable home with people I know who are going to look after her.
Just now I receive an aggressive message from my DB telling me I never gave her a chance, I kept her locked up and that's why it didn't work out etc. He had seen step family members post about the cat on social media. I explained the situation and how she had been for the whole week, and then explained how she was in the videos in her new home, how different she was and that I felt like this was a perfect fit for her. He started shouting because he said if I didn't want the cat then he wanted it. I said it wasn't that I didn't want her, she just didn't seem comfortable at all and there was no improvement and that I felt this home would be better suited considering she was 7 and she was used to be an only pet. He continued to give m abuse, basically calling me a bad pet owner and that I was being sneaky and didn't tell him because I know he'd be angry. Thing is, I didn't tell him because it just happened today, i also didn't believe that his home wouldnt be suitable for her but I knew he wouldn't accept that and would take her anyway. As I said above, he has alot of pets, and one of his dogs is incredibly energetic and doesn't listen to commands. He called be some horrible names, told me it wasn't my cat to give away, and then blocked me on all social media.
He has ADHD, has only been diagnosed since being an adult but since his diagnosis he gets really verbally aggressive, says the worst things and then a couple of weeks later I'm forced to accept that "it's just how he is and it's his ADHD" without even an apology. I'm really sick of it. I've sat crying because I'm fed up.
So
Yanbu : I did the right thing in rehoming her
Yabu : you should've given her more time.