To feel so utterly lonely

[Tothemoonandbackx]

When my DD is at her dad's, I came home and the house feels so empty. I've just done a 13 hour shift at work, I'm exhausted, could do with a shower, needing food and the only thing that's really bothering/ upsetting me, is that she's not here with me. I want to cry myself to sleep. Does anyone else ever feel this??? I started the shower going, went downstairs to turn the TV off, crept upstairs and realised I didn't have to be so quite as there was no one there to wake

sorry you feel lonely.

Ah bless you're exhausted and missing your wee girl. Get some good rest and she'll be back before you know it

Sorry you feel lonely OP. Try not to focus on feeling lonely & focus on any positives. Some me time, or anything you can’t do when DD is there. Sometimes being alone forces us to think and reflect because we haven’t got anything else to focus on, as hard as it is try to enjoy your own company

I’m the exact same over my six year old. I feel lost when I’m at work and she’s at school. I get called crazy all the time but I can’t help it.

@jobhunter7 thank you, I think the long day just got to me last night Xx

@Alliswells thank you, I'm going to ask my ex if I can see her today, even though it's his day to have her, I don't think he'd mind Xx

@Nostrings457 I try and do that as much as possible, and normally, I'm OK. I think it's the nights that get me sometimes. Coming in to an empty house, this is why I spend so much time on Mumsnet, lol. Thank you for your kind words though Xx

@Katya213 it's awful isn't it. Mine is 3, and normally I'm OK when she's not with me, as she's with her dad, and he really is a good one, so I don't have to worry about her, I just really really miss her being with me. You are certainly not crazy for feeling lost without her Xx

Actually I’m going to go against the grain here. I think what you’ve recognised is you rely on your child for company. This isn’t healthy for them growing up, because they will come to recognise you need them like this. Don’t see her today, battle through, and start to think how you will address and fix the issue without making your child the solution. I know it’s hard and shit when you’re lonely, but use this as the sign to fix it, not become reliant on her to fix it for you.

Good luck, 💐

Tbh no I can't really relate and that worries me . My kids spend Sunday and Monday nights with my ex and I frigging love being on my own. It's literally only nights, they are here until 9pm. Am I odd?

@Ipadflowers

Actually I’m going to go against the grain here. I think what you’ve recognised is you rely on your child for company. This isn’t healthy for them growing up, because they will come to recognise you need them like this. Don’t see her today, battle through, and start to think how you will address and fix the issue without making your child the solution. I know it’s hard and shit when you’re lonely, but use this as the sign to fix it, not become reliant on her to fix it for you.

Good luck, 💐

Totally agree with this comment. I remember feeling incrediably lonely when my kids were younger and away witht their dad. When they went away on holiday for a 1-2 weeks at a time it was really diffcult. I had to learn to build up my own life again, keeping myself busy. Try and make plans with friends, or maybe even consider dipping you toe into the dating world. You don't have to be seeking a new lifelong partner, but its fun to meet up with new people.

I know exactly how you feel OP and it's completely ok to feel this way. I'm a single parent and when my sons are with their dad I am so lost and it's much more then relying on them for comfort, it's grieving the fact that I don't get spend the time o thought I would worth them, the time o dreamed of when I thought of myself as a Mum. Grieving the little things I will and I do miss.
It's ok to feel like this, as horrible as it might feel.
How old is your daughter? How long is she away for?
Sending lots of love to you ❤️

@Ipadflowers

Actually I’m going to go against the grain here. I think what you’ve recognised is you rely on your child for company. This isn’t healthy for them growing up, because they will come to recognise you need them like this. Don’t see her today, battle through, and start to think how you will address and fix the issue without making your child the solution. I know it’s hard and shit when you’re lonely, but use this as the sign to fix it, not become reliant on her to fix it for you.

Good luck, 💐

I have to agree with this. Even our beloved children shouldn't be 100 percent of our social world. It's not fair to them and it's not well-rounded.

Sounds as though you have a tough job; plan some pampering, tv, food treats for the nights she's away.

@Ipadflowers

Actually I’m going to go against the grain here. I think what you’ve recognised is you rely on your child for company. This isn’t healthy for them growing up, because they will come to recognise you need them like this. Don’t see her today, battle through, and start to think how you will address and fix the issue without making your child the solution. I know it’s hard and shit when you’re lonely, but use this as the sign to fix it, not become reliant on her to fix it for you.

Good luck, 💐

I agree 100% with this. Please don’t make your child feel that you rely on them , you are not their responsibility. My dc have asked in the past what I do when they are with their Dad. I always say that I miss them but get to do nice things with my friends, hobbies etc so it’s good for everyone!
I recommend getting into a great series on tv, getting to eat something they don’t like ( maybe a hot curry) baths, uninterrupted reading, make the most of it. I love my nights in alone. Your situation is not going to change so make it better for yourself. Good luck.

@Featuredcreature

Tbh no I can't really relate and that worries me . My kids spend Sunday and Monday nights with my ex and I frigging love being on my own. It's literally only nights, they are here until 9pm. Am I odd?

I agree with this so glad it’s not just me, in fact I even made a post about it the other day! I have 4 kids and my ex is absent I would give anything for a regular break from them and never really get the want/need to be with your child 24/7 do people not enjoy a break for themselves? I’m literally going insane with no break 😏 seems a bit sad when people revolve their whole life around their kids to the fact they can’t bare to be away from them at all. Make a life for yourself and enjoy not just being a mum and nothing else.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4483322-For-wanting-a-break?msgid=115171021#115171021