To discuss with parents or not…

[namnamnam22]

I’m in my late 30s, own house/job/family but seem to have regular parent issues (in myself and my siblings eyes anyway). My parents go away every weekend to their holiday home and basically spend Friday - Sunday drinking with friends. This is their choice but more often than not it ends in them arguing and a whole lot of drama and embarrassment for them.

One will fall out with the other and lock the other out/bad mouth them to other people etc etc etc. sometimes we end up getting dragged into this and every time we say we don’t want to hear the other parent being badmouthed.

We also spent very little (no) time as a family, our parents aren’t really interested in being a family and prefer to do their own thing, which is sad for the grandchildren.

Over this weekend the drinking drama has cropped up again and one parent had to stay with another family member. Is it time to speak up and suggest they grow up/quit the weekend drinking if they can’t handle it or do we stay out of this and leave them to it but specifically state that we do not want contacted again next time it happens?

You dont tell them what to do but you stop enabling the behaviour around you.

You warn them you will not engage in that subject with them again.

You simply dont answer to the drama.

If they call and start talking like that,you put the phone down.
And you absolutely don't let them stay with you when ones makes a drama. Leave them to it.

It sounds like a good thing that you dont spend much family time together.

Let them drink themselves into an argument. Best not to have your children near that too often.

You'll never change them or their habits.

@Notimeforaname Thank you, that’s really good advice. I’m a sensitive soul so end up really upset over all of this

Step away from them and keep your children away from this ugliness.

They have chosen this lifestyle.

Stay away from them unless you wantbyour children to remember this in their childhood.

Just leave them to it. Don't answer the phone at weekends if you know they are drinking

It's their choice, unfortunately. Try not to get drawn into the drama